The real reason for alien abductions and anal probes! (semi-humor)

So I saw this video, and I instantly started thinking about alien abduction and anal probes:

youtube.com/watch?v=GfPJeDssBOM

The video has almost 400,000 views. How many people do you think have watched the video and then gone off to tried it? And what are the onions thinking about this? They're probably in denial and doubt, and the onions who've never seen humans think the abducted onions are delusional or attention seekers. The onions that it happens to disagree about why it happens. Some believe humans are an enlightened race with the onion's best interest at heart. Others believe humans are an evil species bent on world domination.

Sound familiar?

So now we all know the real reason why aliens abduct humans: They're recharging their ipods.


(For those who are unclear, this post is intended to be funny, and yet offer useful perspective. Those who have difficulty understanding metaphors, little sense of humor, and think that "Dude, onions don't think. You're an idiot." is a useful post, might be better off posting elsewhere.)