Does Unconditional Love Really Exist?

Unconditional love is something you can lose. You can not win it back. You can hope.

Krazysh0t
Yes, it certainly does. Look at the relationship of a dog to its master. The owner could be the most despicable person on the planet, but that dog will still be happy to see his master when he gets home. Heck, you could be executing people right in front of the dog and it will still love you the same afterwards. THAT is unconditional love. Now if we change your original question to "Does unconditional love exist in humans?" then I wouldn't be so sure.

If i could applaud you i would. Couldn`t have put it better.

Maybe it does. Well that's one of my many hopes, my experiences and memory tell me different.
When did I lose a sense of purpose? can I regain what's lost?
Now all I see is a man tired and weary from a mind filled with more memory than it is with hope.

All is arising unconditionally - this is love.

But there seems to be something else - this is fear.

When the 'something else' is imagined and believed then the unconditional is overlooked.

What IS is denied in favour of other.

Suffering happens.

symptomoftheuniverse
Unconditional love is something you can lose. You can not win it back. You can hope.

A love that's lost was never found.

blueyezblkdragon
Maybe it does. Well that's one of my many hopes, my experiences and memory tell me different.
When did I lose a sense of purpose? can I regain what's lost?
Now all I see is a man tired and weary from a mind filled with more memory than it is with hope.

There is no need for hope or a sense of purpose and nothing has been lost really.
Expectations bring us down.

I see a man...a living marvel...a mystery unto himself.

You don't have to be tired and weary you know.

And just to cheer you up...

You will experience unconditional love.

AfterInfinity
Unconditional love strikes me as a suicidal trait. You will lose everything if you love everyone without limit or exception, because this world is full of people willing to take advantage until you are a dry shriveled husk incapable of helping yourself.

You have to be capable of, and willing to, draw the line at some point if you wish to survive at all.

edit on 13-12-2013 by AfterInfinity because: (no reason given)

I agree.

Most of the examples of "unconditional love" that have been given are actually conditional, i.e. parent/child relationship, or husband/wife. People can change. When partners or children become lying cheaters or unrepentant thieves, love will quickly begin to lessen---and become repulsion after enough bad behavior.

Even the example of general feeling of "love" for humanity is dependent upon oneself feeling good. If one is hung-over or in pain, those feelings can disappear quickly.

Even a good dog will eventually bite if he is chained and kicked repeatedly.

reply to post by midicon


I know exactly why I'm like this and yeah I can be happy.

We trusted those we loved, they were brilliant but they twisted me, tortured me, stabbed us in the back and shot me each time I got up, I got back up from each wound each time but I had to change each time . Can you imagine how far gone I was? Each and every time I lost more of myself until all I had were memories.Above the darkness and the shame
above the torture and the pain above the ridicule and hate above the binding of our fate, When it started all we wanted was a chance to live our lives now in darkness taking everything we want and we will rise.

They had to pay, but your past doesn't define who you are it just gives you a starting point for who you're going to be. So I ran back into shadows left only with memories.

There is love I had it once, it's like a memory the more you force it the more you push it away but if you're still and just wait it might just come back again.

Yes, it exists. aka "parental love"

All parents in this thread know.

I believe that my husband and I have unconditional love for each other, warts and all. We love each other in sickness and heath, as well as for richer or poorer (and believe me - we've ridden THAT rollercoaster) He takes me as I am, and I do the same. However... We both believe that real love is a CHOICE you make. When things get rough, or mistakes have been made, you look either choose to continue to love the other person, or choose not too. This is what happens when people "fall out of love". They've chosen not to lovethat person anymore.

Oh, and I love my children unconditionally, too. If, in the future, one of them becomes a psychopath, I'd blame myself and wonder where I went wrong.

Anywhoooo, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

SourGrapes
Yes, it exists. aka "parental love"

All parents in this thread know.

Why do the children not feel that parents have unconditional love?
It is the parental voice in the head which judges.

It is the voice of authority which draws imaginary lines.

reply to post by DazDaKing

Yes. I would die a thousand deaths for my little Sister.

awww

I think love is a survival instinct.

The closest I have come to unconditional is my children, although one is really getting on my nerves.
love and hate
The same brain circuitry is involved in both extreme emotions – but hate retains a semblance of rationality
www.independent.co.uk...

I believe in unconditional love. Unconditional love for a pet or a child is easy (thought not for everyone.) I don't think there's anything any of my 3 kids could do to me to make me stop loving them.

Unconditional love for humanity is harder; loving all mankind as equals, overlooking their flaws and atrocities, seeing the seed of goodness even in the most rotting fruit... When you can feel love for even the monsters of the world, you have found unconditional love. Very difficult, but I believe it is possible.

reply to post by Realtruth


imho,

LOVE is about the welfare, benefit, enhancement, support, nurturance, . . . of the beloved.

Else it doesn't really qualify as LOVE but more as a business transaction.

I've been involved in co-dependent relationships the first 30 or so years of my life. That's not LOVE. That's manipulation, addiction, business transaction etc. However, one can learn some aspects of love in such relationships, if one is paying attention.

I've been on the sending and receiving end of unconditional love.

Certainly Christ's example is the paragon example.

Doing sacrificially, altruistically FOR someone else without any significant chance for repayment by the recipient, is, imho, unconditional Love.

And, as a BY-PRODUCT, such activities when motivated selflessly from the heart . . . by Holy Spirit within . . . afford one a rich satisfying feeling.

