posted on May, 18 2013 @ 02:34 PM
I suffer from insomnia and I was simply wondering how many others do as well. I had severe sleep deprivation yesterday and that is what prompted this
thread. It was to the point that I was hallucinating, the room was spinning, it was wretched. Do you suffer from insomnia and why? Is it because you
just simply are never tired? Is it because you can't shut your mind off long enough to get some sleep? Is it because you have horrible nightmares and
make yourself stay awake dreading when you fall asleep?
I cannot sleep because I can never shut my own mind off. That perpetual voice in my head will never stop. I lay awake until I get so tired that I want
to go to sleep, then I shut off the television or laptop, whatever is distracting me at the time, and I will lay in bed all night in complete darkness
STILL not being able to get any rest.
My mind goes over what has happened in the past day, the past week, the past year, the past several years. It thinks about what I can write, what I
can draw, what I can do to occupy my brain tomorrow. It goes over what could happen in the future, it goes over what I could dream about if I did fall
asleep, it goes over what conversations I have had and how I could have had them differently. It goes over alternate scenarios of where I could be in
my life now if I would have made small or large decisions differently. It goes over things such as "What if I lived on Mars?", or "What is the
soul?", or "Who is God and is he totally pissed at me?". I simply cannot turn off this inner monologue. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I find
myself yelling at my own brain, (yes, I know this sounds slightly crazy, but it is true) telling my own mind, "Shut up! I just want to get some
I have suffered from this for my entire life, for as long as I can remember. I have never actually looked into what causes insomnia, and I'm not sure
if anyone would have an exact answer or not. All I know is that it is extremely frustrating and I wonder if any of you fellow ATSers suffer from the
same thing? As a child I thought it was great, I could stay up all night and watch TV while my parents were asleep, I could sneak outside and do
whatever I wanted then get back to bed and pretend like I was sleeping before my parents ever even woke up. But as I have gotten older it is simply an
inconvenience and I absolutely detest it.
Tell me your stories, and if you have found anything that helps you with your insomnia, please let me know.