why would a woman say this to another woman?

i think i am bugging myself out.

my wife recently aquired a new friend through work. a lady that was filling in for another.
now she lives in toledo and is no longer filling in but my wife and her have been talking a lot. tonight after my wife went to bed, he cell kept buzzing and it was annoyong me and it said 3 missed texts so i hit yes to make sure it wasn't from dad or something and i looked at the most recent one.

it said
"i am sorry i didn't get to talk to you today. i miss you terrible"
does it seem strange that she would word it like that? now, either i am really tripping ot i am putting it together. i have been feeling like she has been more distant from me lately. the past few weeks her phone has been on vibrate instead of her ringer and she goes in the basement every not and again when talking to this lady.
now, what is the deal here?
my wife and i have had/have a great relationship. this type of thoughts have never even entered my head till now and even now i am not sure if they are just.

see what i am getting at though?

also, the text before that said "i hope i didn't get you in any trouble"
now, i can only assume she means me. now here is another thing that was not strange till today. they are supposed to go hang monday cause my wife said this girl is gonna be in town. she lives about 90 minutes away from us. now i am starting to think she is coming in town just to see my wife.

i am going out of my head cause this can not be happening but man, saying something like i miss you terrible just seems like something someone would say to someone else that have maybe been intimate with or are building up to that.

please trply to this thread throughout the night...

my wife and i talk about everything(i hope) and i am going to bring this up tomorrow i just don't know what to say.
don't want to make with the accusations. i think i am gonnas ask her first what she would think if a woman or a person said that phrase to another and then if she sayd what i think it means, i will ask her why this girl said it to her in a text.

i really do not feeling like this. i don't want these thoughts in my head but lately, i have just felt like something is wrong....

please reply to this.

thanks a bunch. i need some feedback

You're going to talk to her about it? That's never easy.

Don't be blunt, but at the same time don't beat around the bush.
Approach her by asking about her friend, then when she tells you what she feels you should know ask how good of friends they are. If she gets suspicious as to your motives at this point, thats when you can get blunt. Straight up ask her. Tell her you thought it was from someone else and you want to know about it.

I think, honestly, they just became good friends.

i don't know man, 'miss you terrible just rings odd to me?
in that 'miss you' context it seems like a romantic thing. not like 'i feel terrible your friend got cancer' you know?

i will sleep on this but we will talk tomorrow. i need to think about the approach.

I have said all those things, to friends.

If your worried ask her, until you find a txt saying " your a fantastic lover"

Not " i had a great night last night"

(could have been for drinks!)

Nothing there would worry me, but obviously you are, so ask her straight out.

So question, has your wife ever had a female relationship before to your knowledge?

hi

trust is a big thing in a relationship and I would be upset if my guy read through my texts. Perhaps your concern might lead to bigger problems.

how is your partner going to feel if she finds out you read her sms?

good luck

It is entirely possible that her friend is lonely in the new city and misses her terribly. I have a dear friend that I talk to (not every day but at least twice a week) and the last thing I usually say to her is 'Thanks for calling. I miss you so much'.

It doesn't mean we're having some sort of lesbian love affair or that we ever will, it means I miss her and all the good times we used to have before she moved away.

I can understand your worry, but i tell my friends, men and women i miss them terribly all the time and end every call with "I love you"

My husband knows this is the way i am so he doesnt blink when he hears me talking like that!

I think you should question her a little (not gestapo like) and ask if she also misses her friend and i would offer to arrange for her to come to your house.

Women say those things all the time!

lol I just remembered an email I sent to one of my friends...anyone else who might have read it would have thought something so wrong...

Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2007 8:06 AM
Subject: email


Hi XXX!

Oh wow, last night I dreamt of you. We caught up and had oral sex!! Lol and then I wake up and there is an email from you regarding feminist porn perspective… lmao.

It was funny, I went to the hills but had no where to stay… to have oral sex with you! oh how freaky…but we managed eventually. Oh lmao anyone reading this email would definitely get the wrong idea… ha ha ha.

