New member intro, direction?

Hello everyone, I'm a long time lurker but a first time poster (as I'm sure you've read countless times before!). I felt it right to post in this forum, because I'd like everyone's opinion on some feelings I've been having for a while. The area/college town in which I live isn't really involved in "metaphysics," per se, and there's virtually no one to talk to about this subject in real-time.

First, I'll explain a bit about my paranormal history, from which I found out over a casual dinner at Friday's with my grandparents and girlfriend .

My grandparents (whom I lived with since birth) told me that as a young kid (about 2-3) I was very perceptive - singing various songs I would rarely hear on the TV, pointing out directions to places, identifying various things, speaking/reading at a young age, etc. When I was 3, I'm told, my uncle (grandmother's closest brother) had died...and this is where it get's a bit unnerving.

My grandmother said that I would "talk" to Ronnie (her deceased brother), and would always tell my grandmother things that Ronnie would say, like "it's okay," and how much he misses her. My aunt tells me that I would tell my grandmother things often discribing events and such that I could not have possibly known, ie. about a time that they were in Ohio in school together, etc. I would ask these questions, and she had no idea where I was getting the information from, and I would tell her that Ronnie told me. I have no recollection of this.

Often at night when I'm walking from my driveway into my grandparents house (or other places), or if I'm alone, I get the feeling like there are various presences I cannot perceive. When I lay in bed, and this is only at my grandparents' house, I feel a bit "unnerved," and I often sit up and look around the room because I feel a presence, or multiple presences. I feel very "sensitive," if that makes any sense. I'm told that the lady who owned the house before my grandparents died in the half-bathroom, which place-for-place puts it right off of my bedroom, and some of my friends refuse to go to that bathroom because it's "creepy." I find it hard to sleep at my grandparents house.

During my first year of college, about three years ago, I was very intrigued about metaphysics, and did extensive research. I work at a library, so I read often in the "new age," "philosophy," and "psychology" sections, but mainly I hang on the internet for my job, and read forums

I've tried meditating, but I always end up falling asleep, or not "feeling" anything...I just lay there, and I can't actually "see" anything, although I attempt to visualize. The image just isn't concrete, but I can discribe in great detail what I wanted to visualize.

Any thoughts or feelings? I'm hoping someone can guide me down the path I need to be to further my paranormal/metaphysical aspect of my life, which I feel could very well be a big part.

Well, about meditation and so on, i think a brief search in this forum, on the Net or in the library you work in should provide enough informations and exercises to train yourself.
You may also consider the idea of practicing some Yoga, since it may give you several benefits in short time, too.

Right now i can give you only a hint. Easy to write, but probably the hardest to follow.

Trust your feelings and sensations.

I've learnt it first person. It's not easy, because when you feel a certain "something" you keep trying to rationalyze, you keep going on like "man, it's just my impression, my mind playing tricks". And you stop trusting your feelings, or unwillingly modify the sensation you've had.

Pay attention to what you feel, accept it without trying to rationalyze. Remember it, and see what happends next. This way you'll get used to discern between your sensations, and your mind tricks. This way you'll learn to understand your feelings, to understand what your subconscious mind is telling you (and IF it's telling you something or not), and you'll manage to learn how to trust it.

You'll notice you're feelings are going to be more and more often right, precise, deeper, gaining many "gradiendts" you weren't able to perceive before... well, from this point on you'll be able to proceed on your own.

I think the most important part of it all is being aware of such sensations. Personally, i begun paying attention to them since i was very young. Can't remember the exact age, but for several years (more or less until the age of 15) i was spending my time either with my grandparents, or at home with my parents. Very seldom i had the chance of meeting friends (just one or maybe two afternoons per week, during the weekend), so i had a lot of time to spend with myself.

Well, i noticed that some "sensations" (i'm using brackets because they were a certain type of sensation... can't explain with words, but when you feel it you know) often proved to be correct.
At first i didn't pay much attention to this, but through time i asked myself whether it was just a mere coincindence or not, so i decided to pay attention to them, and slowly became more and more "attuned".

Well, i'm not going in particular details, but i can assure you that i'm happy i decided that way, because such "sensations" have helped me in many many many occasions.

One last thing... you wrote that you felt some odd "presences"... probably you felt right. There's nothing odd or nothing bad. It's just that "normal" people have long forgotten how to do it.

First, thanks for your insight! I know there's something, a lot more, to this. Sometimes I feel a bit "disconnected" from the world, if that makes any sense. I've searched through the ATS forums, and others, and have came up with a variety of methods, etc. of personal relaxation/discovery and so forth. Ultimately, I'll be looking deeper into these in the very near future.

I suppose being mindful of perception, and "feeling" the "sensations" as a normal station will be key to further comprehension. So, what do I do in these situations? I think tonight when I come home at 3am I'll take my time to the door

Just don't be forceful and don't anger with yourself if your first attempts aren't successful. Follow your rythm as you'd follow a wave while surfing. Try, fail, learn, retry and don't give up, because sooner or later things will become clear (and, obviously, the more you understand and learn, the more you'll need -and want- to undrestand and learn..!!! )

Just a little update...Before coming into work today I asked my grandmother about the situation about "talking with her brother." She told me that the day that he died, and she didn't find out until the next day, that I asked her "When Ronnie is born again, will he know me?"

I find it hard to digest that a 3-4 year old can fully grasp the concept of reincarnation, but you know what they say, 'kids say the darndist things!'.

But what about this "sensitive perception" deal? Is this pseudo-normal? I've been told it's just overactive imaginative paranoia, but I figured I would delve into the possibilities first.

The problem is that our society "barinwashes" us, leading us to believe that some thing are just hoaxes and junk. In many cases that's true, because many people exploit the unexplainable, but in others it isn't.

When we're children we haven't been "programmed" yet, so we're able to see and do things normal people wouldn't expect. But then, as soon as possible, our parents, our relatives, our friends, everyone tires to "print" in our minds that the paranormal does not exist.

Since we're young, very young, we almost automatically believe them, we start thinking they are right and we are wrong, that it was just our imagination. This kind of "spamming" happened and still happends every day, and goes deep into our subconscious, impairing our capabilities.

So, everyone that surround us is evil and bad? No. Simply, they've long forgotten many capabilities, probably because they feel they don't need them any more. Let's think about telepathy: today we've got mails, phones, cell phones, e-mails, video conferences, sms, viedo-calls from cell phones... why should the average guy spend weeks, months or even years to learn something, when he can just push a couple of buttons (or just clearly say a name in the microphone if his cellular) and viedo call the desired peron?!

Allow me to do a little metaphor, sometimes some of us have the chance of choosing between the Blue or the Red Pill. And when you start seeing too many coincidences, when you hear stories about one of your relatives being a medium and when you find yourself mind-controlled by one of your friends, or in your case when looking back at some "odd" occourrences, well i think it's quite obvious which pill to choose.