So there's this guy at work.

- Who I really, really like. I have been liking him for a really long time now (for me), and I think this might turn into something special.

Here's the thing; I am considered flirty (Not my opinion though, but the people around me. I am not afraid to talk about sex, masturbation or any other 'taboo' subjects. I think guys consider me as one of them, thus they do not like me that way) and I like to talk.

For the last month or so, I've been pulling out the 'large arsenals' to make him understand that I'm interested. You know, looking him in the eyes longer than normal, open bodylanguage, special smiles, touching and so forth and so on. I don't really know him that well, but I love his eyes and his voice ad I do think we could work on several levels.

Lately, he's been acting like he's 'on to me', giving me stares back, teasing me, seeking me out at work and stuff. Smiling at me for no reason, plus some of the looks he gives me are signs that he might be signalizing the same to me.

Could it be that he's just too shy to actually do something about it? I should add that we don't have each other's phonenumbers either, but I would love advice as to how to get it.

This guy has me going crazy, but I'm too shy to do anything about it! What happened to guys taking the initiative? What I'm asking for is advice on how to get him. Would further hinting help here?

Man....We're tired of always having to take the initiative....

Maybe he is shy and maybe he isn't, but if he's interested in you, he'll eventually come out and say something.....Maybe he'll ask you out on a date...

But honestly, if you can't wait and you think you two would work well together, and since you enjoy socializing, simply ask him out yourself and see what his reaction is....

Be like, "HEY! There's this great new movie out...(ie..Sin City would be a good one to pick...hehe)...Lemme get your cell phone number and I'll call you this weekend and see if you can make plans to come with me...maybe we can catch a late dinner afterwards"...

Badda bing! No guy could say no.....If he says he's washing his hair that weekend...well.....

I wish I had the same problem as this fellow.....

You made it sound so natural and casual, but I'm not sure if I could do that.

Maybe suggesting going out as a group would work? We both get paid friday, so 'I can't afford it' would be an excuse he couldn't use. So if I get some people we both know to go, I could make my move while out and drunk? It would certainly be easier...

Any idea as to how I can hint further, though? I can feel he's ripe, I just don't know if he's picked up that like him that way.

Maybe I should mention that he winked at me last week. It looked involuntarily, like he just thought of what it would be like doing it, and he just did it. My mum meant he must've gotten some sort of tic or something, but later mentioned that he was looking at my butt when she came to visit me at work.

[edit on 4/4/2005 by Rattus Norvegicus]

Hehe....Well - I'm certainly not usually that suave myself, but the "ball's out" approach (pardon the phrase ) has worked before....

Getting a bunch of friends together is always a good idea....Work friends are always a good crowd to go out with b/c they usually see enough of you already that they don't want to spend TOO much time together ...That would leave the door open for many a drunken escapade during the twilight hours....

Hinting at an advance he made at you several days ago may put him on the spot or make him feel uncomfortable....Kinda like, hey - you're just noticing?

All men check out all asses....I don't care if it's a fifteen year old cheerleader or a fifty year old woman with cottage cheese....They all get starred at by near every man....lol.....What matters is the LENGTH of the stare.....If he just can't look anywhere else, then you've got a winner

I dunno....I still think just flat out approaching him's the best bet....You don't always have to do it so fast though....Get to know him a little during breaks - Ask him what he did over the weekend....Show him you're interested, and then maybe he'll be the one to make that first move....

just go in there after him, guys dont seek you out, smile at you and all forno reason, he likes you so just make the move.

Okay. I don't work today, but we open together tomorrow (we're both AMs) and close together the day after tomorrow, so I will try to get some alonetime with him. It's just that whenever I talk to him, words won't come out of my mouth and I blush. I just don't know what to say!

Any tips on conversationtopics?

I was going to give the same advice as EnronOutrunHomerun.

If you work together, and come in around the same time, how about suggesting going to lunch together? "Hey, wanna grab a bite to eat? I was thinking of going to (insert restaurant here), but I hate eating alone, wanna join me?"