Such selflessness, imho, is impossible without being sponsored to some level and degree within by Holy Spirit whether folks are aware of His work within, or not.

And, if a given LOVING ACTION is engaged in primarily for the good feeling it affords, then it is polluted and tarnished--perhaps to the point of obliterating the degree of unconditional love involved.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is an outflowing by-product of being loved by God and actively facilitating or flowing with the outflow of said love to others in one's sphere of influence. When the GOD-INDIVIDUAL connection is optimum or toward optimum, it is impossible to stifle the flow of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE . . . and certainly not a limiting action one infused with God's love would WANT.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is like an artesian spring from within the loving individual. It flows naturally, automatically whenever there's a likely opportunity available.

One doesn't see it on every street corner, certainly.

And most often, it's in unassuming, hidden actions here and there where no one is watching.

It seems to me that in crises and suffering contexts . . . UNCONDITIONAL LOVE seems to stand tallest and be most common.

It seems to be least common and least intense in situations where relationships and individuals are far too taken for granted . . . where they wallow in plenty.

Also, those with significant ATTACHMENT DISORDER . . . are handicapped in terms of love generally. They are still, usually, so bereft of unconditional love in their backgrounds, they have little love of any kind to give out--particularly UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Too typically, they are left bargaining . . . clawing and scratching . . . coercing . . . manipulating and demanding whatever "proofs" of their self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem that they can cobble together from their relationships and interactions.

For too many, that includes a LOT of control-freak-ism as well as put-downs, whining, blaming, arrogance, anger etc. visited upon those closest to them.

OF COURSE, ALL THAT is the opposite of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

And, sadly, ATTACHMENT DISORDER is epidemic in our era.

I've had discussions with colleagues . . . they were initially incredulous when I noted that I thought that 80+% of the general population was plagued with significant degrees of ATTACHMENT DISORDER. The literature tends to talk about 20%.

However, when we talked about DEFINITIONS of "significant degrees of AD" then they agreed with me that it was likely 80% or greater.

My definition of significant AD was sufficient AD that their personal, work and social relationships were persistently troubled, flawed, mangled, plagued as a result of their AD.

Just from my students in INTRO TO PSYCH and other classes over 30 or so years . . . I know that out of 30+ students per class . . . 0-3 students ONLY demonstrated negligible ATTACHMENT DISORDER. And, imho, very few (certainly not more than 8-12 in 30 years) could be said to be totally free of AD. I actually can't recall any; There were some with few such problems.

So, imho, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is not a common feature of our interpersonal, cultural, social landscapes.

Yet, it is priceless and hope-filled when it is evident.

And given the givens . . . it's interesting and sad that it isn't more common.

There's nothing quite like giving it out or receiving it. The richness is life-long memorable and a great treasure.

So why isn't it more common?

Too few . . . "GET OVER THEMSELVES" sufficiently to engage in it.

SELFISHNESS, GREED, !CONTROL!, FEAR, etc. prevent such loving capacities, choices and actions.

And, frankly, we have to go to THE PRINCE OF PEACE, THE PRINCE OF LOVE for a thoroughly cleansing washing-machine cycle, healing, restoration, enhancement . . . in order to get very far down the road of UNCONDITIONAL LOVING ways of living and being in the world.

Great thread topic. Thx.

Please See . . .

BO X ATS ATTACHMENT DISORDER THREAD LINK:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR YOU!
ARTICLE:

sethadamsmith.com...


ATTACHMENT DISORDER IN ADULTS:

www.buzzle.com...

Don't know why the double post. Removed by BoX

symptomoftheuniverse
Unconditional love is something you can lose. You can not win it back. You can hope.

But if you can lose it is it really unconditional? For me it seem that the love you are describing is conditional even it it is very great and even self sacrificing at times.

reply to post by AfterInfinity


Certainly wisdom is related to survival.

However . . .

I can love more or less everyone unconditionally . . . WITH WISDOM.

Love is not automatically, mindlessly stupid!

Genrally, it does NOT help the lovee for the lover to be masochistic or suicidal.

Being a suck-up doormat &/or whipping post is not unconditional love. That's co-dependency or some other pathology.

Love doesn't mean one LIKES the lovee. I've loved fairly unconditionally a lot of people I didn't prefer or like to be around. But I sought their good without strings attached. I wished and prayed for them and their betterment. If I could, I acted in supportive ways toward them.

That did NOT include handing a chainsaw to a chainsaw murderer! . . . figuratively speaking.

TwoTonTommy
I believe in unconditional love. Unconditional love for a pet or a child is easy (thought not for everyone.) I don't think there's anything any of my 3 kids could do to me to make me stop loving them.

Unconditional love for humanity is harder; loving all mankind as equals, overlooking their flaws and atrocities, seeing the seed of goodness even in the most rotting fruit... When you can feel love for even the monsters of the world, you have found unconditional love. Very difficult, but I believe it is possible.

You can always love what they will be even if you cannot love the current.

suz62
Yes. I loved my father unconditionally and he loved me the same way. He was a good father. I was very lucky.

I'm curious . . .

1. How old are you?

2. How many other father/child relationships have you EVER observed to come close to that standard of your experience with your father?

reply to post by Realtruth


Yes it does

The experience of it is profound. Words cannot, IMHO, describe it well. Not even close. But they can point towards it. The gift and challenge of the experience is to then look inwards and see all the constructs we have placed in its way, and journey towards dissolving them.

I love Rumi's writings on love. I thought I would share this video compilation with some of his words. One of my favorite videos