Guaranteed good luck in the new year!

I sure hope you all remembered to do this.

My wife and I had us a mess of Wiccans stored in our shed next to the trailer and I let them loose the day prior. Boy, I’ve never seen such a hoop’n and holler’n going on. A couple of them got caught up underneath the trailer but, my wife being at the ready with a cattle prod made shure that they didn’t linger about. God forbid anyone of us let one of those cross eyed, mono browed, Wicca practicing, reheaded females get near our front door let alone into the house!


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The first person to enter your home after the stroke of midnight will influence the year you're about to have. Ideally, he should be dark-haired, tall, and good-looking, and it would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts such as a lump of coal, a silver coin, a bit of bread, a sprig of evergreen, and some salt. Blonde and redhead first footers bring bad luck, and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don't let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold.

The first footer (sometimes called the "Lucky Bird") should knock and be let in rather than unceremoniously use a key, even if he is one of the householders. After greeting those in the house and dropping off whatever small tokens of luck he has brought with him, he should make his way through the house and leave by a different door than the one through which he entered. No one should leave the premises before the first footer arrives — the first traffic across the threshold must be headed in rather than striking out.

First footers must not be cross-eyed or have flat feet or eyebrows that meet in the middle.

Nothing prevents the cagey householder from stationing a dark-haired man outside the home just before midnight to ensure the speedy arrival of a suitable first footer as soon as the chimes sound. If one of the partygoers is recruited for this purpose, impress upon him the need to slip out quietly just prior.

Guaranteed good luck in the new year!