Do you recommend marriage?

a reply to: danielsil18

Haven't read the other replies, and realize this is an old thread.
Almost to our 24th wedding anniversary, I like the idea of pondering marriage and what it has been for us thus far.

It has been a great great thing for us. That said, it might not be for everyone.
It has allowed us to experience levels of love we had no idea exist.
My husband recently tried to describe it thus-
"I love you more than I did when we married.... it is a love more...round... more full... more complete."

I have never experienced trust in someone to this point, which includes a very realistic and down to earth perception of the person (I mean without idealizing them).

One thing I heard recently and that struck me as true in our case is that "marriage is a long path of falling in and out of love."

We go through ups and downs, we feel more or less amorous at different times, we get caught up in our responsibilities at times, then turn our attention back to our relationship again, wooing and seducing each other all over again.

We help each other change and transform as we each want to, we change guards periodically in terms of power and as each feels a need to rest and be powerless for a while, the other steps up and leads for a while. We trust each other enough to be able to do that.
That's awesome.

I recommend it, if you are wiling to nurture and care for the relationship. If not, then don't bother.

After my first disastrous marriage I was very ant-marriage until I met the one to change my mind.

So my advice is That everyone should be dead set against marriage and stay that way until you find the one person in world that could make you rethink your stance.

If you are under 30, odds are a marriage will end in divorce. Simply put, NEITHER of you really know who you are, what you want, etc., so at some point, a divide will show itself...usually years later after a couple of kids.

If over 30, then perfect, you got a much better shot. However, the idea of marrying the person should seem like a no-brainer. If it doesn't, then not yet ready. If you have to question it at all, not yet ready (or not the right person).

Personally, I love being married, over 10 years now.