Test your wit........

Over here in the UK we have a comedy news panel show called "Mock the week"

One of the rounds is a scenario, such as "Things you would never read on a packet"

The comics then take turns putting forward their answers and the host judges the funniest.

So an answer for the above would be "These chocolates are made in a factory which handles nuts, mainly my own".

(Terrible example)

So I figured lets hear your wit! I'll start one off and then after a while will count the stars and see who won!

First scenario:

"Things you wouldn't say at a dinner party"..........

I#'ll start

"Help yourself to nibbles, he was our favourite hamster but its what he would have wanted......."

"Would you please pass the gas?"

"Anyone found the cook's finger yet?"

"Pull my finger..."

"Did I ever tell you about my hemorrhoid surgery?"

Originally posted by jtrenthacker
"Did I ever tell you about my hemorrhoid surgery?"

I don't think that phrase is limited to just dinner parties....haha

I hope it went ok though......

Please, help your self to more Sushi..

*Calls out to wife* "darling did you clean the goldfish out this morning?

( during the main course)

I cracked one of the wrist into the soup...by the way.

"....and heres the kids entertainer...mr gary glitter"

reply to post by Briles1207

"Things you wouldn't say at a dinner party"....

I'm Sorry, I didn't know that you were a vegetarian. If it is of any consolation that cranberry salad had very little meat in it.

"There is a vegetarian option......you can [snip] off......"

Sheesh folks my Eczema is getting worse every day...

More crumble anyone?

John, will you be a dear and run down to the store and get a couple of bottles of Ipecac? I think I spilled Decon in the Meatloaf.

"Hello ladies, how do you like your eggs.....fertilized?"

Sorry, we are not having rabbit this evening, but there are plenty of hairs in the salad............

My Grandma sucked the chocolate off them, but please help yourself to peanuts......

"Hm, does this smell like chloroform to you?.."