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Attorney, Lawyer, Esquire, Jokes & stories.....Join me in the fun

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posted on Dec, 19 2013 @ 08:09 AM
I know a couple lawyer jokes..been dealing with some serious stuff as of late and thought I need a laugh or two. Here's my two, please join me.

What do you call 1,500 lawyers at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean?........................A good start.

Three folks all died on the same day. The first was a lifelong criminal, the second was a little blue haired old lady, and the third was a lawyer. Now all three showed up at the pearly gates at the same time. The gate keeper let them know that they had to answer a question before letting them in. He let them know "if you get it wrong, down you go".

He started with the career criminal, "he said you lived your entire life doing bad works" this is your one & only chance to get thru these gates. Your question is as follows. Way back in the early 1900"s a ship sank in the frigid Atlantic Ocean. Can you name that ship? He thought for a momnet then said" you know just the other day I was watching a show on T.V. about this very subject. When it went off I ran out to the store & got hit by a bus...but I think the answer is Titanic...The gate keeper said "in you go" and poof he was inside the gate.

Next was the little blue haired old lady...The gate keeper looking at her life record said" your a real winner aren't you" Hateful, mean & surley...But you as well get only one chance to come thru these gates Your question is as follows. Keeping on the same theme as the career criminal. We know the name of the ship was can you tell me how many souls died that day. She thought for a minute then said' You know i was a teacher while alive, 1,523 souls died that day. The gate keeper was stunned, but Poof she was inside the gate.

Last was the lawyer. The gate keeper say's I'll keep your question along the same lines, we know that the ship was called Titanic, we know that 1,523 souls died that day.. So your question is.....I need you to tell me their names!!!
edit on 19-12-2013 by openyourmind1262 because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 19 2013 @ 08:32 AM
reply to post by openyourmind1262

Ethical Lawyer Joke

A lawyer had just wrapped up meeting with her client.

She noticed after the client had left a wallet containing a large some of money dropped on the floor.

She knew she had two choices..

Should I split it with my partner or keep if for myself?

Try the veal, I'll be here all week...

edit on 19-12-2013 by chrismarco because: (no reason given)

posted on Dec, 19 2013 @ 09:18 AM
reply to post by openyourmind1262

G,day mate. great joke
So what is black and brown and looks good on the back of a lawyer.
A doberman.

posted on Dec, 19 2013 @ 09:27 AM
At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish.

What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

This could be the biggest thread ever given how many lawyer jokes are out there.

I hope it made you laugh... at least a little.

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