Say what you mean, then shut up!

One of my first threads on ATS was to rant about my families current (insert drama, drugs, low on money). Now I do not see this as much as a family. More like roommates who have problems and do not need to live together. I'm a very extrovert type of person who tries to be open about my feelings. Which I can ask for advice to get me out of this torment. In my first post I received great advice. Which I have taken and noted. However, I will need to set later dates because I'm on low income. In the mean time my crazy family problems have started to come up again. Like a broken record these problems have continued throughout the years. My eldest brother Paul is a drug addict. His former girlfriend and mother of his children is also a drug addict and alcoholic. They have two kids together that are not going to school and running wild! Because their parents are dead beats!

Do my parents put their foot of this drama? Don't be ridiculous! Throughout the years my parents have "tried", I put that in quotes, to help them. But they always failed because the problems continue.

Throughout my life I have either known crazy addicts and/or my parents tried to help them in some way. Which has never really showed any positive results.

My second brother Peter who is much older than me is also a bad drug addict. I was born when they wanted nothing but drugs and partying. Peter worries nothing about drugs. The drugs have caused him to become paranoid. He meets "friends" who just buy with him so they can get their drugs cheaper. Peter's "friends" talk to him, most likely telling lies, and Peter absorbs it all inside. When their "friendship" is gone. Peter freaks out because the person he did drugs with lied to him. Like that would never happen.

My parents I have a extreme dislike to. Without walking in my shoes you can never truly understand the relationships with me and my parents. My parents were consider elderly when I was born. Both my brothers were adults. I was the 2.3 kid. I was born into a low income family that wasn't much of a family. My dad Paul (My brother and him have the same name) is a hardworking floor installer.

My mother Judy is a house wife, I guess you would call us a traditional family. I never had a relationship like most children did with their families. From my friends to television I was surprised how much their parents, not only loved their children; helped them out, took their kids on vacation where they didn't gamble, etc. I even see my cousins having more of a family relationship then just me, my parents, and two brothers in this old expensive rent duplex.

I felt my parents never wanted to be like productive parents. When I grew up I was introduced to the television. I loved it! However, it influenced my world view and caused me to want the love and affection I have saw, My parents did show me love. But it was half-ass. When I was a kid my niece Lexi was born. Now my parents are grandparents. This was the first day I noticed I was being overlooked by my parents.

Like I was the bad seed. My parents were more concern with everyone else. That I was overlooked often. There were times my parents would argue and my mother would just take me some where and bread down crying. However, she would never tell me whats wrong. But she would argue about it with others.

As I matured, that took awhile too, into an adult. I started to see the world as a dark and evil place. I started to self injure and look even more like an outcast. My teen years were nothing but drama, medication, and what not. My dad got sick with a kidney illness. Which resulted in us canceling our move to Reno, NV. I was like I couldn't believe it! All my dreams ruined.

Now I have to stay at this duplex of horrors and attend a school where I have no friends. Believe it or not I did have various girlfriends at the time. Strange how having an addiction to self injury can be your ticket to dating.

As you can imagine I learned a lot of lessons from my relationships. Through arguments to sex to whatever, I had it with everyone. I might be overshadow by others. But I love to allow my voice and feelings be known to the world.

Now I'm 24 and really wish I never caused traps for myself. Because I'm stuck in this horrible reality. Now I understand why people escape into books and television. This is more of a rant. I really need to get this off my chest. This is black & white. Because I have no where to discuss this. I can go on and on. However, this is pretty much my life and drama. I'm a individual like all of you whose mentality was shaped my insane world I was born into. I guess that is why I have very thick skin and do not account others feeling. I'm afraid of falling down from my tower and coming back to this nightmare.

reply to post by Phoenix267



Edited because paragraphs added .

reply to post by gortex


It's a long rant. I had to get it off my chest.
Second line needed.

Nice rant.

Since you are 24, perhaps it's time you remove yourself from a toxic place. As much as it may hurt to hear, your family is dragging you down. You can get out and start a new life, you have to work for it.





Oh, yeah, and paragraphs are our friends.

reply to post by Phoenix267


Second line not needed

You can always collect yourself and go back and Edit the OP into paragraphs. You'll get more views on your thread by doing so.

reply to post by kimish


I edit it to have three smaller paragraphs. Left the content in though. I just feel numb like I need to shower kind of feeling. I guess everyone has their crazy days.

Originally posted by Phoenix267
One of my first threads on ATS was to rant about my families current (insert drama, drugs, low on money). Now I do not see this as much as a family. More like roommates who have problems and do not need to live together. I'm a very extrovert type of person who tries to be open about my feelings. Which I can ask for advice to get me out of this torment. In my first post I received great advice. Which I have taken and noted. However, I will need to set later dates because I'm on low income. In the mean time my crazy family problems have started to come up again. Like a broken record these problems have continued throughout the years. My eldest brother Paul is a drug addict. His former girlfriend and mother of his children is also a drug addict and alcoholic. They have two kids together that are not going to school and running wild! Because their parents are dead beats!

Do my parents put their foot of this drama? Don't be ridiculous! Throughout the years my parents have "tried", I put that in quotes, to help them. But they always failed because the problems continue.

Throughout my life I have either known crazy addicts and/or my parents tried to help them in some way. Which has never really showed any positive results.

My second brother Peter who is much older than me is also a bad drug addict. I was born when they wanted nothing but drugs and partying. Peter worries nothing about drugs. The drugs have caused him to become paranoid. He meets "friends" who just buy with him so they can get their drugs cheaper. Peter's "friends" talk to him, most likely telling lies, and Peter absorbs it all inside. When their "friendship" is gone. Peter freaks out because the person he did drugs with lied to him. Like that would never happen.

