posted on Nov, 16 2013 @ 04:35 AM
To all of you who have responded thank you very much. I really mean it from the bottom of my heart, All your cares to respond just for the sake of
helping somebody out means a lot.
There are so many of you I wish to get back to you and reply to. If I haven't sent a reply yet, I ask for your forgiveness. I don't know
how many of you can relate to this, but I sense I'm not alone when I say, sometimes It's hard for me to dive into some threads such as the concept
of "Hell", among others that hit a spot emotionally. I am an extremely sensitive individual, who can and does get physically sick when I am too
stressed out on one topic, and yet I'm at war with myself fighting the need to always be "comfortable", because sometimes I feel like that is ego,
and it's fear of challenges, fear to completely surrender to the Lord, and live in the spirit not the flesh.
Sometimes, you guys will notice my writing/thoughts are all scattered one night, and some of my posts the next may be much more clear. It's
all part of some challenges I'm going through, dyslexia, ADHD, Anxiety, Obsessive compulsive disorder et... So I apologize if some of my posts seem
to be confusing.
Deep in my heart and soul believe in the Lord, I believe in Christ. In my mind is where I'm torn. Because sometimes It feels
like when you backslide enough, God will allow you to fall for delusions and become blinded. And As you become blinded, human logic seemingly makes
sense, and arguments for atheism can seem so rational etc.. It seems like Science can answer mysteries of the Universe and not God's Word.
But the second and I mean the second, you truly repent and seek out the True God of the Universe, your heart can soften and profound truth's
of God's deepest mysteries begin shining upon you. And all of a sudden your spirit through the gift of the holy spirit begins re-affirming to you
that God had his hand in your life all along, and not at one moment were you ever truly forgotten, not loved etc...
You Begin to see that God may have let you go to test out the waters with your own pride ( not because you hated him, but because It was
easier to be self righteous due to fear and believe that you were in control of your life entirely) But all along he knew you would come back like the
Prodigal Son, with a renewed courage in these end times to not just "know of" Christ's redemption and liberation of your soul, but to
"experience" Christ's liberation and desire for a relationship with you personally!
I mean, when their are so many lingering doubts and uncertainties you have towards God, and so many questions you just wish so badly that he
would come down and answer right now , as you mature in the walk you just realize it's all part of a process, a blueprint unraveling according to a
divine will our minds have a tough time grasping, it comes down to Faith. But you can only have faith in something or someone that you truly
experience, trust and ultimately love with all of your heart and soul. So it's all inter connected.
If you find yourself an atheist of agnostic. Do not look at the question as to whether God exists or not in a state of
utter fear. If you could reframe it in a form of "love" and be truly honest with yourselves and ask yourselves if you are truly filled, truly
content? That sense that something is just "off " with this world is not by chance. The very fact that the world is falling apart is not by chance,
nor can it be chalked up to the "Barbaric" nature of man annihilating our own species through Greed etc..
It has all been prophesized about in the bible. This revelation has hit me harder than any other theme ever before. You can call
the bible a fairy tale designed by Man to control people etc.. But that's the shortcut, that's the easy way out to take the opium and allow the
"ignorance is bliss" sensation numb you out to your hearts innate desire to re-connect with your creator( a gift given to you from God, all good
things, all love stems from him)
The bible said the end days would be like the days of Noah. And if you read about the days of "Noah" you will know that seemingly the entire
world had become corrupt. The occult and Sex were rampant in those days, and now we are seeing these same two themes apparent unlike ever before. It
seem almost everybody sees their sense of self worth unconsciously tied up and rooted in sex appeal( People will harm themselves in all various ways
just to reach a point where they "make it", and achieve beauty, the world's approval, power, social status etc...
Sex is idolized, and glorified in every ad, magazine, tv program, radio broadcast. Children are now dressing up like Miley Cyrus and Rihanna
and idolizes this figures, completely unaware of the inner hell these artists experience being puppets of the illuminati. People are broken inside,
yet they have to wake up everyday and put on the mask and get all doped up on the world's high's just to pretend everything is intact even though
all your senses tell you they're not.
You're not ignoring the cries of your soul because you are horrible people. All of you are amazing, talented, beautiful, unique in all of your
own ways. None of this is an evangelistic attempt. I am not here to try to sell you "God", I'm here to tell you God's love is designed to reach
the deepest part of your souls, and to not be afraid as that process begins.
It is not by coincidence that the word "God" creates more goose bumps sensations than any other word in existence. the word "God" is
uprooted in the most sensitive issues of the heart, because "Man was not meant to live without God", yet we live in a world where we throw on the
Channel 5 news and hear a grotesque detail of the story of a severely mentally ill Mother from "Texas" who drowns her children because she heard
"God" to tell her to do it. We hear of a horrifying terrorist attack in Sudan in which extremists kill innocents because they believed "God"
commanded them to do it.
It gets even worse when you feel like you are living in a world where you have to seemingly "pick" the right religion in time, or else get it
wrong and burn in "hellfire" forever. If you do step in a church, and are ridiculed because you are a homosexual you may walk out of there feeling
more judged and hated upon than ever before. And the irony is that very preacher who initiated judgement upon you himself was doing drugs like
methamphetamine and involved sexually with young boys such as was the case with Colorado mega preacher Ted Haggard.
These all leave a stain in your mind, an itch that seems like it cannot be scratched that constantly nags you. Subconsciously you carry this
belief that if the God of this universe existed you wouldn't even want to know him, because this world's display of who or what God stands for has
completely altered your views, and the true picture of love, grace, joy, redemption is not seen.
The problem is the way God has been portrayd to society is all based on lies, everybody seems to have a motive, an angle, a deep agenda to
exploit and prosper on their own. But God's word warns of this too. It explicitly details that the "heart of man" is deceptive and what we think is
Good for us is in actuality not.
If you truly want to know the truth, just simply ask "Yeshua " to reveal himself, he will