Suicide Intervention

I have spent the last two days attending a seminar based on "Suicide Intervention". It was a very emotional and heart wrenching two days, and it was truly an eye opening experience.

The stigma that is suicide is an interesting concept. Suicide among teens is prevalent, yet we continue to deny it's existence. I've read statistics that show 80-90% of all individuals have suicidal thoughts at one time or another, in their life time. The number of people that follow through in any attempt, benign or not, is much lower. But the thought of nine out of ten people having the thought, is quite alarming.

What do you say someone to save their life?

How do you prevent someone from taking their own life, without being judgmental?

In the most dire of situations, how do you connect with a complete stranger?

A few activities we participated in were, the instructor had us close our eyes and described a scene. We are driving along a back road as we approach a bridge. On the bridge, we see an individual that looks to be looking over the edge. Then she says to open your eyes. When we open our eyes, she is standing up on a large desk, getting ready to jump. We have five minutes to save her life.

Another situation was, we closed our eyes again and she began to describe how depressed she was. She then slammed a very large book on the desk, and said that was the first gun shot. In five minutes, the second one was going to be fatal. Speak.

The first few seconds are filled with, "Uhhh..Uhhh... Uhhh" and not exactly sure what to say.

But as we progressed through the day, things began to fall into place and it was quite informative.

I do find it interesting though how drastic the numbers are, yet how little this issue is discussed. Teens do not want to talk about sex, but they might be more inclined to talk about sex than they are suicide.

Is this something that we should/need to address among our students, children, youth, etc.

I firmly believe that this begins in the schools, and not the homes. Our educators can really leave a lasting impression, and engage those that are ostracized by their peers. These quiet and lonely adolescents that rarely speak at school, are going home to their parents and presenting an image that the parents want to see. Thus they are not getting an accurate representation of just who the individual is.

Which is why it is so important for the educators to have a pro-active approach to this issue.

Wow. I would absolutely love to see this seminar. People do not realise how important and how common these things really are.

It's important for people to actually talk about suicide instead of simply dodging around the subject. I've noticed this a lot in my school. Everytime the subject arises in our principals' speeches, they always dance around it as if saying something about it as if it were profane or unrealistic.

Suicide is so so very real, but people just don't want to admit it and it saddens me because if we recognized that there was a problem, we could learn how to fix it.

Last year at my school, a boy who was only 16 years old walked out of the campus in the middle of his lunch period and shot himself in the head. He died in an instant. He was my friend's friend and they had plans to go see a movie after school that day.

Naturally, I was crying my eyes out and just typing this right now brings tears to my eyes. Why? Because although I didn't know him, I shared something with him; depression, being misunderstood, being teased and having death stare you in the face. If only I had spoken to him, he might've been alive still.

And what angered me further was the fact that no one learned from it. You would not believe what people were saying; "Stupid emo kid" "I knew it was going to happen" "What a loser, I saw it coming". Did you not learn? Did you not realise that Michael Priest is not living anymore? And did you realise it is YOUR FAULT?

He didn't have many friends and people had teased him since his junior high years. If someone had shown him empathy and compassion, he could've still been alive. But of course, the best kind of sight is hindsight, so even if I had the chance, who's to say I would've known he needed my help? And who's to say I could've stopped him from his fate?

I have suicidal thoughts every single day, but lately they've merely been passing thoughts. And it only took a couple of friends to pull me out of serious considerations. He didn't even have that. In fact, he had people pushing him further and further into depression to the point of his suicide. How cruel can people be?

If I saw a woman who was about to commit suicide and I had 5 minutes to change her mind, in all honesty, I would not know exactly what to say. It's like handling something so extremely fragile where every move you make could be the end of it. But I definitely have something to think long and hard about now.

Suicide intervention? Saving lives? Yeah. That's important.

I need to make it clear that I am not an medical professional.
Here in New Zealand the issue has been debated in the recent past.

"There is little evidence that didactic school-based suicide prevention programmes which focus on raising awareness about suicide in schools students... are effective in reducing suicidal behaviour and there are concerns that such programmes may not be safe," says their report, published in the New Zealand Medical Journal.

source

Personally I am of the school of thought that the more aware people are of the problem the more likely to be able make a difference so I have no problem programs in schools and a charity boxing event known as the fight for life that gained TV coverage in previous years.

