Blaming our parents for whats wrong with us and blaming God for whats wrong in the world

God is a mirror in our minds. When you say it is difficult for you to believe that God loves you this feeling comes from the following. I once heard a comedian say to the people in the audience, "You want to scare yourself. Think about this. You are not like your parents. YOU ARE YOUR PARENTS." It was a pretty funny bit but it's really true. We really are a carbon copy of each of our parents put into a blender. So when we hate our mother or hate our father this is because we see ourselves in our parents. The reason for this hatred is because our parent's weaknesses are our own weaknesses. And we hate ourselves for our own weaknesses! And we hate our parents for not being strong where they have weaknesses.

Of course our parents also give us our strengths. But since those are good we just take those for granted. Most people go through their whole lives with self-hatred because they cannot reconcile their own weaknesses. For some people, however, with a little psychological awareness there comes a point when you see your parents more like children than Gods. You begin to forgive them for their weaknesses. After all, your parents are really just your grandparent's put into a blender. And most grandparents are off-the-wall and insane! So your parents are only as strong and weak as their parents.

Assuming you get past the first stage of finding peace with who you are as a result of being born from your parents, the next step is existence. Everyone eventually gets the equation we are all sons and daughters of the same first two human beings. We all share the same parents at some point back in time. And it goes all the way back to God who created the first human beings. Let's not get technical about how God created human beings. Whether God created human beings by miracle, or by evolution, or by a social construct created through the invention of language, it doesn't really matter. The point is God created all of us with weaknesses and imperfections.

So many people will hate God for their own imperfections. It's only when you begin to realize everyone has imperfections. And nature itself is a wild roller coaster ride of unimaginable possibilities because of imperfections. Then you can see our imperfections are actually our greatest strengths as human beings. Then you will see imperfections in nature is what makes nature so interesting. Then you will forgive God. Once you forgive God for your own imperfections you will open up a space to see God in your mirror without any dirt. At that point, you will accept that even you, no matter what your imperfections may be, are just as deserving of God's infinite love as every other piece of existence and consciousness God is responsible for bringing into being.

I don't believe in god and I don't blame my parents for my f@ck ups only my own sorry @ss...
Am I special?

originally posted by: szino9
I don't believe in god and I don't blame my parents for my f@ck ups only my own sorry @ss...
Am I special?

God is just a word. Nobody denies the existence of God. What the word God means for you is a subjective choice made on your part. So you are just fine the way you are.

My post was really meant for people who are trying to aspire to be more divine than they currently self-criticize themselves to be. It was not directed to people such as yourself.

It's a sign of immaturity to blame others, or fail to recognise the randomness of it all.

In some cases parents are to blame, but at some point a person has to make their own choices. Free will. For right, or wrong, the decisions people make are theirs alone.

Where does God come into this. Well, perhaps He's the randomness in all of this. The unknowns. The good, or bad luck. The toss of the coin. Both the car that beaks down on the way to the dream job, thus leading to failure, or the fact the car got you there and you were successful.

One thing's for sure though. There is a greater inclination to for people to blame others for misfortune, than for the average bloke to sit down, have a cry, get up and move on. Blame's so easy. Self reflection is just too hard.

originally posted by: dfnj2015
God is a mirror in our minds. When you say it is difficult for you to believe that God loves you this feeling comes from the following. I once heard a comedian say to the people in the audience, "You want to scare yourself. Think about this. You are not like your parents. YOU ARE YOUR PARENTS." It was a pretty funny bit but it's really true. We really are a carbon copy of each of our parents put into a blender. So when we hate our mother or hate our father this is because we see ourselves in our parents. The reason for this hatred is because our parent's weaknesses are our own weaknesses. And we hate ourselves for our own weaknesses! And we hate our parents for not being strong where they have weaknesses.

