The Most Ridiculous Quotes in the Bible

This will be open for boths sceptics and theists. The goal is to discuss some of the more ridiculous bible quotes, while allowing for theists to provide context around why they may have merit. Lets try to keep it civil, no ad hominem attacks, and no comments that do not add to the conversation. Ok here are 3 quotes to get started.


Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Exodus 21:20-21
When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property

John 14:13-14
And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.


Discuss amongst yourselves.

reply to post by mrperplexed


How about Jonah being stuck in the belly of a "fish" for three days...

That's about as ridiculous as it gets...

reply to post by Akragon


I agree with you. The bible and other religious text has a lot of ridiculous content. However, you view the bible I guess you can find something interesting in the scripture.

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by mrperplexed

 

How about Jonah being stuck in the belly of a "fish" for three days...

That's about as ridiculous as it gets...

Akragon, post the actual text so theists have a chance to defend the actual scripture.

Originally posted by mrperplexed

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by mrperplexed

 

How about Jonah being stuck in the belly of a "fish" for three days...

That's about as ridiculous as it gets...

Akragon, post the actual text so theists have a chance to defend the actual scripture.

I don't see the point.... its not possible to live in a fish.... its just a story...

But here you go...

17 Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

You're right those fictional books have interesting stories.

The saddest thing is needing a book to find the creator.

reply to post by Akragon

or was it a submarime? just a thought.
but re rediculous parts of the bible, I wait with baited breath to watch how this pans out. An interesting thread topic OP, thanks.

The Most Ridiculous Quotes in the Bible

In the beginning...

Originally posted by greatfriendbadfoe
reply to post by Akragon

 

or was it a submarime? just a thought.
but re rediculous parts of the bible, I wait with baited breath to watch how this pans out. An interesting thread topic OP, thanks.

nope... it was a fish...

NOT even a Whale... just a fish... a big one

reply to post by mrperplexed


Matt 27:50-54 ... And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

I heard that one of them said, "Does anyone have a chair I can sit on? I'm dead on my feet."

Originally posted by Akragon

Originally posted by greatfriendbadfoe
reply to post by Akragon

 

or was it a submarime? just a thought.
but re rediculous parts of the bible, I wait with baited breath to watch how this pans out. An interesting thread topic OP, thanks.

nope... it was a fish...

NOT even a Whale... just a fish... a big one

Evidence it was just a fish
You obviously understand how Hebrews categorised species, 2 to 4 thousand years ago, arnt you clever

reply to post by borntowatch


Thanks!

Heres another one...

Ever hear a snake talk?

reply to post by mrperplexed


Cain said to the lord: I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that finds me shall slay me.

Where is the passage before this where god said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that in the beginning I also created a bunch of people not related to Adam and Eve. I know I mentioned creating the birds and the fish, but creating these people must've slipped my mind. My bad!"

reply to post by Akragon


Or a 450 foot boat carrying billions of animals. A Carnival cruise ship has enough trouble with a few thousand people, much less billions of animals, some being as large as elephants.

Or a guy rising from the dead and walking on water.

I think the verses in the OP are tame compared to others throughout the bible.

reply to post by mrperplexed


I don't know how to reply to this. I mean, there's a ton I can think of but... in what context? I'll point out ignorance if it's actually about something but this is just bullying. This thread isn't really fighting any sort of injustices; it's just picking on Christians.

Sorry but, if a witch passes on an opportunity to pick apart scripture in a thread, you should probably take it as a sign that the thread is in poor taste.

But... it's really hard not to bring up some passages.

Originally posted by mrperplexed
This will be open for boths sceptics and theists. The goal is to discuss some of the more ridiculous bible quotes, while allowing for theists to provide context around why they may have merit. Lets try to keep it civil, no ad hominem attacks, and no comments that do not add to the conversation. Ok here are 3 quotes to get started.


Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Exodus 21:20-21
When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property

John 14:13-14
And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.


Discuss amongst yourselves.

Suffering is fulfilling punishments. It is the true nature of spiritual growth. Your current life is determined by your last one. If you do not complete your lessons in this life you have to do it all again.

reply to post by borntowatch


I do want to point out that Whale Sharks are considered to be fish despite the name.

Even with this it is still not possible to live inside it. Unless Jonah had prepared a special surprise for god. For being a tricky one and made a scuba suit.

Originally posted by Cuervo
reply to post by mrperplexed

 

I don't know how to reply to this. I mean, there's a ton I can think of but... in what context? I'll point out ignorance if it's actually about something but this is just bullying. This thread isn't really fighting any sort of injustices; it's just picking on Christians.

Sorry but, if a witch passes on an opportunity to pick apart scripture in a thread, you should probably take it as a sign that the thread is in poor taste.

But... it's really hard not to bring up some passages.

Isn't their a sea monster in goetia from the books of solomon?

Just want t point out that Christianity is Paganism. The problem isn't the religion it's the people who shove it on other people.

With blind eyes that were given to them from the elites.

Originally posted by XsweetNspiceyX

Originally posted by Cuervo
reply to post by mrperplexed

 

I don't know how to reply to this. I mean, there's a ton I can think of but... in what context? I'll point out ignorance if it's actually about something but this is just bullying. This thread isn't really fighting any sort of injustices; it's just picking on Christians.

Sorry but, if a witch passes on an opportunity to pick apart scripture in a thread, you should probably take it as a sign that the thread is in poor taste.

But... it's really hard not to bring up some passages.

Isn't their a sea monster in goetia from the books of solomon?

Just want t point out that Christianity is Paganism. The problem isn't the religion it's the people who shove it on other people.

With blind eyes that were given to them from the elites.

I absolutely 100% agree and would delightfully participate and a thread that discussed that. Actually, I consider the Goetia demons to be Christian concepts but I get what you're saying.

I was just saying that this thread isn't really about anything so the only substance is just being mean and poking fun.

reply to post by Cuervo


I get it and I wasn't attacking. But in a way I was cause it irks me when we drawl lines where they are not needed.

We hinder our growth and ability to expand our consciousness when we fail to connect dots and just assume that everything belongs in it's own box.

Especially when we are talking about age old beliefs.