6 months to live...and not a clue what to say

reply to post by Night Star


Night Star

I would consider it an honour and a privilege to escort you ladies

Cody

reply to post by cody599


Love it Cody! I love my ats family so much!!

reply to post by k21968


As do we love you

Some of us may be miles away, but we are at your side always

Cody

I talked to Lisa a few minutes ago. She had a treatment today and the doctor talked her out of stopping treatments because as I suspected it would be days not months to live if she did that.

He added two drugs for the horrible side effects she is having in hopes that it will make her quality of life better. She said she felt drunk and was taking a nap.

Keep her in your prayers my friends. Thank you all for everything so far. Just knowing I can come here and vent and talk about it means a lot. I really have no one else to talk to about it that is not involved. They are burdened enough.

You guys all mean so much to me.

Thank you!

I do hope she feels better soon. Don't ever worry about getting things off your mind in here. You know we will be here for you. HUGS!

reply to post by Night Star


Star.....sorry it took me so long to get back here to respond. I typed a super long reply, and then did something wrong and it didn't post! I had a couple of bad days and just didn't get a chance to type the whole thing over again. When I found out I was going to have to have chemo, they gave me the option of getting it daily by IV or getting a port surgically implanted, where they put a device up near your collarbone, under the skin. Then they put an IV (mainline) directly into your artery in the neck. That way, they can attach it to a pump which delivers the chemo around the clock for 4 days, and that's it. You just go in, they attach the pump, and you don't worry about it....on the 4th day, you just go back and the take it off. Saves your arms from getting all bruised up and a lot of time.

The only drawback is the surgery to have the port put in. But after that, it's great...because any time you need an IV for ANYTHING, they just go thru the port...no more sticking the arms (and you know with this type of illness they re constantly sticking you!) Typically, they just leave it in for a year or two, just in case you need more treatment later (but you have the option of removing it). I am so glad I made the choice to go that way.

Where I had my chemo, it was just a huge open room, with a bunch of recliners, and a couple of TVs......so everyone just talked to everyone. The first day I walked in I was terrified! Like you said, there were some VERY sick people. Most had no hair and were very frail. I totally thought the worst. As my treatment went along, I never lost my hair, and everyone pretended to hate me for it LOL....like when I walked in they would say "oh....she comes Ms THING....pfffft" and do the pretend hair flip gesture LOL! They were just teasing though. But in reality, I felt soooo bad....because I didn't lose my hair or weight and everyone else there had. I still don't understand it....I had no problems like that. But the atmosphere there was just like that....people joking and laughing....teasing each other. The culture here in the south is like that though. We're a tough breed I guess you could say!

There were some though who really affected me, such as the tiny lady shivering under that threadbare blanket they gave her. You could tell straight away she was dying. That really hit me, being my first day, and touched my heart even more.
That's when I got the idea of making blankets for the chemo dept. It kept me occupied, and it also helped them. It's pathetic, the healthcare here in the U.S......a hospital, with not enough blankets to go around!

I didn't get sick AT ALL on my first round of chemo....I felt fine. It was the second round combined with radiation that got me. Four days into it that's when I wound up in an ambulance on my way to the hospital with low counts (like what Lisa is going through) and having to get the bone marrow treatments. I guess overall I have been lucky compared to most I have seen. If you saw me on most days you would never know I was sick by looking at me.....but that makes it tough too, because people don't realize how sick I am.

2 more weeks, and I get new MRIs, etc.... and hopefully it is all gone! **please God!** My doctor is feeling good about it. Whatever the case, I have learned so much through this...and I am committed to working with the cancer society for the rest of my life to give back the kindness and support that has been given too me. There are some WONDERFUL people in this world....even ifit at times does not seem like it!

reply to post by k21968


Oh God bless her heart......she's been through so much.....Sugar, I am so glad you reached out here and we all met! I know we don't know each other in "real" life, but it just FEELS that way. You and Lisa are in my thoughts daily, and whenever you need a friend to listen....you know you have some here!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugssssssssssss)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

cody599
reply to post by Night Star

 