My parents I have a extreme dislike to. Without walking in my shoes you can never truly understand the relationships with me and my parents. My parents were consider elderly when I was born. Both my brothers were adults. I was the 2.3 kid. I was born into a low income family that wasn't much of a family. My dad Paul (My brother and him have the same name) is a hardworking floor installer.

My mother Judy is a house wife, I guess you would call us a traditional family. I never had a relationship like most children did with their families. From my friends to television I was surprised how much their parents, not only loved their children; helped them out, took their kids on vacation where they didn't gamble, etc. I even see my cousins having more of a family relationship then just me, my parents, and two brothers in this old expensive rent duplex.

I felt my parents never wanted to be like productive parents. When I grew up I was introduced to the television. I loved it! However, it influenced my world view and caused me to want the love and affection I have saw, My parents did show me love. But it was half-ass. When I was a kid my niece Lexi was born. Now my parents are grandparents. This was the first day I noticed I was being overlooked by my parents.

Like I was the bad seed. My parents were more concern with everyone else. That I was overlooked often. There were times my parents would argue and my mother would just take me some where and bread down crying. However, she would never tell me whats wrong. But she would argue about it with others.

As I matured, that took awhile too, into an adult. I started to see the world as a dark and evil place. I started to self injure and look even more like an outcast. My teen years were nothing but drama, medication, and what not. My dad got sick with a kidney illness. Which resulted in us canceling our move to Reno, NV. I was like I couldn't believe it! All my dreams ruined.

Now I have to stay at this duplex of horrors and attend a school where I have no friends. Believe it or not I did have various girlfriends at the time. Strange how having an addiction to self injury can be your ticket to dating.

As you can imagine I learned a lot of lessons from my relationships. Through arguments to sex to whatever, I had it with everyone. I might be overshadow by others. But I love to allow my voice and feelings be known to the world.

Now I'm 24 and really wish I never caused traps for myself. Because I'm stuck in this horrible reality. Now I understand why people escape into books and television. This is more of a rant. I really need to get this off my chest. This is black & white. Because I have no where to discuss this. I can go on and on. However, this is pretty much my life and drama. I'm a individual like all of you whose mentality was shaped my insane world I was born into. I guess that is why I have very thick skin and do not account others feeling. I'm afraid of falling down from my tower and coming back to this nightmare.

For those of you who like paragraphs...I provided some.

To the OP...I sincerely hope and pray things get better for you.

reply to post by caladonea


Thanks I'll edit quickly!
Sorry everyone, I'm not in the right mind today.

Maybe you should consider moving away from there, relocating to a different area. Start a life that is away from the turmoil. You say you are an extrovert......that means you can make friends elsewhere and start over.

Just an Idea, sounds like the stuff happening around there is starting to get on your nerves. Your family will get along without you, they won't change no matter what you tell them anyway.

I know.........Shut Up.....

Originally posted by Phoenix267
reply to post by caladonea

 

Thanks I'll edit quickly!
Sorry everyone, I'm not in the right mind today.

I think your rant is a very good one; you have a lot to cope with.

I send to you a....



And....

reply to post by Phoenix267


You've come to rant at the right place. You'll find many kind soles and lots of good advice here at ATS.

Remember, everything comes to pass. Negativity snowballs much easier and quicker than positivity.
Keep your chin up, literally, keep your chin up. Lol. It actually works.


ETA: You'll find that it is often very difficult to live with adults. That is one reason I believe that a couple should live together for at least 1 year before getting married.

reply to post by caladonea


Thank you, I appreciate your gratitude toward me.
You're awesome!

reply to post by kimish


Thanks for your warm comments. I appreciate your respect you have shown me. Thanks again.

reply to post by rickymouse


Yes, I agree. However, with the low funds and what not. I have hit a road block. I've been saving money, but it will take awhile. Thanks for your comment.

reply to post by secret titan


Thanks for the comment. It's hard here because even though we're related, we're very different and have problems that start conflict. I hate drama.

reply to post by Phoenix267


Also Phoenix I just wanted to add this reminder:

. Because I have no where to discuss this. I can go on and on. However, this is pretty much my life and drama. I'm a individual like all of you whose mentality was shaped my insane world I was born into. I guess that is why I have very thick skin and do not account others feeling. I'm afraid of falling down from my tower and coming back to this nightmare.

Well you've ATS to discuss it, I remember reading your first post, and thinking damn what a nightmare.

Is there a hospice or kids hospital you could volunteer at in your spare time? If kids do anything they make you feel for others.

It would also remove from a place full of poison to a place full of love that may well inspire you heights you have not yet dreamed of.

ETA: When I was 23 (about 2600 years ago) I packed up and went travelling finding menial work to pay my way, I was intending to do it for a couple of months.

I returned home 13 years later still poor monetarily (I got stuck in a marriage for 10 years of that be warned)
But rich with life experience, confidence and a real love for life

Maybe talk to social worker for advice ?

Cody

reply to post by caladonea


Thanks for sharing. Yeah today should be a day of change. Dear God I'm sounding like President Obama. At least I had a good banana and granola bar. Food is good.

reply to post by cody599


Thanks for the reply. When I was younger I loved to help people. Not so much now. But at least I can get out and meet people. The internet is fun, but people are more fun.

reply to post by Phoenix267


Please read my ETA
I can't imagine why I forgot to add it
Made me a man and taught me my signature

Cody