Is Santa Clause really an Alien?

'Twas the night before Harvestmas and all through the chamber, not a criter was quagulating, not even a criptanger.

And me with my laser and mathh with her sclkkipxer, we're off to a crimpprty with mid snacktomlagger.



The birds have been killing me this week with their constant pooping and squalling whenever I stepped out.
Like a steak eating contest in the Congo, never knowing if you're chewing on your cabbies left side or is this truly Water Buffalo?

Another shot of death creeps into my inside sanctuary.

The bubbles. The bronzed tit of the $50 Bangkok. The next day hemorging. The shiny egg, over easy with a dash of Siracha.

Again with the waitress, same hooker from yesterday. Doesn't remember you or the time that her father spent the money for her tree house on his girlfriends credit card debt.
Or the ring that Fred, oh Fred! bought her on their one month dating anniversary that rusted in a weeks time and gave her tetnus that resulted in amputating the finger only to having it roboticly enhanced and reattached to be bitten off again later by Fred's loyal dog Bessy.

Oh sweet memories of bacon and Saturday morning cartoons.

Then there was the time Santa came early and abducted my family, leaving me behind to take up smoking and guitar.

a reply to: FinalCountdown

Mods, feel free to move to breaking news. I wasn't sure if it was technically "breaking" or not.

Is Santa Clause really an Alien?

Has anyone really seen santa?

Oh.

a reply to: FinalCountdown

I just don't get it.

Is this satire or just poorly written? Please help me out here.

a reply to: Joneselius
It's all about you. I don't know why you don't get it. You sent this to me and said please post this.
Now I'm confused?

a reply to: FinalCountdown

Right?

ATS members just get weirder and weirder.

I don't remember speaking to a skeleton but there ya go!

a reply to: FinalCountdown

Clearly Santa is Joulupukki

The Finnish equivalent for Father Christmas, Santa Claus, St. Nicholas etc, is joulupukki, who has his origin in the pagan Nordic shaman tradition

Joulupukki was once a symbol of fertility and more of a frightening figure back then than today. He was clad in thick fur-lined coat turned inside out, wearing a mask and a pair of horns on his head. The name joulupukki literally means "Christmas buck" (billy-goat).

The Joulupukki or "Yule Buck" is originally a pagan tradition. He is connected to Wōden of norse mythology and said to wear red leather pants and a fur trimmed red leather coat.[citation needed] On the Winter Solstice, going by the names of Jólnir (yule figure) and Langbarðr (long-beard), Wōden led the Wild Hunt accompanied by Thor driving his flying wagon drawn by goat bucks. The Joulupukki may also be a man turned into a goat-man on Christmas Eve

He usually wears warm red robes (but with a broad band of blue near the fur), uses a walking stick, and travels in a sleigh pulled by a number of reindeer, which cannot fly like Santa Claus's fleet. In Lapland, his mount is a pulkka rather than a sleigh. The popular holiday song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", in its Finnish translation

www.dlc.fi...

I'm bored too

a reply to: chelsdh
Start up a short story then

It's fun and a great way to freeform annoying frustration.

Also, avante garde writing doesn't have to be good or anything. It just has to be.

I suck and clearly I care not. Just feel free.
The only people who "care" are haters anyways who are TRUlY bored.

a reply to: FinalCountdown

There was a book, Return to Watership Down, made up of short stories. One was complete and utter nonsense, and by far my favorite! I just don't have it in me to put things I write up for others' eyes.

Also, I have sent you a couple u2u's. Did you happen to get any? Like, a few weeks ago.

a reply to: FinalCountdown



No. Santa is make believe and Aliens are evil, but real.

a reply to: FinalCountdown

Then there was the time Santa came early and abducted ....

the government has been trying too back engineer the sleigh technology

a reply to: FinalCountdown

Politely. Never mind the alien aspect of the question...

Who or what is the Santa " Clause " ( ? )

You've lost me.

......Unless of course, you meant Santa " Claus " ( ? )

a reply to: chelsdh

I just checked and didn't see any messages, just mods messages saying they removed this post or that. Are u2u messages foundingy messages?

Santa Claus is a made up idol of the church.

Santa Claus = Satan's Claws

He who comes bearing gifts, should not be trusted.

Red suit
Green goblins/elves

The church manipulation with words before our current time. Mind fkd the masses, who in turn, have faith in the church and take everything as true.

Yet the church sits on mountains of gold, power, military, followers.

Seems legit. .