posted on Aug, 14 2013 @ 11:46 AM
Chapter 7.3 “The Fruit that Ate Itself”
At nap time, Kai told a story. As the creatures of light and darkness laid down to rest again (which he still thought they needed too much of) he
passed the time with this tale: “Two zombies were very sad. Since forever, they were looking for one another but they just couldn’t seem to track
down their respective mates. After many years, the first zombie was thrown into a mental ward for no very good reason and ran into much disorder and
ACTUAL scizophrenic zombies and saw that not only was everything not good, it needed a lot of cleaning up. So he went about his humble undercover work
and got a lot of zombie mental health workers fired for zombie negligence and malpractice. Then, one day, the two zombies met and went home together.
When the private investigation zombie was parking his car, however, he crashed into a lake and got stuck under the seat. This did not matter because
(due to the fact that he was undead) he simply cut off his legs and swam out. They lived happily, if not somewhat sexually awkwardly, until they
became human again and then continued ever after. And the sex was great.” The kids were sleeping before Kai got to this last bit. He smiled. “Oh,
and PI zombie grew his legs back once he became a man again.”
Chapter 8 “Where the Hell’s Horus?”
“Has anyone else noticed your brother’s been missing since the day he showed up?” Anubis asked. Kai looked at him and said, “You mean Typhon?
He’s around. He sometimes hangs out in my shadow.” “No, wise one. He means your HALF brother. For someone who is ‘all knowing’ you sure do
forget things a lot. “Oh, #! You’re right. My bad, yeah…brain on overdrive…uh…where the hell did he go?” “Every time you forget to write
me in I disappear!” Said Horus, who had suddenly materialized. “Yeah, yeah, that makes sense I guess,” Kai said, “but don’t blame me. Your
unconditional guilt is blocking my memory which is blocking the memory of you. You need to work on that.” Horus retorted, “I thought Jews were the
masters of guilt. What the hell, man?” Kai responded, “We INFLICT guilt, we don’t HAVE it. And anyway, I’m only half Jewish.” “Oh, of
course,” everyone said.
Chapter 8.1 “Peacocks are Dicks”
Anubis, Osiris, HORUS (sorry, buddy), Kai and his frog came forth from the forest and into a suburb. “This place is more #ed up than your House of
the Dead,” Osiris said to the dog. Anubis growled and then realized there was some truth to this statement. Horus read the highway sign,
“Florida’s Turnpike,” he said, “never heard of it.” Kai was silent. There weren’t many places that bothered him but he knew none were as
ridiculously strange as this one. Suddenly and without warning, a peacock emerged from the oncoming traffic. “Hello, gentlemen!” it said,
“I’ve come to reap what you’ve sown! Prepare yourselves for a battle of whits!” Kai responded, “I’m game. We’ll see who has more
colors.” The peacock asked a question, “What can be more colorful than the rainbow?” Kai said, “Everything and nothing. There is no comparison
to the infinite, for when one gazes upon eternity multiplied he becomes the snake that eats his tail, implying that perhaps he is not, in fact, a
snake.” “What?” the peacock asked. “Exactly,” Kai laughed, “I win.” The peacock said, “It looks like I could actually learn something
from you.” He decided to follow the group.