John Cleese's take on the current Syria crisis.

This was shared on my Facebook wall, I cracked up when I read it, it is even funnier if you read it in Johns voice.

Wanted to share this with those that can't see my wall, funny as hell....

ALERTS TO THREATS
IN 2013 EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Life is too short...

reply to post by woogleuk





Some of that cracked me up.

I never thought Cleese had it in him.

Haha that is classic Cleese! I love that someone brought the humor to the table on this issue. As the rest of us all are aware Syria is a big joke.

Appropriate, from the Minister of Silly Walks. Thanks. I needed a laugh.

reply to post by woogleuk


Good stuff!

And once again the U.S. is about to raise it's security level to 'Spend billions of dollars on attacking a Middle Eastern Nation that can't be fixed'. The only level higher than this is 'Pat ourselves on the back and pretend we actually fixed something'.

not john cleese apparently but still funny ...

Snopes

I think this a funny post but how hard is it to check something's authenticity? It's not. I understand that it's still funny but it's still wrong and just adds to the pile of posts by people who trust whatever they read on Facebook and repost without any verification. I can't wait for the next, "Mr Rogers was a navy seal" posts.

Awesome when a pro gets into it!

"Welcome back to 430 BC!"

Laugh riot!

reply to post by fenson76


Actually, I trust nothing I read on Facebook, however, the writing style was very Python...and I must admit, I thought it was him, might still be you never know.

The fact is, regardless of who wrote it, it's very bloody funny, and I felt the need to share a bit of humour with my fellow ATS'ers in these uncertain times!