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OMG! The FUNNIEST thing I have ever read!

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posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:38 AM
I didn't get to read very far, because I have blue mascara streaming down my face, and I didn't even have makeup on.

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 12:44 AM
reply to post by Hr2burn

I have a feeling that many of the reviews are made by the same person, or a select group. But they are quite funny regardless.

I may have to try to do the experiment myself. (I do luvs me some Haribo Gummi Bears)

What do y'all think. One week with sugar gummis and the next week, sugarless?

I guess I'm a gluten for punishment all in the name of science.

I've noticed that booze seems to play a role as well in the reviews, so I guess I'll have to imbibe as well.

I'll post the results...if you don't mind.
edit on 21-1-2014 by TDawgRex because: Just a ETA

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 02:29 AM
I read this the other day and laughed out loud which takes a lot

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 03:03 AM
Oh god, I'm crying. Thankfully I wasn't drinking anything. I didn't get it at first because I clicked the link before reading your OP. I'm gonna buy these for everyone I know, I wish I knew about them before christmas, I would have put them in fancy jars for everyone.

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 03:31 AM

I'm a diabetic, people buy me these a lot

Wow, they don't make my blood sugar go up at all. Pretty sure it's because any food currently contained in my stomach is instantly liquefied, then pressurized to several thousand psi, blown out the backside with never a chance to be digested. I'm surprised these are even legal. can't have those trans fats/carbs/ take this thing that tastes great but literally turns you into a human super-soaker.

I am dying.
edit on 21-1-2014 by boncho because: (no reason given)

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 04:27 AM
If you like them reviews take a look at

There's some classics on there

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 07:29 AM
reply to post by Hr2burn

ROFL!!! I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks!

Thanks for the laugh, man!!!

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 08:12 AM
lol the comments are an essay lmao!!

Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 08:39 AM
Ahh...hahaha...I am weak from laughing!
After I blow my nose and wipe the tears off my face...I'm sending some of those to my ex-husband!

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 03:01 PM
The first review I read was "Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate."

OMFG, Why Did I read this.
Reading this in school, I was trying so hard not to burst in laughter. I can feel my face turning red.

people around me probably were like" wtf is wrong with this dude"

Thank you for sharing this.
This truly was the best read for this week so far.

edit on 21/1/2014 by ProphetZoroaster because: (no reason given)

edit on 21/1/2014 by ProphetZoroaster because: (no reason given)

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 05:06 PM
An amazing read. Thank you for directing me to them!

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 07:15 PM
Oh man! You guys' replies are hilarious! It's not bad to take a little time away from all the conspiracy once in awhile. I've shared this with a dozen people, always the same result. Fiction or not, I WILL read all 533 posts. I was afraid I was the only childish, potty humor person on here, glad to see that's not the case!

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 07:16 PM

Hundreds of thousands of people watch us violate each other in a molten mass of sugar and federal postage.

Who writes this stuff?

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 08:05 PM
I just logged out a few minutes ago and almost fell over when I saw the adds displayed on the ATS home page.

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 08:39 PM
reply to post by Hr2burn

Years ago I purchase some other sugar free gummy bears and both my dad and I could have supplied the east coast with natural gas....the responses were priceless and I thank you for finding these gems...

Is it wrong that I now want to put these in a candy dish at work?

posted on Jan, 21 2014 @ 11:58 PM
Those reviews are so awesome!!!

If I was still in college this would be the ultimate challenge. Glad those days are behind me because I probably would have been foolish enough to accept this challenge.

I do like one of the comments that said we should send some to our elected officials to show them how much we appreciate their "good" work and at how openly "honest" they are.

posted on Jan, 22 2014 @ 12:19 AM
I almost want to order some to see if I can stomach it.....

Should I ?

posted on Jan, 22 2014 @ 12:44 AM
Every day should have a laugh. This will be good for weeks.


posted on Jan, 22 2014 @ 03:29 AM
Pass the Ex-Lax, I mean the Haribo!

posted on Jan, 22 2014 @ 08:15 AM
reply to post by Hr2burn

I printed out three of the reviews and took them to work last night, passed them around to a lot of people, and they got a good laugh!

Then I thought, 'What did I just do?!'

I'm sure someone will bring in some of those as a prank for us at our next dinner; they love pulling things like that!

I hope I don't forget and eat these things at work, because we can't go to the bathroom any time we need to. We have to wait to be relieved by another staff member, and sometimes it can take them over 30 minutes to get to us.

I may have my own review to post someday.

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