How Many of You Have a REAL Friend?

I am curious as to how many people have a REAL friend at least one, the kind that is there through thick and thin, who knows you well and still likes you for who you are?

I remember years ago Oprah saying she only has a few real friends and I thought wow, it would be so nice to have one! i have never had a friend, other then my husband who is a friend but not the kind I am thinking of...more like Lucy, and Ethyl or such, friends that stick by your side when you are in trouble, who don't mind at all hearing your problems and telling you theirs and sharing the good the bad and the ugly. Who laugh at your dumb jokes and understand you.

I thought I had found a friend once but soon after went through a divorce and was not longer financially well off...suddenly no friend.

Hya

I know how you feel, ive been through it for 30yrs
You eventually come to the conclusion that non is your friend really.

Im different
I have that friend in my head..

reply to post by Char-Lee


Tbh I have one true friend. I can tell her absolutely anything and she doesn't judge me or look down on me. She helps me whenever I need, and vice versa. We are best friends. She was meant to be my best friend too.
All we have been through together has made our friendship stronger and more wondrous than ever. I love her with a whole lot of my heart. She means the world to me, and we have a special bond that I cherish.

Peace and love
-nat-
I have definitely had the friends where I thought they were my friend, but they weren't true...they were backstabbers...which really does hurt.

I have one of those.

reply to post by Char-Lee


Unfortunately these days people are only interested in what they can get out of you as a friend, as soon as you stop giving them the support they expect from you, you become nothing to them.

I have a real friend, but unfortunately I'm undeniably in love with her hence i put all my effort time and money into making her happy, she doesn't like me in "That" way and i assure you if i stopped putting my time into talking to her and helping her through the tough times we would drift apart, It's a cruel world

reply to post by Char-Lee
I have many friends that have stuck with me through good and bad times for many, many years. My best friend and I have been like sisters for over 34 years (since I was 12) and I have several other dear friends I've had for just as long and some for not as long.

Originally posted by natalia
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

Tbh I have one true friend. I can tell her absolutely anything and she doesn't judge me or look down on me. She helps me whenever I need, and vice versa. We are best friends. She was meant to be my best friend too.
All we have been through together has made our friendship stronger and more wondrous than ever. I love her with a whole lot of my heart. She means the world to me, and we have a special bond that I cherish.

Peace and love
-nat-
I have definitely had the friends where I thought they were my friend, but they weren't true...they were backstabbers...which really does hurt.

edit on 18-4-2013 by natalia because: (no reason given)

You have my envy! But then again it is good to know such friends can happen!

Well, in my life I have a few friends. Like Paul, Michael, Arron, and whoever I like to hang out and/or known most of my life. I have a wide range of acquaintances that I enjoy meeting.

Originally posted by littled16
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

I have many friends that have stuck with me through good and bad times for many, many years. My best friend and I have been like sisters for over 34 years (since I was 12) and I have several other dear friends I've had for just as long and some for not as long.

Maybe it is me, maybe I am the one that can't make it happen. I knew someone a few years back that I was getting close to, then she told me her son had molested his new little baby girl. She acted as though it were no big deal, she said her daughter-inlaw and him would just have to "work it out". he was a swim instructor for little toddlers...I have not been able to speak to her since.

I guess I do have a very strong point of view on many things and I can't compromise on those things I just CAN'T. Yet i want so much someone who really would LIKE me as I am. I guess that would have to be an identical twin maybe. Even my sisters are not real friends.

Again I envy you your true friend! And Friends.

reply to post by Char-Lee

I thought I had found a friend once but soon after went through a divorce and was not longer financially well off...suddenly no friend.

I was raised in a dysfunctional family, so I never learned how to make and keep real friends. I didn't appreciate the few I did have over my life and they are gone now.

I wish I could be friends with people like in here...

reply to post by Char-Lee

A real friend is the most precious thing to have.A lot of people come and go in everyone's life,but we are lucky if we have even one true friend that we can share interests,have fun and really care about and connect with....It seems very hard to feel that way about someone you just met...I think true friendship comes with experiencing a lot of memories, emotions and ups and downs with somebody....I personally have two or three real friends and i consider myself to be a very lucky guy...But even if we have nobody at all,we can always be a real friend to ourselves,we all deserve to be loved and cared for..

My hubby is truly my best friend. It's totally unconditional. Outside of that I can honestly say I do have one true friend. She lives really far away, and her life is way different than mine, but I can still confide in her. She's the only one who hasn't ever asked me for anything other than a shoulder to lean on, and vice-versa I don't ask her for anything. Our friendship has lasted 15 years, even though for a chunk of that we had lost contact due to life's crazy plan. On top of that, I can say we have one couple that we hang out with, that's always had our back. These people are better than a portion of each of our families.
I guess I didn't realize how lucky I am to have them...Most people can't say they have that. I'm really grateful for that fact. It takes years to figure out who is friend and who is true friend. I don't even have a whole lot in common with some of them, and maybe that's why it works (particularly my hubby)
ETA: for every true friend listed here, there are at least 10 (or more) that royally screwed us over.

reply to post by intrptr


Maybe that is it, I was never loved, as a child no one ever showed me affection in any way. I am a warm huggy person and thank god my husband is too, but until I married no person had ever hugged me, held me or said I love you, or any positive thing to me. I did experience hate and dislike with words, fists and looks. Maybe I don't know how to be a friend. I certainly have the biggest trust issues in the world!

