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Give me back my 'MAN' Pants!
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Okay so I took the wife and daughter out shopping for Black Friday... Which for some odd reason occurred on Thursday??? and when I say I took the
ladies shopping I mean I dutifully followed then with the shopping cart..
Anyway... My lovely wife decides she and I need matching 'Round the house' pants... whatever that means? so she walks over to a big display in men's clothing hold up a pair of what look like pajamas bottoms, black with Taz (WB's Tasmanian Devil) I can do Taz so I nod and they get tossed in the cart along with everything else... She picks out a smaller pair for herself... remember we have to match... why, because wives make you do stupid things like that...
Soon as we get home she gives me that big toothy smile..."Go try on your new pants..." "Why don't we leave our pants off and call it good?" she gives me 'That' look so as the whipped puppy I am I go try on the pants...
Soft, made from some kind of acrylic, I mean very , very soft and fluffy... I mean so soft and fluffy I feel my testosterone levels start to crash and I suddenly have the urge to change my career to interior decorating EGAD...
Look forget all the soft fluffy foo-foo and give me back my man pants... made from sandpaper and diamond plate steal , wrapped with razor wire for a belt! We manly men don't want or need your silly girl pants!
What's that honey... Yes I'm wearing my new pants... how do they feel...? The word neutered comes to mind...
Anyway... My lovely wife decides she and I need matching 'Round the house' pants... whatever that means? so she walks over to a big display in men's clothing hold up a pair of what look like pajamas bottoms, black with Taz (WB's Tasmanian Devil) I can do Taz so I nod and they get tossed in the cart along with everything else... She picks out a smaller pair for herself... remember we have to match... why, because wives make you do stupid things like that...
Soon as we get home she gives me that big toothy smile..."Go try on your new pants..." "Why don't we leave our pants off and call it good?" she gives me 'That' look so as the whipped puppy I am I go try on the pants...
Soft, made from some kind of acrylic, I mean very , very soft and fluffy... I mean so soft and fluffy I feel my testosterone levels start to crash and I suddenly have the urge to change my career to interior decorating EGAD...
Look forget all the soft fluffy foo-foo and give me back my man pants... made from sandpaper and diamond plate steal , wrapped with razor wire for a belt! We manly men don't want or need your silly girl pants!
What's that honey... Yes I'm wearing my new pants... how do they feel...? The word neutered comes to mind...
edit on 30-11-2013 by HardCorps
because: (no reason given)
reply to post by HardCorps
There's only one way to deal with a crisis like this.
After you've put your leathers back on demand the female in question refrain from any further mind control attempts and get back to cleaning the kitchen.
Oh yes, don't forget to demand a cold brew every hour or so either. If that fails go back to the store alone and buy her a bunch of new underwear, 3 sizes too small. That way when she tries them on she'll think she's gained a bunch of weight and leave you alone while spending all her time in the bathroom cursing the scale.
There's only one way to deal with a crisis like this.
- "Take off those girly pants and be a man!"
After you've put your leathers back on demand the female in question refrain from any further mind control attempts and get back to cleaning the kitchen.
Oh yes, don't forget to demand a cold brew every hour or so either. If that fails go back to the store alone and buy her a bunch of new underwear, 3 sizes too small. That way when she tries them on she'll think she's gained a bunch of weight and leave you alone while spending all her time in the bathroom cursing the scale.
HardCorps
...
Soft, made from some kind of acrylic, I mean very , very soft and fluffy... I mean so soft and fluffy I feel my testosterone levels start to...
"... raise as the softness feels like being kissed down south... I had to tell the wife who urged me to go back to my man pants."
Phew! I saved the end for you buddy!
so, so soft...
You could always say what my husband does: "No, I don't want to". I respect his feelings, same as he is supposed to respect mine.
Either you secretly like the feel o' the soft and fluffy, or...
Either you secretly like the feel o' the soft and fluffy, or...
reply to post by HardCorps
Keeping the wife happy: very manly thing, unless it's to a point where it erodes your masculinity. I will suffer some level of indignity: such as going into the specialty shop or crafts store that no one with a Y chromosome has ever set foot in, just because I was asked to. But I have drawn a line in the sand and there are things which I absolutely will not do: manicures, urinate sitting down, etc. Set a firm boundary, not saying be an ass, but let the women know what you will and will not do. Go build or destroy something with some power tools, play some metal music, watch a ball game, rev the engine on your car and godspeed on your testicles growing back.