If he goes, then talk about movies you want to see, and then follow the advice above...no problem!

yes, this is true also. ok, we have the basics down. he likes you, its obvious. u like him. so ask him out to the movies, and I am about 99.999999% sure he likes you, and asking him out to the movies on a Friday night after work, if u put it that way, it sounds like a date, so its a very indirect way of saying to him "I like you, so do u like me" so no hard feelings this way, if u word it right about the movies, with an obvious "its just u and me" and he bites, hes all yours

This is OT, but I would urge you to knock off the flirting and sex talk at work. Many people, such as myself, find this offensive. No I am not a prude, but I really cannot stand this behavior in the workplace. A business is not a club, OK?

I am sure you will see my point when you become known as the office slut (looks like you're halfway there already), your career hits the toilet, and some fat old gross guy starts hitting on you.

People who perpetuate sex talk in the workplace make it hard for the rest of us.
Take it off site.

I am editing this to add: I looked at your profile, you were born in 1982? OK honey your still basically a teenager. All you know of life so far is that crap you have seen on TV and your giggly young girlfriends. Now I know why all 'the guys' consider you flirty. Trust me, it is not YOU they want, its your p*ssy they want. Your age and your actions make you look like an easy lay. Take it from me, I've been there. Believe me, I am not rapping you-I am trying to give you something to think over and maybe spare yourself a big mess.

Meet other guys. I have a rule: I NEVER date guys I work with. Never. Might do a little socializing, but that's it. If they really have 'feelings' for me, they can wait, I ain't screwing up my job. If you want to go places with your career: You ALWAYS act as a professional on the job! You act like an old shoolmarm/librarian. Don't disucss sex things. At all.
In any case, I mean this as solid advice, not a rap. Good luck.

[edit on 6-4-2005 by Niki]

TextThis is OT, but I would urge you to knock off the flirting and sex talk at work. Many people, such as myself, find this offensive. No I am not a prude, but I really cannot stand this behavior in the workplace. A business is not a club, OK?

you sound like aright laugh to work with!!.....where is it you work?.....a slaughter house?

Niki has it correct. You dont crap where you work. The liabilities of things going bad if it doesnt work out are high. If you really need the job dont ruin it with a relationship at work. Furthermore ..what kind of airhead..male or female hunts where they work? As if they have no other life or potential that they must mix the two.
I see this womans gear ticking over like the primordial "hunter gatherer" gathering men. Lol lol lol.
H0w to get a man to chase you at work without looking to much like you want to get caught.lol lol. It is unprofessional and hard up. Like guys are a commodity in short supply out there. It makes me wonder what real life skills Rattus is really integrated into.
Just some food for serious thought
Orangetom

Well, in familiar surroundings, like work, school, etc. you get to know the REAL person, and not their dating facade, etc. So I can see the reasoning there. Yes, there are risks of course with dating in the workplace...but a lot of that depends on the job.

There are just as many phoneys at work as out on the street. Its just a matter of learning ..no matter what the enviornment...to see past all the confetti.
However ..in a work enviornment ..one exposes oneself to a different set of vulnurabilities. If it doesnt work out and the seperation is unpleasant ..one can just imagaine if the participants are not very mature. Especially if you need the job. That is my main point. I know so many men and woman who hunt and gather on the job..amazing to me.

Thanks
Orangetom

Originally posted by Rattus Norvegicus
This guy has me going crazy, but I'm too shy to do anything about it! What happened to guys taking the initiative? What I'm asking for is advice on how to get him. Would further hinting help here?

What are you after? If it's sex, then you are worth more than that. You should be looking for someone you care about who will be a friend through good times and really bad things that happen in life. Someone could be attractive physically (and this is the first thing people notice)but who they really are can make them very "unattractive" once you know them. I think you could ask him to a movie or dinner but don't sell yourself to get someone by giving yourself to them. You want to find someone who wants to be with you no matter what you are doing.

Save yourself for someone who CARES about you and is going to committ to you forever.

RM, if you both are on the same 'wave length' just play it cool at work and lunch.
And if he ever sneezes, be the first to give him 'that' look and say "prosit"

OR
you could go with Enron's 'theory'

Hehe....Well - I'm certainly not usually that suave myself, but the "ball's out" approach (pardon the phrase

) has worked before....

Sanc'.