Mensa Invitational Redux

Just for fun - I love this every time I see it:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

www.washingtonpostsmensainvitational.com...

a reply to: FyreByrd

I was reintarnated.

I came to the US as a Hispanic immigrant...

Somehow became a redneck. EDIT: Sorry, Appalachian-American

Actually, there isn't any "Mensa Invitational," but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, "decafalon" isn't a one-letter change from "decathlon," is it? Or "caterpallor"?)

Much better to see the the current Invitational -- every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We've had more than 700 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Sunday in The Post's Arts&Style (features) section, and every Thursday afternoon at about 4 p.m. Eastern time. There are neologism contests regularly, and lots of other sources of humor as well.

This week's results, for example, were for a contest to "clarify" a line from a horoscope in that week's paper. Sample winner:
Pisces: “Everyone around you is in an absolutely foul mood.”
(Clarified) Shouldn’t that tell you something, you jerk?

Take a look at the rest of the winners at (link tracking not allowed)/invite1101 , or look at lots of columns at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. And if you'd like an e-mail notification every week when a new contest and results go online, e-mail me at [email protected] .

Best,
Pat Myers
Empress of The Style Invitational
The Washington Post

a reply to: FyreByrd

Funny list. Reminds me of Sniglets. A segment Rich Hall used to do on the old hbo show Not Necessarily The News.

en.m.wikipedia.org...