Keeping the wife happy: very manly thing, unless it's to a point where it erodes your masculinity. I will suffer some level of indignity: such as going into the specialty shop or crafts store that no one with a Y chromosome has ever set foot in, just because I was asked to. But I have drawn a line in the sand and there are things which I absolutely will not do: manicures, urinate sitting down, etc. Set a firm boundary, not saying be an ass, but let the women know what you will and will not do. Go build or destroy something with some power tools, play some metal music, watch a ball game, rev the engine on your car and godspeed on your testicles growing back.
reply to post by HardCorps
I happen to think a man strolling around the house in nothing but soft roomy PJ bottoms...well...it's kinda sexy.
I think are are not looking at your advantage here with what your wife has set up for you. KWIM.....
Des
I happen to think a man strolling around the house in nothing but soft roomy PJ bottoms...well...it's kinda sexy.
I think are are not looking at your advantage here with what your wife has set up for you. KWIM.....
Des
FissionSurplus
You could always say what my husband does: "No, I don't want to". I respect his feelings, same as he is supposed to respect mine.
Of course I say no... However My no's don't carry as much weight as her no's do... my daughter being a tween completely ignores me anyway ...unless she needs a ride or money... "I love you daddy!" yeah right...
I applaud and long for the same sex act to succeed... I think it's awesome that you lades are willing to give up so much power... I mean lets face it we guys are dogs and only ever have one thing on our dirty little minds... and that's why I wear the stupid pants....
Oh man, you are cracking me up!!
After wearing my stiff,hard carthart pants all day, I enjoy slipping into my soft and fluffy jammies.
But I draw the line with the shopping thing. I don't ever go shopping with my wife because after 30 mins , I am ready to go. She will stay 3 or 4 hours!!
And as far as black Friday goes, I don't even leave the house, because if I did, I would end up killing someone!
So, I applaud you for your bravery and hope you are rewarded later.
Peace,
K
After wearing my stiff,hard carthart pants all day, I enjoy slipping into my soft and fluffy jammies.
But I draw the line with the shopping thing. I don't ever go shopping with my wife because after 30 mins , I am ready to go. She will stay 3 or 4 hours!!
And as far as black Friday goes, I don't even leave the house, because if I did, I would end up killing someone!
So, I applaud you for your bravery and hope you are rewarded later.
Peace,
K
Welcome to the slob culture. If you really want to get rid of them just volunteer to do the laundry. And go way overboard on the bleach like a whole
bottle.
Men are so afraid to explore their feminine side that they have no idea how much pleasure is truly there.
When a man opens up to the idea that he can still retain his masculinity, but also be feminine at the same time, he opens himself up to 50% more of what life has to offer him. It brings to him a sense of being alive that he never knew existed. If I could give advice to all women in the world, I would say this. Ladies, whenever you are about to have sex with a man, be it, a new relationship or an old one.... Do not allow your man to orgasm before you. It's always ladies first, and that includes in the bedroom. This will spark a passion into him, and he will love the temporary orgasm denial. In fact, he may even realize that after a while, he enjoys that passionate feeling more, than he does ejaculation, and will want to develop more passion and intimacy with you. It's not sex that men truly want, they want to be satisfied on all levels of their being, just like women do. This is possible by developing that passion and love for each other. Ejaculation kills that, and makes the relationship always seem like a struggle. The power, pleasure, joy, and love beyond this type of sex, is so amazing, you'll never go back.
When a man opens up to the idea that he can still retain his masculinity, but also be feminine at the same time, he opens himself up to 50% more of what life has to offer him. It brings to him a sense of being alive that he never knew existed. If I could give advice to all women in the world, I would say this. Ladies, whenever you are about to have sex with a man, be it, a new relationship or an old one.... Do not allow your man to orgasm before you. It's always ladies first, and that includes in the bedroom. This will spark a passion into him, and he will love the temporary orgasm denial. In fact, he may even realize that after a while, he enjoys that passionate feeling more, than he does ejaculation, and will want to develop more passion and intimacy with you. It's not sex that men truly want, they want to be satisfied on all levels of their being, just like women do. This is possible by developing that passion and love for each other. Ejaculation kills that, and makes the relationship always seem like a struggle. The power, pleasure, joy, and love beyond this type of sex, is so amazing, you'll never go back.
LOL - funniest rant I've read in quite some time.
It's amazing how my minds eye was actually picturing your every move.
Happy wife + (full beer fridge x meat in freezer) = happy life.
Fashion and me parted company some time ago - now it's a robe whenever I'm home.
I still wear jeans and flannies from 15 years ago - much to the dismay of my better half!!
It's amazing how my minds eye was actually picturing your every move.
Happy wife + (full beer fridge x meat in freezer) = happy life.
