On Choosing Your Sexuality

Christian Voice
reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

 

OK, so let me get this straight. You guys are saying that there are 4 types of people on this planet, the homosexual which according to you is completely natural and good, the heterosexual who could care less what anyone else does, the bisexual who has no preference really who or what they sleep with, and the heterosexual that is anti gay because he is a suppressed homosexual himself ? Is that summing it up right ?
From what I'm gathering from you guys, the only way possible for someone to be anti gay and think homosexuality is wrong is if he himself is suppressing homosexual urges and hates himself ? Please correct me if I'm reading this wrong.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov...

Study that showed increase in arousal among homophobic men that viewed male same-sex porn.

"Abstract
The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies."

reply to post by OrphanApology


That study is a load of biased horse crap.

Christian Voice
reply to post by OrphanApology

 

That study is a load of biased horse crap.

How? Do you see some issue with their testing procedures or are you just uncomfortable with the results?

Here's a link to the full PDF for the study. If you see any biased procedures please point them out.

my.psychologytoday.com...

Christian Voice
From what I'm gathering from you guys, the only way possible for someone to be anti gay and think homosexuality is wrong is if he himself is suppressing homosexual urges and hates himself ? Please correct me if I'm reading this wrong.

You'll note the following from my post above..."But as any anthropologist/sociologist will tell you, there are no absolutes." I'd be a little more concerned about reconciling your anti-gay self with your neighbour-loving and not-judging self. Motes and beams and such.

reply to post by Megatronus


Is that really what you took out of my post? That I was comparing homosexuality to pedophilia and necrophilia? Seriously? I said that the act of having sex is a choice; you choose to have sex, but you do not choose what you are attracted to. For example, you can be celibate and heterosexual.

Christian Voice
reply to post by OrphanApology

 

That study is a load of biased horse crap.

You say that about every study put forth that isn't supporting your viewpoint....so would you please indulge that when you call a study "biased horsecrap", please at least say why?

Otherwise, it just looks like you dismiss whatever you don't feel comfortable with as "biased horse crap". There is no use talking to such a person, and we would all rather save our time and effort.

terriblyvexed
reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan

 

We're all gay, it's just to what extent are you gay.

But to say you've always known you're gay or strait is in my view wrong. I hope we can all agree that child molester's are not natural, but if sexuality is something you just are, and not of you're own choice, then should we show leniency for this perversion? It's who they are, they can't help it, they were born that way, right?

No sexuality is not a born thing it's experience, and choice as you become sexually mature.

For some the lines will always be muddled, myself for example, I've never engaged in homosexuality not for moral reasons "as I can find nothing immoral about it", but because I decided I prefer women.But yet I still can't look you in the eye, and say rather or not I'm sexually attracted to Russel Crowe! That man is my enigma!

He has such dreamy eyes, and can wear the hell out of a cowboy hat! We're all gay it's just to what extent, and the choice has and always will be you're own.

I have to disagree with most of what you wrote. We are definitely not all gay to a certain extent. And many of us have had a sexual preference way before we are sexually mature.

When I was 4 years old, I had a 6 year old neighbor with long blond curly hair. I used to go over there and play with her dollhouse (read: watch her playing with her dollhouse). I was absolutely mesmerized by her femininity. The way she touched her hair, the way she smiled timidly, etc.

I have been attracted to the feminine all my life, and female sexuality was gradually added to that. At age 10, in another country, I had another very attractive neighbor of 13 at the time (she was already well into puberty), and though I was still far from puberty, I was definitely sexually attracted to her.

I have never felt any sexual attraction towards a male in my life. Sure, some are beautiful to look at, but that's not the same as sexual attraction to me, at all.

To me, one of the most attractive things about females is that they are so different from myself. They will always remain somewhat of a mystery, and trying to find out what "makes them tick" is one of the greatest pleasures I have known.

We are all unique in our sexuality.

Here is question I asked a gay member a long time ago and the gay forum members were really nice about responding to it.

Why is it many times gays chose a partner that looks male or female.

There is a role they take on, one women is very feminine and the other very butch.

And same way with the men.



I mean if you are attracted to men, then why do you want a feminine one.

I just think there are many question regarding sexuality that cannot be answered .

Stormdancer777
Here is question I asked a gay member a long time ago and the gay forum members were really nice about responding to it.

Why is it many times gays chose a partner that looks male or female.

There is a role they take on, one women is very feminine and the other very butch.

And same way with the men.

I mean if you are attracted to men, then why do you want a feminine one.

I just think there are many question regarding sexuality that cannot be answered .

edit on 123131p://bMonday2013 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)

Because of the last line in my post above yours: We are all unique in our sexuality.

Stormdancer777
Here is question I asked a gay member a long time ago and the gay forum members were really nice about responding to it.

Why is it many times gays chose a partner that looks male or female.

There is a role they take on, one women is very feminine and the other very butch.

And same way with the men.

