My dad wrote the book on ornery!

These are true stories about my dad, who died 5 years ago.
***

About 25 years ago, my dad and my uncle (mother's younger brother) went to go see "Cruisin'," which I'm told was a movie about these gay bikers.

My uncle is in a motorcycle club, the Detroit Renegades.

At any rate, he was wearing his "colors" when they went to see it, and when they were coming out, my uncle told my dad he had to go to the bathroom. Now keep in mind my uncle is a real man's man.

So my dad tells him in a really swishy voice, "I'll wait for you right here, honey!" or something to that effect. Now no one was looking at my dad--they were looking at my uncle!

My uncle told him, "You do that again and I'll kill you!" My dad was laughing the entire time.

***

One time my parents went to the grocery store, in Mom's old 1990 Cavalier station wagon. Mom went into the store by herself, and when she came back, Dad was sitting in the back, liftgate up. He had an ice-scraper that looked like a stuffed animal, and he was waving it at people! I can imagine Mom slapping her hand against her forehead!

***

My dad was a real speed demon, and one time he was shooting down Woodward Avenue, doing 70 in a 35 zone. Cop stopped him, turned out to be a friend of his.

All Dad got was a "Bob, you know better than that!"


***

I'm sure you hate it when you're driving through a parking lot and people step out right in front of you, don't even look, and you have to slam on your brakes. That happened to my dad one time, and I was riding with him. Except it wasn't the brake he slammed on--it was the gas pedal! I don't think I've ever seen ANYONE run that fast!

Ahhh, you have my sympathy.......my Dad was like that!!

When I learned to drive, he bought me the crappiest car I'd ever seen.....one of the many times it broke down and stranded me, was on the road he used when coming home from work. After waiting about an hour, I could see him coming toward me........he waved and just kept right on going!!!

When I wanted to go to the city swimming pool, I first had to agree to walk to the health dept. to get a series of typhoid shots. After I endured weeks of a painfully sore arm, he told me I still was not allowed to get in the water "untill I learned how to swim"!!!! And he wasn't kidding!!!

omg my dad is like tht...and he was a police officer!!! LOL but he doesn't speed..or break ne laws for tht matter but hes still funny and i like the story about hitting the gas pedal ..lol