Did you ever catch your wife(husband) cheating on you?...Then you are a schmuck(dummy)!

reply to post by lunchmanstan

Oh enlightened one, please do tell me how many years has your harmony been so piqued? What a myraid of life experences you must of had.

Even if I will tell you that,they will say something about meds and things and they will laugh,although the truth can be spoken.

reply to post by piequal3because14


I think you mean seroquel it is an anti-psychotic drug.

I dont understand you so, I guess I should kindly leave this alone.

BS stands for Bull Sh!t.

Good Luck to You....

reply to post by lunchmanstan

I think you mean seroquel it is an anti-psychotic drug. I dont understand you so, I guess I should kindly leave this alone.

No, I meant 'sequel' ,and they know very well what I am talking about.

reply to post by lunchmanstan

BS stands for Bull Sh!t.

Oh,at first I thought is Bellow Secret.

I think it's getting harder and harder to take the traditional idea of marriage seriously these days.

Society and culture is changing and probably changing fast.

I don't know if I'd go as far as to call people schmucks for getting cheated on, but you deep down have to kind of understand it, or even know that it's happening.


People don't cheat because they're evil, well maybe there's a couple exceptions here, but I think it's mostly natural urges and desires needing to be met. Nature will figure out a way to meet it's needs. A person may not want to lie and cheat but because of society's rules, they kind of have to sometimes.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206

I think it's getting harder and harder to take the traditional idea of marriage seriously these days.

Indeed it is,because the real values that once made up the society have stopped to exist.

reply to post by piequal3because14


well, they haven't stopped existing, and I don't know how any one set of values can be any more real than another, but I think I get what you're trying to say.

Obviously traditional views of marriage are NOT healthy for a changing societal landscape. They just don't fit, not sure they ever did.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206

They just don't fit, not sure they ever did.

If not,eternity doesn't fit either.

I have never cheated, but I have been cheated on. All but one of my ex girlfriends is an ex, rather than a current girlfriend precisely because of cheating.

My first GF cheated with a) her ex b) her ex before that and finally c) an enormously fat man from Norfolk, who got her pregnant then left her with child, after getting her to move out of Essex to be with him...

That was the most ridiculous example in my life, and I never let that happen again, because from then on, if there was cheating, I walk. Its that simple.

I came to a realisation after meeting a certain young lady, about five years ago. Its not the fact that the women I have been with have, in the main, slept around on me that I take issue with, although it is far from the most plesant scenario in which to find ones self. Its more the fact, that they looked me in the eye, and told me that they loved me, and never wanted to be with anyone else, ever again.

If they had said to me "Now "------", you know I think the world of you, but I just cannot reserve myself sexually, just for you." then at least I would have had the foreknowledge which might have allowed me to make an informed choice about how I was going to proceed.

The certain young lady that I mention above, did pretty much that, and although its a shame that she and I will never belong to one another exclusively (I would seriously marry her tomorrow if she changed her mind about certain aspects of her personal life choices), the relationship that I have with her, while different than I would like, is the most honest I have ever been a part of. Not once has she ever lied to me, not once has she ever been deliberately spiteful to hide her guilt, because she has none. In being honest with me, she has done me more honour than anyone else I have ever been with, despite the fact that technically she has slept with more men than any of my previous significant others.

reply to post by TrueBrit


I think your last paragraph hits the nail on the head. Trying to conform to traditional ideas of how a relationship should work will only lead to dishonesty. People need to own up to what they are.

reply to post by TrueBrit

If they had said to me "Now "------", you know I think the world of you, but I just cannot reserve myself sexually, just for you." then at least I would have had the foreknowledge which might have allowed me to make an informed choice about how I was going to proceed.

Those are very rare cases,of people to tell the truth.

Honesty is very very rare quality these days.

This is one of the reasons of why the underground society gain land by transforming the real values that use to exist in nonvalues of a chaotic society of tomorrow.

Unfortunately lie has become a way of life,today.

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


Indeed. I find it very sad, despite what I said in my post above, that this is the way my life has been thus far. Im happier than I have ever been, and yet, it is very depressing to know that I have no future with this woman, because she desires no future with ANYONE.

It is also deeply confusing. I mean, sure, the sex is mind blowing, soul shatteringly good to be honest. But because she doesnt want a boyfriend or a partner in the traditional sense, even though every fibre of my being demands it of me, I cannot go to her house when she is ill and look after her. Hell, she even protests when I walk her home after going to the bar, despite the fact that by this point in an evenings events, she is usually far to drunk to make it alone.

Yesterday night is a case in point. She and I went to two bars, both had live music events going on, many drinks were drunk. Come the end of the night, she made off toward home, and I walked with her. She got lost after five minutes, at which point I took the reigns so to speak, and guided her in the correct direction. So staggered was she, that a cop car pulled up, and asked us if we were ok, to which I replied " Dont worry fellas, its not the first time I have walked the lady home, and its not going to be the last."