People treat you worse if you don't follow hetero-normative patterns.

For instance, I dress boyish and girly depending on how I feel that day. Same with my girlfriend. When we go out together both looking boyish we are treated very rudely( I don't know if this is some subconscious anti-male homophobia that people secretly have without knowing or what).

When I dress girly and her boyish we are treated better, like a lesbian couple...people hand her the check and when she dresses girly and me boyish it's reversed. When we both dress girly we are treated amazing, guys even offer to buy us drinks and stuff(that last part is a joke...but it actually happens...).

So as to why lesbian couples or gay couples follow patterns is because when you have a boy looking partner and girly looking partner people treat you better than if you have two of same.

Also I think people just naturally gravitate to those who are opposite of them. If you are some guy who can't lift more than 40 lbs and you know more about shoes than the ladies of sex and the city, you will probably go for a guy opposite of you.

That's my two cents anyway.

reply to post by soulwaxer


maybe we are only looking for companionship,friendship, you usually become friends before lovers, and eventually become friends again when your sex drive diminishes.

If there is not more than sex in a relationship it wont last anyway.

reply to post by OrphanApology

So as to why lesbian couples or gay couples follow patterns is because when you have a boy looking partner and girly looking partner people treat you better than if you have two of same.

WOW that's interesting, it must be a psychological thing.

I have been a tom boy all my life, the thing my boyfriends and husbands loved most about me was that I loved to hunt and fish and was very athletic, always preferred mens jeans and shirts to womens, but I am straight as they come.

No one ever thought I was gay.

Stormdancer777
reply to post by OrphanApology

 

So as to why lesbian couples or gay couples follow patterns is because when you have a boy looking partner and girly looking partner people treat you better than if you have two of same.

WOW that's interesting, it must be a psychological thing.

I have been a tom boy all my life, the thing my boyfriends and husbands loved most about me was that I loved to hunt and fish and was very athletic, always preferred mens jeans and shirts to womens, but I am straight as they come.

No one ever thought I was gay.

Try going out to dinner with a female friend that looks butch and see what happens. I guarantee you'll be treated differently.

No one probably thinks you're gay because A. You're with men and B. You might just look like a tough country girl and that might be common in your area.

I've seen a lot of tomboy country girls that just look like country girls. I guess it depends on the area you live in.

Also to add: A male and female couple, regardless of how tomboyish a girl looks still follows the pattern of male and female. I think subconsciously people still assume the dominance of the man. Maybe men even respect the man more by being with a woman like that because she doesn't follow the easily dominated role, so maybe he's extra manly by being able to snag such a chick.

I know that when I dressed really butch one time and went out with my girly gay guy friend, he was treated very very very very rudely. When I dressed more girly out with him he was treated better.

People are odd.

Stormdancer777
reply to post by soulwaxer

 

maybe we are only looking for companionship,friendship, you usually become friends before lovers, and eventually become friends again when your sex drive diminishes.

If there is not more than sex in a relationship it wont last anyway.

A very nice thought, and very often true! Thanks.

OH check this out, I had heard of the Fa'afafine before but forgot all about it.

Fa'afafine: The boys raised to be girls

www.sbs.com.au...

While it is not widely known in Australia, there is a third gender of people who make up an important and accepted part of Samoan culture.

Samoan Fa'afafine – or “Fafa” – are men who are raised as females and identify with that gender.

They mostly have relationships with heterosexual men and are generally not gay.

In Samoa, gender identity is largely based on a person's role in the family and if one family has numerous sons and no daughters, it's not uncommon to raise one of the boys as a girl.

In fact, being a Fa'afaine or the practice of males adopting female gender roles and the attributes traditionally associated with women is deeply embedded in much of Polynesia.

Some Polynesian elders believe there are boys born with the “Fa'afafine spirit,” while others say it can be nurtured.

Boys like Leo Tanoi, who don't feel the Fa'afafine spirit, may be nominated as the Fafa in a family of all boys but Leo says that doesn't always work out for the best.

“Quite a lot of the memories I have related to this is all the physical abuse,” he says.

“A lot of physical violence,

youtu.be...

bigfatfurrytexan
Yeah, I know....sick of the gay threads almost as much as GZ threads. But something I want to share with you as an epiphany as it regards choosing your sexuality.

The debate about sexuality runs the gamut from its morality, to why people engage in various practices. As it regards morality, nothing can really be determined due to the wholly subjective nature of what morality is. We each develop our own views based on our own experiences and choices. Essentially, morality is "What Would I Do", as you then judge everyone else based on that standard (people will rarely admit to their own evils, choosing instead of rationalize them).

But much has been said about whether or not someone chooses to be gay. I see it on these boards all the time, usually from some random poster with very few posts to their names. But not always.

I think something important is overlooked in that debate, however: that we tend to believe others capable of the same things we are. It is what I stated above: the world is judged by your own standard, determined by your own experiences and your own context.