It seems so strange though that people like on your video, are like and even loved for traits that seem disliked in me, like being opinionated and uncompromising on issues I feel strongly about.

It must be really fun to have someone who likes your opinions and feels the same about most things.

reply to post by PutAQuarterIn

ETA: for every true friend listed here, there are at least 10 (or more) that royally screwed us over.

That is all I have ever experienced, thanks for sharing, it is interesting that you went through many before you found some. I actually am now a hermit so what do I expect.

reply to post by Char-Lee
You should NEVER compromise your principals in order to keep a "friend"! A true friend would never ask you to! And for the record, if anyone claiming to be my "friend" spoke of their son molesting their own child so non-chalantly not only would I never speak to that person again (after giving them an earful of expletives) I would be calling the police and Child Protective Services on the lot of them! I would rather have no friends whatsoever than even one "friend' like that!

True friends are like soul mates. They are rare but there is one or more of them out there just waiting for you. Be patient, and be true to yourself and your principals always!

reply to post by Char-Lee


I have a few really good friends, those that have stuck by me, and I've stuck by them, over the years. There are five other couples...and our friendships span more than a decade. We guys like to hang out, so do the gals, and we do things together, sometimes even trips and cruises. Of course, with so many, it's rare that we all are doing the same thing, but we try and mingle activities together, or just catch up.

We try and see some of our friends at least once each weekend, since we're all spread out a bit these days. We drive an hour to their houses, or they drive an hour to ours, etc. One couple is closer, so we tend to see them more often. I try and be close with family too, at least those in the area.

reply to post by Gazrok


That sounds really fun! Even one couple that we could enjoy would be so great. I think trust is so hard that couples would be even harder then a same sex friend in some ways thought.

I thought my Ex found be beautiful, fun and loved me, he said those things daily and called me when away more then once a day. After 22 years of marriage, I found out about all the other women, some I knew, they were people we saw every day, waitresses and bank tellers who smiled and dealt with me even when I came in with him...I had zero clue!

He had women of every kind, exotic dancers to one who was half my age who had a wood selling business, she told me she was engaged to my husband...she didn't know he was married. The ones who did know, like a waitress at a local restaurant that I saw often, told me "well we had fun, why should I care that he is married?"

We built a business together and had a lot of money. I took none of it when I left as I was so crushed I was suicidal and did not want anything.

I guess you trust your friends and accept them at face value, it is so hard not to keep looking for the lie. You are very lucky!

reply to post by Char-Lee


I have a few casual friends; who I get together with once in a great while; and also I have a lot of friendly acquaintances that I see at various social events that I attend throughout the year.

But a bosom buddy...someone who is close to my soul...and knows me oh so well...faults and all...who has stood by me through thick and thin...I have one of those; and I know to have her in my life; I am very blessed.

As I was growing up my Grandmother used to say quite frequently; "Caladonea if you have one good close friend in life; then you are truly rich indeed."

reply to post by Char-Lee

I guess you trust your friends and accept them at face value, it is so hard not to keep looking for the lie. You are very lucky!

Most of us are in our 40's or 30's, and each has now been married for a while, kids, the whole bit. One couple is relatively new, but we really hit it off with them and they live close to us (we even did Disney once), another is only a few years (so still newbies too)...but we did DragonCon with them. The others, I used to work with most of the guys back in high school...

There is a lot of trust there, certainly, though oddly, a lot of flirting too, believe it or not. We all kind of know each others' buttons, so we just make sure we don't push them. The gals will even often kiss in public, that kind of thing, simply because it's an easy way to get free drinks. We have fun together, but don't cross boundaries. We've all tried to be there for each other financially, or helping moves, jobs that needed muscle, lent out trucks, etc.


Really sucks your husband did you like that...honesty is a big part of how our friendships last. And, we've had a couple fall out of the group, which is sad. He was one of my long-time best friends, but his wife is just insane, snobby, and very two-faced, and that kind of crap just doesn't jive well with us. He does steal away every now and then though....

Originally posted by littled16
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

You should NEVER compromise your principals in order to keep a "friend"! A true friend would never ask you to! And for the record, if anyone claiming to be my "friend" spoke of their son molesting their own child so non-chalantly not only would I never speak to that person again (after giving them an earful of expletives) I would be calling the police and Child Protective Services on the lot of them! I would rather have no friends whatsoever than even one "friend' like that!

True friends are like soul mates. They are rare but there is one or more of them out there just waiting for you. Be patient, and be true to yourself and your principals always!

That was my first instinct too, but I realized hearsay from someone not even in the town they are in, who didn't even know where they live and whose wife was clearly not going to tell, would do me no good, it simply crushed me, not speaking to the "friend" was all I was capable of and still keep myself together. One more strike against trust...well two as the son seemed like such a great guy.