Fashion and me parted company some time ago - now it's a robe whenever I'm home.
I still wear jeans and flannies from 15 years ago - much to the dismay of my better half!!
reply to post by xxshadowfaxx
He also opens himself open to 50% more harassment from his friends.
When a man opens up to the idea that he can still retain his masculinity, but also be feminine at the same time, he opens himself up to 50% more of what life has to offer him.
He also opens himself open to 50% more harassment from his friends.
reply to post by buster2010
Hint: You don't tell your buddies about it.
I still love my bubble baths in the jacuzzi with my eucalyptus sugar scrub.
Shhhh, don't tell the guys.
He also opens himself open to 50% more harassment from his friends.
Hint: You don't tell your buddies about it.
I still love my bubble baths in the jacuzzi with my eucalyptus sugar scrub.
Shhhh, don't tell the guys.
I think you are losing track of the goal here.
It's not about the short term battle. It's about the long term war.
Walk into the living room while wearing the pants and declare in a loud voice, " These pants have made me realize that I work way too hard and don't relax near enough!"
Turn to walk out of the room but pause. Say over your shoulder, "And someone left the toilet seat down. AGAIN!"
Walk away. Do not look back or you will laugh at the look on her face and ruin the whole thing.
It's not about the short term battle. It's about the long term war.
Walk into the living room while wearing the pants and declare in a loud voice, " These pants have made me realize that I work way too hard and don't relax near enough!"
Turn to walk out of the room but pause. Say over your shoulder, "And someone left the toilet seat down. AGAIN!"
Walk away. Do not look back or you will laugh at the look on her face and ruin the whole thing.
Not only did I enjoy this, but I read this aloud to my in-laws, whom I happened to be visiting when I ran across this post. We all got a great chuckle
from this post.
I vote this for best rant of the year!
I vote this for best rant of the year!
Hahaha
Wears pants in the house.
hahahaha
Oh yeah, I spose people do that.. oO
Wears pants in the house.
hahahaha
Oh yeah, I spose people do that.. oO
This could not have been said better!!! There is a hidden world available to both men and women outside the realm of gender. Once there, relationship
and sexuality evolve (positively) beyond your wildest dreams.
It's such basic stuff, I don't know why it isn't more explored. Especially if you honour your partner and relationship and expect it to last.
Great rant though... kinda cute!
reply to post by xxshadowfaxx
It's such basic stuff, I don't know why it isn't more explored. Especially if you honour your partner and relationship and expect it to last.
Great rant though... kinda cute!
reply to post by xxshadowfaxx
Send those soft, roomy sissy pants to me! I need me some decent lying-around-the-house pants. I can't seem to find any that fully satisfy my need.
Yoga pants just aren't the same.
reply to post by HardCorps
Thank you for that post I really needed a smile and a good laugh.
Next time something like this happens tell her that the next family outing will be a hiking/camping trip to balance things out.
You'll never have to go shopping again with her.
There are some places a man should not be and that is shopping with women.
Thank you for that post I really needed a smile and a good laugh.
Next time something like this happens tell her that the next family outing will be a hiking/camping trip to balance things out.
You'll never have to go shopping again with her.
There are some places a man should not be and that is shopping with women.
reply to post by HardCorps
Then I think this joke will satisfy:
A newly wed couple make it to their room and start to get unpacked.
The Man wants to make sure she knows her place. He takes off his pants and tosses them over to her an tells her to put them on.
She replies, "they don't fit!" "Thats right, because I'm the man." He said.
"I wear the pants in this family!" He shouted.
She slides her panties down her legs and throws them in his face and says. "Here! now put these on!"
He smirks and pulls them up only to stop at his knees. "They don't fit?"
She growls back, "Thats right, and with that attitude you won't get in them."
BTW I know the feeling, sorry bout that.
Just wait till the "round the house" becomes the matching "round the store."
Then I think this joke will satisfy:
A newly wed couple make it to their room and start to get unpacked.
The Man wants to make sure she knows her place. He takes off his pants and tosses them over to her an tells her to put them on.
She replies, "they don't fit!" "Thats right, because I'm the man." He said.
"I wear the pants in this family!" He shouted.
She slides her panties down her legs and throws them in his face and says. "Here! now put these on!"
He smirks and pulls them up only to stop at his knees. "They don't fit?"
She growls back, "Thats right, and with that attitude you won't get in them."
BTW I know the feeling, sorry bout that.
Just wait till the "round the house" becomes the matching "round the store."
edit on 30-11-2013 by AK907ICECOLD because: (no reason
given)