Of course our parents also give us our strengths. But since those are good we just take those for granted. Most people go through their whole lives with self-hatred because they cannot reconcile their own weaknesses. For some people, however, with a little psychological awareness there comes a point when you see your parents more like children than Gods. You begin to forgive them for their weaknesses. After all, your parents are really just your grandparent's put into a blender. And most grandparents are off-the-wall and insane! So your parents are only as strong and weak as their parents.

Assuming you get past the first stage of finding peace with who you are as a result of being born from your parents, the next step is existence. Everyone eventually gets the equation we are all sons and daughters of the same first two human beings. We all share the same parents at some point back in time. And it goes all the way back to God who created the first human beings. Let's not get technical about how God created human beings. Whether God created human beings by miracle, or by evolution, or by a social construct created through the invention of language, it doesn't really matter. The point is God created all of us with weaknesses and imperfections.

So many people will hate God for their own imperfections. It's only when you begin to realize everyone has imperfections. And nature itself is a wild roller coaster ride of unimaginable possibilities because of imperfections. Then you can see our imperfections are actually our greatest strengths as human beings. Then you will see imperfections in nature is what makes nature so interesting. Then you will forgive God. Once you forgive God for your own imperfections you will open up a space to see God in your mirror without any dirt. At that point, you will accept that even you, no matter what your imperfections may be, are just as deserving of God's infinite love as every other piece of existence and consciousness God is responsible for bringing into being.

Let's simplify this whole thing......

1. God doesn't exist.

2. Our parents are to blame for our very existence. Everything that happens after that happens because they put us here. If you took a zillion pound bowling ball and gave it a big push with some kind of a machine and it went through the wall and destroyed a neighborhood, it would be your fault because you rolled the ball and should have known better.

See. Simple.

a reply to: dfnj2015

If you're blaming your parents, then they didn't do their job.

Mine started early walking me back through my choices and showing me how they led to my problems. We started early walking our son back and showing him how his choices led to his problems. This is part of parenting to show you children that actions have consequences.

If you think that God is any different with His children, then you haven't connected those simple things.

originally posted by: dfnj2015

originally posted by: szino9
I don't believe in god and I don't blame my parents for my f@ck ups only my own sorry @ss...
Am I special?

God is just a word. Nobody denies the existence of God. What the word God means for you is a subjective choice made on your part. So you are just fine the way you are.

My post was really meant for people who are trying to aspire to be more divine than they currently self-criticize themselves to be. It was not directed to people such as yourself.

. Lots of people don’t believe in God or especially your subjective version of it.

Where is the objective god?

What good is a subjective God? Other than giving people something to argue about. It gives people a way to make up subjective rules for others to live by. I’d say it’s only good for confusing people, and for people to virtue signal.

a reply to: Woodcarver

Oh come now woodie, reason it out like an adult

You are your own subjective god
You are a hardened atheist fundamentalist, you have no capacity to reason beyond your own simple mind
Nothing exists outside you! I am grateful you are not a Christian, you would be picketing gays and soldiers funerals

a reply to: dfnj2015

I honestly can't believe you got two flags and two stars for this.

I don't have a whole lot to add, and I try to avoid certain buzzwords, so take this as you will: this really "resonates" with me where I am in life. I've been having these same sorts of thoughts, but reading it all laid out and expanded is great reinforcement.

If you imagine how Hank Hill sometimes shudders in speech, that's how I say "resonate". If the reference lands.

a reply to: ketsuko

This is a simplistic answer that deserves exploration. What you're talking about is merely part of a larger picture, though.

Introducing children to the nature of consequences is great.

But the OP is talking about imperfections -- weaknesses -- passed from parents to child. Blind spots. The ones with which you and I are unwittingly and unintentionally programming our children right now, and will cause them to hate us at some point and possibly forever, if they have half a brain. That seems to be part of the process. The spectrum where this is concerned is pretty wide and people land where they land. Whatever.

Nonetheless, at a certain level of maturity, it is an appropriate part of the process to blame our parents for our weakness, because it can get us killed. And in states of fledgling awareness, we must immediately hate that which makes us vulnerable.