Well that is just my 10 cents .

[edit on 26-10-2007 by xpert11]

Awesome Thread Chissler.

The whole subject of suicide is a huge messed up ball of thoughts and ideas.

There has been a lot in the news in recent day about suicide in Hong Kong as there has been an alarming rise over the last few years. It seems as the economy improves, the pressure on everyone increases!

Last week there was an awful incident, where a mother murdered her two children by throwing them from there 25th floor flat and then she jumped herself.

This was a woman on the edge and yet nothing was done. Her father had passed recently and her husband was (and I assume still is) in hospital with cancer, the bills were mounting and her children were struggling at school.

She had been on a radio show to complain about the lack of help from the social services just two weeks before it all became too much.

The blame game is raging on the news, lack of experienced staff, lack of gov funding, pay structure is forcing people in to the private sector etc etc. The one reason they all seem to be missing is that no-one and I mean no-one gives a crap about other people in general.

Maybe you care about your family and one or two close friends, but that is where it ends for most people these days. Years ago people had support systems, friends and friends of friends who would question if something was up. Now people just get on with there stuff, to afraid to ask questions.

The "It's none of my business" attitude is a prevailing feature of today's world.

Sometimes I think this is where the curch does some good work, it's just a shame about the whole god, holier than thou. crap that goes with it (very much so in Hong Kong!)

I don't know how far of the mark I am, but I alway thought that the best way to get help was to ask for it? Although like the sad story I mentioned above, maybe that dosen'rt even work any more.

Chissler. Good luck puting what you have learnt in to practise. All you can do is your best.

MonKey

Suicide almost touched my life in a very very personnal way some years back. My daughter had been contemplating it and I didnot know. On the surface at home she was fine and gave no indication of what she was planning. She like so many others was treated cruelly at school and dispite the fact that I had been to the school many many times the bullying was allowed to continue. I was told she had to develop a thicker skin. We got involved with outside activities such as soccer and 4-H where she was accepted and loved. I truly thought that between that and my love and support at home it was enough; but it wasn't.

That Christmas my boyfriend and I planned to give her a horse because she loves horses so much. We bought Ebony a 25 year old quarter horse mare and Mark a 18 month grade gelding and all the tack and equipment. Mark had been abused and neglected through ignorance more then anything so there was much work to do with him. On Christmas day we gave her both horses. She was so surprised and happy. I found out later that those horses and the love that came with them was what turned the corner. There were still hard times but I firmly believe that she and Mark walked out of thier dark places together. She is now a happy confident college sophmore with a bright future in social work. Mark is now a happy healthy 9 year old horse who has been in shows and loves his girl with all his heart. We lost Ebony to colic and old age some years ago but she has a special place in my heart always as does Mark.

I'm sorry if this is disjointed it still brings me to tears to think of it. My point is that sometimes we don't know what will reach the person and cause them to change their minds and turn back towards life. Sometimes it's a kind word or action that causes that person to realize that the pain the fierce unrelenting pain they are feeling is only temporary and life is good.

Please please people if you even think that some one is contemplating suicide get them help. Turn to them and love them; a kind word costs us nothing but may mean the world to that person; a smile a hug those things are priceless to some one in pain.

Good thread chissler.

I've had some rather personal experiences with suicide and suicidal thoughts and I know exactly what I would do if I have only 5 minutes to 'save' someone.

I would hug them tightly, tell them I care and ask them to tell me their problems. Then I would listen without judgement or interruption, sympathize with their situation and tell them that even if it doesn't seem like it right now, things will get better.

This is a problem that hits me on all fronts...

My sister has been suicidal on several occasions.

When my parents abandoned me, they kept my sister. Suffice it to say, my father did not like little boys, only little girls. She is a year and a half older then me and has suffered failed marriages and troubled children. Basically her life is a mess.

I give all the help and support that I can, but there is only so much I can do, or rather that she will let me do.

Also in my life there have been times when I have contemplated ending it all. Back when I was drinking heavy, I came close a number of times. Counseling helped some, but only until I could get back to my lonely apartment and my bottle of Southern Comfort.

