Smoke Detector

So last night I decided to cook up a steak. I am not exactly Martha Stewart or that butter chugger with racist tendencies currently embroiled in some nonsense scandal, so I ended up making some silly mistakes and producing a ton of smoke.

"Better disable the smoke alarm!" I thought to myself before battling the contents of my closet to grab a step stool. I popped out the battery, aired out the place and everything seemed fine.

After finishing up with my meal, I plopped the battery back into the smoke detector. *BLEEP*. Oh good, it works.

Ten minutes later: *BLEEP*! Well crap. Pop out the battery. *BLEEP*. At this point I realize the bastard is also hardwired. Then it began.

The smoke detector, furious for some reason, starts going off like crazy. It was like a militant feminist eating at Hooters, the squawking just wouldn't quit and was starting to make my eyes bleed. I rip the shrill bastard off the ceiling, unplug it and resume doing the dishes.

Ten minutes later: *BLEEP*! I can't be sure, but I thought I heard it mutter "jackass" under it's breath. I don't know how the insufferable bitch still had any power, but it was still protesting.

I finally admitted defeat and Googled how to shut it off. Just hold the TEST button for 15 seconds. K. *BLEEEEeeeeeeeeeoooopppp*. It finally stopped.

Why in the crap don't we have an actual off switch for these things? Or at least a timer you can wind for a few minutes or something? I'm all for safety, but I'm not happy about being forced by an unruly terror to drive to the store at 10 at night to go buy it a new battery, and then fiddle with the $$%##@@ in the dark because you apparently have to have the circuit leading to it turned off to reset while it's plugged in.

Steak wasn't even that great.

as you will tell from my avatar i xxxxxx those things the number i have killed over the years ? im the dexter of smoke alarms .

one rental i had every other morning at 3 am ish bang off they went after a week or two of this they gor sorted good and proper .

even dust can set those things off i am a decorator i know best advice the blue plastic caps [ shower caps ] they use in the food industry cover them with that or slap them with a rag hard very hard

reply to post by Domo1
I took a hammer to my kitchen smoke detector the last time I fried chicken. It doesn't bother me anymore.
P.S. Next time marinate that steak!

Yeah same thing happened to me in the middle of the freaking night, and kept beeping even with the battery removed! I eventually just wrapped it up in a blanket and put it in my refrigerator to numb the sound.

reply to post by littled16


I did marinate. I used your bleach recipe. You would have been so proud!

I was actually thinking I was going to have to destroy the thing. It didn't quite get to hammer time though. Annnnnd now that song is in my head. Probably the bleach fumes.

reply to post by Domo1
You might could kill two birds with one stone:
Use leftover marinade to drown the smoke detector!

reply to post by Domo1


I feel your pain. When I stove top cook a steak I usually sear them. My process is preheat pan, open doors, cover smoke detector. Some times that doesn't even work. BleEPPPPP BLEEEPP the whole time. Drop a juicy steak into a smoking hot pan and see how much smoke that creates. Don't even bother with batteries because yes they are hard wired.

reply to post by littled16


I like your style. Could I just plop it in the garbage disposal? I have tools. I can fix it. Hide your daughters, I'm all that is man.

reply to post by Isittruee


That's my USUAL process. I pre heated pan, had everything all ready. Steak rubbed up with tastiness, set out for awhile... Then I plop the butter in without adding the oil and FWOOOSH! Smoke ERRRRRRVRYWHERE! It was pretty bad. I need to see if the pictures I took actually show the horror.

I really can't cook sober. It's weird.

reply to post by Domo1


Haha. I have to cook sober or I get a little to...creative. Usually ends in disaster

reply to post by Isittruee


I raid the spice cabinet if I drink too much. Steak still looks bland, dump everything on it!

Don't tell anyone but sometimes I cook a Cup O' Noodles and make a sandwich. It ALWAYS needs more things I can no longer read.

Spice spice here, spice spice there! ♪ ♬

My new thing is asparagus. Wash it, break off the nasties, plop it (I'm saying plop a lot) in a baking thing a ma jig and coat those sultry stems with some olive oil, some salt, some pepper some fresh garlic and butter and plop em in the oven for awhile. It's like healthy french fries. If you want to get a little slutty throw some cheese on 'em. NOMS.

reply to post by Domo1


You made my day! Funny as hell!! That happened to me once years ago. Those suckers are soooo LOUD! I thought OMG neighbors are gonna think I'm burning the damned house down.

next time use cricket bat on smoke detecter .. works a charm .. relieves stress and no more annoying screech ...