As a heterosexual male, I do not see homosexuality as a choice. Sex is a performance issue with men, and I just would not be able to perform. It would be like an anti-arousal for me. So homosexual sex is not a choice for me, personally, as I am physically incapable of it. This life's experience has made me believe that homosexuality is something you are born with, or at the very least have ingrained on you psychologically. It is a state that is part and parcel to your being, as you typically cannot control what arouses you (i am not denying the psychological impacts of learned behaviors and associations....but that is part of what makes you who you are, so there is no need to deny it).

So what of people who believe that it is a choice? What, in their own personal contexts, would make them believe that people can choose to be aroused by the same sex? It would never occur to me that someone might be able to control what arouses them without extensive psychological training. Nor would it occur to me that one could choose whether or not the same sex is arousing.

I think you see where this is going.....and it is absolutely not a slur on anyone (being gay is not an insult). However, I would suspect that many who claim that homosexuality is a choice, when faced with this quandry, would react quite aggressively.

And to be honest, I understand that. For someone who campaigns about the moral depravity of the homosexual, as well as the choice that homosexuals make because of this depravity....admitting that your own homosexual feelings provide the life's experience and context for your beliefs would be very difficult. But because you are able to wrestle your own demons and abstain from homosexual expression, you expect others to do the same. To live up to your own moral achievement.

Just like the guy who loses 200lbs, and then calls everyone "fat". I mean hey, if he can do it, why can't everyone else?

God decides your gender, male or female.

Another what's wrong with the "act" thread, a lot! Unrepentant sodomites are in Hell and for Bible Alone
believers, it written in the Gospel (2 Peter 2:4-6, Jude 5). Repent and confess to God any sexual sins of your life! Catholics must do more, they must go to Confession. If you are a sodomite (ich), repent and confess the 'act' to God and remain celibate.

The acceptance of "depravity." God did not make men to have anal sex with each other. If a person has
no faith, the natural law should tell you. Sodomy is an ABOMINATION to God. God makes no one homosexual, it is a disorder.

Satan has almost accomplished the destruction of the family, obvious to see now for several generations with the acceptance of sexual sins as NO sin at all! God made sex for two things, marriage and procreation not selfish self gratification. The destruction of the family, no bonding with a person's father is the major reason for homosexuals believing they are homosexual. God knows if you had no father or a troubled/difficult father. Turn to the God the Father, He is the best of fathers. Pray, speak to God the Father from your heart.

Do not approve the homosexual agenda. God's just judgment is close, Heaven says "soon", partly for our nation's acceptance (thank the Lord, not everyone) of the "act", it is a grave MORTAL sin.


God bless you BFFT,

Stormdancer777
OH check this out, I had heard of the Fa'afafine before but forgot all about it.

Fa'afafine: The boys raised to be girls

www.sbs.com.au...

While it is not widely known in Australia, there is a third gender of people who make up an important and accepted part of Samoan culture.

Samoan Fa'afafine – or “Fafa” – are men who are raised as females and identify with that gender.

They mostly have relationships with heterosexual men and are generally not gay.

In Samoa, gender identity is largely based on a person's role in the family and if one family has numerous sons and no daughters, it's not uncommon to raise one of the boys as a girl.

In fact, being a Fa'afaine or the practice of males adopting female gender roles and the attributes traditionally associated with women is deeply embedded in much of Polynesia.

Some Polynesian elders believe there are boys born with the “Fa'afafine spirit,” while others say it can be nurtured.

Boys like Leo Tanoi, who don't feel the Fa'afafine spirit, may be nominated as the Fafa in a family of all boys but Leo says that doesn't always work out for the best.

“Quite a lot of the memories I have related to this is all the physical abuse,” he says.

“A lot of physical violence,

Actually I referenced them in an article I wrote about gender programming and it's possible effect on male aggression.

What's interesting is how society's programming of gender performance has effect on male aggressiveness of people raised in these ambiguous genders. There are actually quite a few examples of this.

That kind of goes hand in hand with the various articles on Psychohistory.com which looks at various treatments of children and their effect on future aggressiveness and war.

There are actually quite a few third gender groups in various societies. Most of them are mtf but there are examples of ftm like the Albanian Sworn Virgins. Here's an interesting video if you have time to check it out.

video.nationalgeographic.com...

colbe
God's just judgment is close, Heaven says "soon", partly for our nation's acceptance (thank the Lord, not everyone) of the "act", it is a grave MORTAL sin.

If that is the case, then how come so many of the other Biblical admonitions are able to be ignored with impunity? or as Carlin allegedly asked...
"How many Catholics are doing eternity for eating meat on a Friday?"

Haters gonna hate, I guess.

Always late to the party!

As others have shared, i have always been 'Gay'. i have always been effeminate, and i never made a choice to be Gay.

for those that think we select to be gay, could you? if you are saying we have a choice to be Straight and select to be gay, you have a choice to select to be gay too, can you view yourself with the same sex?