Night Star

I would consider it an honour and a privilege to escort you ladies

Cody

You are such a sweetheart.....Mrs. C is welcomed to come too (of course)! Even if it IS just a fantasy.....but hey...who knows what will happen in the future...maybe one of us will win the lottery and then.....LOOK OUT VEGAS!!!! LMAO!
HUGE hugs to you darling

reply to post by StealthyKat


If I were ever to have enough money

I'd fly all my friends on ATS to Vegas for one long weekend ATS party

And thank you for thinking of Mrs C as well ......................... Someone has to do the cleaning *ducks*

Huge hugs right back at you Stealthy

I'm lobbing angels left right and centre here

Be sure to catch yours

Cody

cody599
reply to post by StealthyKat

 

If I were ever to have enough money

I'd fly all my friends on ATS to Vegas for one long weekend ATS party

And thank you for thinking of Mrs C as well ......................... Someone has to do the cleaning *ducks*

Huge hugs right back at you Stealthy

I'm lobbing angels left right and centre here

Be sure to catch yours

**jumps up and REEEEACHES for it**....Got it!

Wow....if you could pull off that ATS in Vegas party....it would be the party of all parties!! Ha!

Cody

reply to post by StealthyKat


I had the port but man that thing did NOT want to come out after! Think I had mine for like a year. I donated a load of books to the place where I had my treatments. They had plenty of blankets. That is very sweet and thoughtful of you to work with the cancer society. I remember getting a pretty little sterling silver necklace, forget who donated them for the patients. It was such an unexpected surprise and nice to recieve after going through so much.

reply to post by Night Star


ACS is wonderful.....they helped me so much! What do you mean about the port not coming out well? That scares me . I want to get mine out as soon as can because it kind of bothers me now....like when I am sleeping and I lay on that side it bothers me. What problems did you have?

reply to post by StealthyKat


Oh Honey, don't worry, you'll be numb and won't feel a thing! I had the option of having it out surgically in the hospital or as out patient right at the doctor's office. I chose the doctor's office. He said that many people don't have any problems, but for some it's a little more difficult to remove. It's like having a tooth pulled where you don't feel pain but you feel pressure of the pulling and twisting and pulling. I guess tissue grows around the port or something. I don't remember. It bled quite a bit. I could feel it dripping down my skin. Once it was out I was on my way to lunch and just fine. It's just that it was stubborn and really in there, but that doesn't happen all the time. Like I said you'll be all numbed up and won't feel any pain.

I didn't mean to scare you. You're gonna be just be fine. It is much easier removing the port than having it put in from what I'm told.

reply to post by Night Star


0h ok....LOL....I am so queasy about stuff like that. I can't even think about it being in there or I get nauseated haha! Just the thought of it, you know? :p

reply to post by k21968


Any updates on Lisa? Did you ask her again if she would come on here? If she is up to it? I would really like to talk to her. Did the new medicines give her any relief at all? Please tell her I am praying for her to get some kind of peace and feel a little better.....if she would like to, tell her she can email me. I will u2u my email address to you. I mean, sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is going through the same thing, you know? So tell her that I know she doesn't know me, but I feel like I know her LOL....and anytime she needs to talk to someone going through the same thing, I'm just an email away, ok?
Love,
Kat

P.S.....and it goes without saying that offer includes you as well ((((((hugs)))))

Makes me nervous when I don't have an up-date. Don't want to nag though.

I have talked to her and right now she is still bed ridden. She doesnt get on facebook at all any more and if I text her she tells me to call.

She is very sick . She spend Thursday night in the ER and was diagnosed with pneumonia. It is not looking good for her. She is extremely immune compromised so they told her they are not sure she can beat the pneumonia.

Please pray. She is very very sick.

reply to post by k21968


Oh no....poor darlin. I will continue to pray. Yes....don't text, just call. I know when I was sick with low counts, even texting or FB was hard because you are just so weak. She needs every bit of strength to fight the pneumonia. (((((((hugs you soooo tight)))))) I'm so sorry hon.

I had a gut feeling it would be bad news. I too am so very sorry to hear this. Feelings from the heart can never be easily conveyed with words, but it's all we have really and cyber hugs. I'm going to get a candle now and light it for Lisa. I will pray for her comfort and peace and for you and her family as well.

reply to post by Night Star


I know....everytime I post "cyber hug" it feels so useless...but it's all I can do