How To See Right Through A Liar

Those of us in the West believe that we’re free to make our own decisions and live our own lives, but this isn’t always the case. Many people and institutions want something from us: our money, power and votes; even control over our bodies, and they’ll resort to lying in order to achieve their goals.

Many liars are successful, but that’s usually because we make it easy for them. As intelligent, experienced adults, it shouldn’t be so easy for others to fool us, but interestingly, in this era of unlimited access to information and instant global communication, we’re still too gullible.Perhaps our infatuation with celebrity is responsible for our being charmed by attractive, charismatic liars. Perhaps our educational system isn’t spending enough time teaching us how to be critical thinkers.
Whatever the reason, our willingness to be deceived enables these individuals to steal our hard-earned money, misinform us about our world, trick us into voting for them and seduce us into their beds.

I came upon this article by Dr. Marcia Sirota and thought it would be something to share with my fellow ATS'ers in our quest to deny ignorance. Dr. Sirota identifies four ways we can see through the liars in our daily life. I think this would be helpful as we so often find ourselves questioning the veracity of news stories and forum topics we encounter on a daily basis.

1: Be your own fact-checker. Successful liars are especially good at making statements that seem credible at first glance but which don’t hold up to scrutiny. If we want to regain control over our lives, we must closely examine what our institutions, bosses, politicians and potential lovers are telling us.

2: Explore their motivations. When someone tells us something that we suspect might not be true, or something that sounds too good to be true, we should always examine why they might be say this. If we look into the motivations behind someone’s words, we can easily separate the liars from the forthright.

3: Explore your own motivations. It’s important when we’re listening to other people that we think about why we’re inclined to believe them. Many of us feel a deep sense of disconnectedness in our lives and are convinced that the way to belong is to believe in someone else.

4: Stop lying to yourself. It can be tempting to practice denial. Facing the truth about yourself or your life can be uncomfortable or upsetting, so it’s not unusual to resort to the defenses of denial, wishful thinking or self-delusion.

I hope you all will enjoy this article as much as I did. I would recommend you read the entire article to get the maximum benefit from the information. The article isn't that long and personally I was able to get some new ideas and food for thought from the steps listed by Dr. Sirota.

Source

Happy Holidays!

reply to post by Metallicus


My ex wife made me a pro at spotting a liar.

One can easily 'fact bait' a person's fictional story.

When it comes to employee's, when you think they are lying - let them get by the first 2. Call them out on the third.

Story:
Had this punk new guy (military) tell me he had a dental appointment as the reason he wasn't at work. Immediately went to the dental clinic and called him again. Story short... Ended up kicking him out...not before he did 30 days extra duty.

Trust but verify.

reply to post by ChuckNasty

Trust but verify.

So true.

Great Regan quote.

Here is how I handle liars:

- if they are lying in general (not to direct questioning), i will know by the long term reality. "I have 20 years experience...." If you really do, it will show. Otherwise, you are a liar.

- with direct questioning you flesh it out in how you question them. Position yourself to begin questioning from a "sucker punch" position. They shouldn't see your interrogation coming, then you just communicate clearly/plainly/bluntly in the way you question them. Their only two choices will be to say nothing or the truth. Leave no time to think about a lie....full frontal assault.

For the most part, the former I really don't care about. Every day lies....meh. The latter, however....that is when I need to know the truth. And I usually get it.

It's like this, Liars for whatever reason, have to have good memory's. keep a record of events and eventually the house of cards they build with deceit comes crashing down when they falter and you nail them with fact after fact kind of like the old western when the guy is dancing as the cowboy is shooting the floor.

reply to post by ChuckNasty


I employed (see what I did there?) a similar approach.

I employed a labourer to help me out the last few weeks leading up to Christmas, as I always experience a rush this time of year.

Anyway, this guy smoked a pack a day, yet never had any money. Right there, such a contradiction bothered me. Also had a drinking problem too and I got tired of his excuses, which often included his daughter in some way, using her as an excuse for his lateness or why he had to leave early whilst reaking of alcohol.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt twice, but the third time he made it pretty easy for me. He didn't bother to turn up for work one morning. No phone call, didn't return my calls and I didn't see or hear from him for 4 days.

How can someone live like that??

See I find out that liars always have inconsistencies. And I have a good memory in regards to what people say to me. And liars will always say something then forget certain things and leave a trail behind them. Eventually it might take a long time, But the truth always has a habit of surfacing. You just got to keep a eye out and wait. Then you can be rid of them forever

reply to post by Metallicus


I suppose everybody to some degree or another lies, sometimes for personal gain, sometimes because the truth hurts!

However when public institutions and even our own government agencies do this to the populace on a daily basis and in such a crass manner in my opinion its time to hang them from a lamp post!

Nobody ever wonder why exactly justice is blind? My answer would be because TPTB put out her eyes many, many Moons ago!

One of the biggest liars I ever met always used to say "I don't lie" or "I would never lie to you" and "I always tell the truth." Like he had to keep convincing himself and everyone around them.