Anyway, the dream makes sense now. I have been meaning to catch up for a while but time just flies.....

Now, lmao... please don't get the wrong idea...

This just proves women discuss anything...even weird nightmares LOL

We still laugh over it!!

thanls for the imput guys. i was not going through her texts. it kept vibrating and i looked so it would stop. she does that to mine too. no big deal there.

this is one of 3 texts that came within like 40 minutes of each other and it just was strange the way she worded it.
one of the other 3 said " i hope i didn't get you in any kind of trouble"

as to my wife with a woman, no...we have pretty open dialague and she has always sid no

I think you're fine man. Nothing to worry about. Tell them to get in the kitchen and start frying up some ! Er...no that's not a good thing to say...sorry.

But in the event your wife has some attraction to her, she might want to include you. Isn't that most males fantasy?

I really don't see anything to worry about. I think you may be putting more weight then needed on the phrasing. My girlfriends and I tell each other hey I really missed you when we're gone 1 day. It's just a girlfriend thing. I've also been known to tell my male friends I missed you lots while you were gone. Believe that phrase means nothing sexual. I won't worry about it.

Here's what you do. Go get some really smutty girl on girl porn. Put the dvd into the player, but don't start it. Leave the TV off. Then, take your wife out and get her tequila drunk and when she's good and liquored up, take her home. When yall are sitting on the couch, turn on the tv and dvd player and see how she reacts. If she is repulsed, then I wouldn't worry, but if she wants to leave it on, then confront her.

Diss...

That might not work.

My wife and I watch women all the time. She points out the attractive ones to me. That doesn't mean she's attracted to them.

We've done the same thing with videos at home, G on G, no problem, we just watch it and move on.

we talked. it threw her for a loop too. she called her and told her that she made her uncomfortable and not to call her anymore.

done and done.

communication is key

Women do say things like that to each other, and it may never have anything to do with more than just a friendship.

Women can deal with all that ooey gooey stuff between friends better than men can.

well maybe the other girl was trying to start stuff

and was attracted to your wife, while your wife was not attracte to her

it is probably a technique some low lives use if they were trying to start some stuff and hope the wife's reponse is "why did you look at my text"!
and then look for comfort from the friend who admire's her more than she knows

I don't know how old your wife is, but there are times when a woman needs another woman to lean on...they know how you are feeling with various ups and downs in your life because they have experienced it themselves. For me, as a woman approaching 40, my baby is almost grown, and I have a lot of things knawing at me. For half of my life, I've been everything to everyone in my family, and I got lost in there somewhere. Does that make any sense? That's when a good friend can come along and reach out a hand and help pick another woman up....because a man can't be that hand in a time like that. I have the same problem at my house right now, I need my friends to lean on and because of it, my husband is running about acting like I'm having an affair. For me personaly, his insecurities are to the point that my every move is being watched. But it's not helping me any, it is pushing my away...and fast too... it's making me crave solidarity right now!

I feel bad for your wife if you've made her feel uncomfortable to the point that she had to ditch her friend for you. I've said those things to my friends too, in fact I think I'll call my best friend today and tell her how I miss her terribly. I can even tell her how much I love her...there is nothing sexual about that! I hope everything works out for you guys, really I mean that I probably just told you more than you care to know, but it's true, and things men don't consider because it's something a man can't possibly understand. You did ask for input

All I know is that I almost have an empty nest at my house, and it's forcing me to spend more time with my husband when for the past 20 years I've spent all that time caring for my children, while he was doing what-ever...and you know what? I feel like I don't really know my husband anymore...sad but true. It's a weird, somber, panicky and discomforting feeling.
Edit* to add




[edit on 7/15/2007 by jensouth31]

"i am sorry i didn't get to talk to you today. i miss you terrible"

well it could be innocent although none of my girlfriends talk to me quite that way however we say I love you and stuff like that.