I have always considered myself a survivor, but during those times I just did not care and many a time I thought to myself that "This is my life, I'll end it if I want to"..

I still suffer deeply with PTSD and of course it's close cousin Clinical Depression, I can not take the Meds that most take, not and stay on the job, so I deal with it. Knowledge is power and as long as I am aware that the dark feelings I have are a part of the disease and not a part of me, I pull myself up. But it is hard.

In my job over the years I have dealt with suicidal people more than once of course. I like to think that maybe once or twice I have saved someone. Again, it is not easy...

Thanks for the thread Chissler, talking about stuff like this, getting it into the open, airing things out, makes it easier to deal with...

I have hesitated to post here, especially stuff this personal and close to home. But I have been feeling down for awhile now, fall brings it on a lot, and figured if I was going to talk to someone, who better than my ATS family...

Semper

[edit on 10/26/2007 by semperfortis]

Great thread, Chissler. I'd be interested in learning more about that seminar you attended. Sounds like a necessary learning experience.

Several years ago I happened upon a young man who was sitting with his head bowed down, his left hand tightly gripping the hair on his head and his right hand tightly gripping a knife. The life-threatening situation was immediately apparent. He was contemplating suicide. I stopped abruptly only 3 feet from him and just stood there. He didn't look up although I have no doubt he was aware of my presence. After a long moment of utter silence between us I softly said, "I can feel your pain all the way over here. May I sit with you?" He didn't answer or acknowledge me in any way. Every muscle in his body was tensed. I held out both hands to show I had no intention of trying to wrestle the knife away from him and neither of us spoke during the eternity it took for me to cross the short distance between us. I know it sounds crazy but I could almost hear every choice he was struggling with: "I could just stab this nosey old woman. I have nothing to lose, etc." Finally, I was close enough to put my hand gently on his shoulder, which I did, paused then said, "I'm just going to sit with you. We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Then I sat down with my arm around his back. We sat like that in silence for a few minutes then I slowly brought my free arm up to to his face and tilted his head to rest on my shoulder and just rocked him for a while. After a few more minutes I could feel some of the tension draining from his body and when I felt that he had reached a point of indecision/doubt I slowly straightened up and just wordlessly held out my hand. He hesitated then handed me the knife. I slowly laid it on the ground next to my side then went back to holding him and stroking his hair while he rested his head on my shoulder. I finally asked him if he wanted to talk about it and he shook his head, "no" so I continued to hold him while I felt his tears running silently down my shirt. His was such a tortured soul that I felt words would only make it worse. When I could feel that his body was exhausted from the emotional strain he'd been going through, I wiped his face with my sleeve (all I had at the time) and looked him in the face. He wouldn't meet my gaze but I said, "there's no pain so great that it can't be shared. rest now and I'll be here if you need me."
That was 10 years ago (give or take) and that young man is now married and has 2 sons. It only took a half hour out of my busy day and hardly any words at all. He didn't need or want a pep talk. He desparately needed to connect to another human being. Truth is, we all have that same need. I don't have money. I'm not eloquent. Not terribly talented. All I really own is my humanity but it's a gift that can be given time and again without being depleted.
I learned a valuable lesson that day: our most basic human need from infancy to the grave is to know and truly believe that there's at least one other human being on this planet that cares for us for no particular reason at all; that someone sees "us", not our bank account, not our clothes, hairstyle, skin color or any of the other superficial expressions-just that we belong to the human race and that should be enough. We deserve to be loved.

I've never told anyone that story until now. Thanks for letting me share.

Touching and appropriate...




Semper

Semper,

That was wonderful and as it happens one of my favorite songs.

and this is really Gallopinghordes who forgot to log Seagull out again.

[edit on 27-10-2007 by seagull]

Thanks each and everyone of you for your post whether they be words or music.
I'm one of those who have tried ending it once before. I have no friends, no support group, no time or money for much of a life anyway. I think about it just about everyday. I'm living by mistake I believe. I'm a totally usless person.
I'd type more right now but I'd like to try to enjoy the cheap noodles I'm eating here alone while my wife is out enjoying good food and times with her friends.
Ask me what you will or ban me from posting again. I've nothing to hide.