My two cents.

originally posted by: Raggedyman
a reply to: Woodcarver

Oh come now woodie, reason it out like an adult

You are your own subjective god
You are a hardened atheist fundamentalist, you have no capacity to reason beyond your own simple mind
Nothing exists outside you! I am grateful you are not a Christian, you would be picketing gays and soldiers funerals

I only ever see Christians doing those things. And I certainly do not think of myself as a God. I think you know very well that I support gays and soldiers. You can say whatever you want about me, but I always notice that you never engage in the conversation when it’s easier just to make up bull# about me.

How about you go back to that other thread and answer my questions in there. Or is it just easier to make up things here? How does your god feel about you lying about me? I guess he’s cool with it if you are. Since he is your subjective God.

a reply to: Woodcarver

Comprehension woodie, comprehension
I said I am glad you are not a Christian, you would be one of those hate filled fundamentalist Christians, that is what I think you would be if you proclaimed Christianity
I didn't say you are a Christian or you hated gays or soldiers
But you love playing the victim/ martyr role


No I won't waste my time answering your silly post, it's childish and so full of errors it's a joke

a reply to: DictionaryOfExcuses

Eventually, you grow out of that. Wisdom comes with it. You understand why your parents did what they did and are who they are. If you don't, then you are arrested in your development after all, you usually go through the hating your parents phase when you are trying to self-realize and define finally who you are and that comes with the arrogant assumption that you really do know best which is usually not true.

a reply to: dfnj2015

I really liked your post..............starred and flagged.

a reply to: dfnj2015

Your analysis is full of self importance and attachment to ego. Falling in love with God by falling in love with yourself by forgiving God by forgiving yourself by accepting God by accepting yourself.

There is no hate for god, only logical inconsistencies in a hypothesis which is easily falsified with basic household tools and techniques. Don't attempt to reduce that to petty motives and poor self esteem.

To a certain degree, the failings of the child CAN be blamed directly on the parent. I don't know about you guys, but neither myself nor my kids popped forth out of nothing from a vacuum with all necessary knowledge already known.

If a child chooses a life of drugs or crime despite the parents teaching them neither is acceptable and come with much hardship & dead ends, then the child does shoulder the blame. If the parents themselves live a life of drugs & crime, and never teach their child that they are not acceptable choices, then the blame is on the parents.

Same with not teaching the value of personal or work ethics. Kids don't come with those pre-installed like computer software.

Parents shirking taking responsibility for raising lousy kids is a huge part of the problem in this country, "I'm the parent, I know what is best. I CANNOT ERR." Oh yes you can, and you do.

Laying blame or praise on a mythological figure is just as bad. You sell yourself short & effectively OK not putting effort forth by owing successes to something else, and you avoid having to answer for failings by blaming something else for them. Humans either suck or succeed on our own, with what previous generations do or do not teach the young. Recognizing that & learning to utilize & grow from that is ALL that matters.

a reply to: Raggedyman

So, you are saying that if i started believing in things i don’t agree with, then i would start doing things that i currently don’t agree with?

You might be on to something there.

a reply to: ketsuko

Very much agree, and still, it is a necessary part of the process. Weird that there could be a right way to be wrong, right?

a reply to: Woodcarver

Exactly, you are a fundamentalist atheist
If you were a Christian you would be a fundamentalist christian

So please stay where you are, there are enough fundamentalist Christians around as it is

a reply to: Raggedyman

Well, I do love it when you tell me what I am, and what I think. It is my understanding that a fundamentalist Christian is one who believes and accepts the fundamental tenets of being a Christian. Such as that Christ is the son of God and that he died to Absolve people of their sins. Do I have that wrong somehow? It seems like you are defining fundamentalist as Someone who does bad things.


What do you mean by fundamentalist Christian?


What is the difference between an atheist and a fundamentalist atheist?

It is my understanding that an Atheist is someone who does not accept the claims that God exists.