Every twenty or so steps, she would do that whole ineffectual two handed slap to the chest routine, which usually has the effect of her rebounding away, having made no alteration to my position what so ever, thereby placing the majority of the motive force onto her. Its not helpful in the least, because it is at this point that she is at most risk of toppling off her heels, and taking a header over someones garden wall, which prompts me to catch her from falling, often resulting in me damned near breaking my back every time we venture out together.

Its only times like this, where she really has very little choice in the matter, where I can actually do something for her that has nothing to do with the physical side of our relationship. Maybe I am a freak or something, but not being allowed to cook her a meal, or be a part of her life in any other way than the part which feeds her sex drive ... feels a little empty sometimes.

reply to post by TrueBrit


Sounds like she has self-esteem issues, and doesn't believe she "deserves" someone. Just an observation based on scant evidence mind you, but she probably should talk to some neutral party about it.

reply to post by Gazrok


I think thats probably true. When I have talked to her in the past about it, she has told me that when she was in a relationship proper, she felt that it changed her in ways she didnt like, that she wasnt free to do things alone, or to act impulsively, as is her nature. I told her that a relationship shouldnt feel like shackles about her shoulders, but put wings on her back, and the more I think about it, the more true I know that to be.

Trouble is, talking to a neutral party on the subject is going to be tricky for her. For a start, she doesnt think that theres a problem with the way she lives her life, so she is unlikely to seek counsel on that matter. Also, because she is mind buggeringly attractive (to both males and females) getting any party to be neutral around her is somewhat like asking a room full of drunken frat boys to talk psychology with a stripper.

reply to post by TrueBrit


I think Gazrok probably has a point about your girl, and yet I totally concur with her perspective.
Relationships are stifling. They are NEVER like wings on your back no matter what anyone tells you. A relationship is by its very nature shackles, it's just a matter of whether or not you like being in chains. Stockholm Syndrome anyone?

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


Depends on what you're allowed to do in those chains....

To the other....well, have fun while it lasts I suppose. Perhaps you always being there for her will pan out in the end. And, if not, then hey, at least you had fun during the ride. (get some pics to remind you in later years)

Also, because she is mind buggeringly attractive (to both males and females) getting any party to be neutral around her is somewhat like asking a room full of drunken frat boys to talk psychology with a stripper.

Ahh, so if she's a free spirit with both sexes, it could make it even harder to settle down. She may be the type who only is comfortable in a relationship with one sex, or one who has had actual relationships with both. Completely different creatures, even though both would be classified as "bi". She's probably just a very loving person with everyone, which isn't a bad thing. Most of this type do eventually "grow out of it", even the ones you think never will.

reply to post by Gazrok


Growing out of it simply means you've become desperate because your expiration date is nearing or already past.

Relationships based on desperation are likely not a good thing for at least one of the people involved. If people weren't so hung up on finding someone, we'd probably actually be a much more social and less lonely society.

Has anyone ever experienced a friend getting married or getting a serious GF and suddenly you almost never hear from them anymore?

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


I think the chains that you see in relationships are there because people arent prepared to be honest with one another about who they are during the dating process more often than not. A combination of the background hum of the biological imperative, and psychological conditions related to self image make people do and say crazy crap. They lie, they ommit, they do anything they can to appear as desireable as possible.

If they carry that on throughout the relationship, its always going to end badly, because at some point something has to break. But if there is honesty, there need not be chains, there need not even be all that many rules, if any. Honesty begets trust, and that begets a whole bunch of... well begeting for one thing, and comfort and happiness for another.

The last thing I would ever want to do to this woman is chain her up metaphorically. Metaphorical chains arent as deliciously cool on the skin after all I just want to be there for her, and support her. I want to be the guy that makes her feel better when shes sick, carries her groceries, does the little things that would make her life just a little bit easier so she could enjoy MORE of it than she does right now. Shes working two jobs, and has a rapidly expanding property portfolio to manage, and she isnt even out of her twenties yet. I just think it would be very sad if she reached her goal of moving to the country, and realised that shes bought all manner of success and security for herself, but forgotten to nourish the one part of her being that no cottage in a rural area, and a fully paid off mortgage cannot actually feed.

reply to post by TrueBrit


to say there are chains is being honest. There's no way around it.

If you're dedicating time and energy to someone then you're bound to them on some level. Most relationships simply take it to a level that is weird and sickening. Face it the only reason people settle down is just that, They're settling! If all people were young and gorgeous, and stayed that way for life, then you'd see a marriage rate of maybe 5%.

So much for "love" looks like desperation to me.

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by piequal3because14

 

I don't think I have been cheated on, I know I haven't cheated.
I guess this is where mutual respect comes into the picture.
I told my wife to take care of me and my needs before anybody's, including hers and I would do the same for her.
I think it's working.

As a woman who has been cheated on in almost every relationship, I am happy to hear that there are men that don't cheat.