Misunderstandings is Everywhere! How can we reduce it?

Warning:It's a long post
BTW misunderstandings is also pretty common outside of ATS as well.
Ok Denying Ignorance is 1 way & looking at a situation in different perspectives is another way,but it doesn't seem to be enough.

hmmmm perhaps making assumptions too often and/or too soon is another factor that could lead to misunderstandings.

Jumping to conclusions does seem pretty easy to do,yet that can cause confusion.

One of the really tough things is that some of the things we see here on this site can be:disturbing,evil,cruel,etc.It's understandable to try to not know anything about that,but I wonder if there is ANYTHING useful that we could learn from a "evil" perspective.Like for example:An old man kills a kid just for the fun of it.People would tend to ignore it or say bad things about that old man or say things like"That old man should know better!"or even try to kill the old man.But say someone DID look at the old man's perspective and found out something(s).Say I chose to look at his perspective,so that I could find some possibilities of why he did what he did.But some would say he is just a monster,unless they look & consider the possibilities of why he did it.
Some possibilities:He has a history of killing kids,He hated kids for a long time & finally decides to kill one,He was mentally retarded,Earlier he got hit on the head & it affected parts of his brain,He was near his death & decides to kill someone to see what it was like,He was drunk & thought he was killing someone else,or he was forced to kill that kid & pretended to enjoy the whole thing.
Not ALL of the possibilities seemed pure evil,yet some might get too emotional and/or judgmental about it.

NOW here is something that is REALLY bugging me(& other people I bet)& that is "Irony".Irony can really confuse us if you know what I mean.I'll put a conversation as an example:
Geekster:I've decided to support the Iraq War!

Me: (Thinking Geekster's a conspirator or has connections to some conspirators or knows something I don't)So you don't support the troops that much huh?

Geekster:WHAT!!!NO!I actually support the troops MORE than the Iraq War!!!WHY did you ask that?

Me: (Thinks Geekster is lying)Oh nothing,I just think the War is meaningless.

Geekster:But President Bush said that there are Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq!!

Me: (Looks into Geekster's eyes & can tell that Geekster isn't lying AT ALL)The WMDs are already gone.

Geekster:WHAT!Wait A Minute!WAIT A MINUTE!How do you know that?

Me: (Becomes confused)

Geekster: (Gets suspicious of Me)

You see!!I thought Geekster was a intelligence and dangerous fellow so I got suspicious,but I later found out that Geekster wasn't really intelligent & wasn't really a conspirator as I thought he was.I was thinking that Geekster was smart enough to know about the REAL purpose of the Iraq War,but he doesn't seem to know.I then got confused about that since I assumed he was smart enough to figure it out.THEN Geekster got suspicious of ME and thought that I would know something that Geekster doesn't know.
Oh how I HATE Irony

Anyway,comments,ideas,suggestions or even questions for me?

[edit on 11-2-2007 by tormentor]

I can offer this advice. When dealing with a heated issue, write out your post in notepad. Read it over a couple of times, and edit it as needed for "clarity", before you post it.

If you post it then realize that something that you posted was not clear, or could be misconstrued, then you can always edit. But when you do that in a heated discussion, make a note at the bottom of that post, that the post was edited for clarity. Otherwise it could be interpretted as "changing the context of your post".

Another thing you can do if you are caught up in a heated discussion, is to step back for a few moments before you post again, and reflect on the points that you want to make.

Another thing I have done, is to not even enter threads where a heated discussion is in progress. Sometimes it is better to wait under those conditions.

2 cents

edited for clarity.


edit to add:

Also it would be wise to never assume anything about another member. You recall what they say about assumptions? That you make an A** out of U and ME...

You can always ask about what is unclear to you, you may not get the answer that you hope for, but at least you had asked.

[edit on 2/11/2007 by Mechanic 32]

[edit on 2/11/2007 by Mechanic 32]

tormentor, life would be so much better if people would just stop and look at things in a different prospective, but its never going to happen its human nature to jump to conclusions. if you hadn’t already noticed it gets even worse when there are groups of people together. say one person has an opinion then it seems like every one blindly follows the one that had the balls to say anything. i guess what I’m trying to say is there’s really no way to fix how the human mind has been programmed to work over the years so maybe instead of trying to fix it we should find a way to cope with it. if that makes any sense at all.

Hmm I believe one of the reasons is because people are impatient,they want to get to the point & not focus on the steps needed to be taken that leads to the point.Those steps can be complex,hard & boring IMHO.If the mind is programmed that way(Do I smell a conspiracy?),then maybe we must find an alternative way of thinking.

Like Mechanic said, I believe the best way to avoid or fix misunderstandings/disputes is to take a few moments before continuing post.

The next major thing that we can do to avoid problems caused by misunderstandings is to avoid attacking others' personalities. It's fine and dandy to make factual points in a debate, but these are other people you're dealing with; they have feelings too. Look into their post as a whole and attempt to look at the situation as they are.

Remember to discuss things in a civilized manner. Try and be more mature than others. If you feel as if someone is personally attacking you, point it out, they may not notice; but, don't attack back.

Don't ignore parts of posts because you don't agree on them. If you're being biased, admit it; if someone is being biased towards you, give factual information about the subject to get the point across. You have to be able to admit when you are wrong. Be ready to apologize during a heated debate; also be ready to forgive and forget. If someone makes some great points, show them some appreciation; wouldn't you want the same thing? It's cliché, but treat others as you wish to be treated..

We post in real time, thus as someone said, it may be a good idea to write something out in notepad and review it for clarity on your part, or wait to post it until you have simmered down, or until you read more of another's personal perspective to better understand it first-rather than jumping to conclusions and jumping to post in reply.

The bottom line is: Communication on the boards should follow the rules of effective communication in any venue. It should be made respectfully. This goes for anywhere on the Internet, but especially here on ATS, because this is the superior site of it's kind, which sets the standard for all others striving to be more like it.

Posters here should communicate with respect, courtesy, and with the added understanding that one's tone, or sarcasm, or humor may be difficult to discern, and thus something offensive to you should be politely questioned for clarification instead of jumping to conclusions that it was meant to offend, or meant to be taken in the offensive way you pereceived it as.

If, after clarification, you choose to be offended indeed, then just as you have the choice and right to be offended, you have the right and choice to continue to communicate effectively and respectfully, or to stoop to their level and try to offend them as well, or...just to ignore them and move along.

Sometimes it's all in good fun I'd think to *have it out* on less serious subjects though, to razz one another, etc...and a good sense of humor is ALWAYS handy to have.