True appreciation is REPENTANCE (Saying "I'm sorry") what The Ego Hates...

In French the word for "Thank you" is "Merci". What greater form of thank you can there be than to understand that you were given from a person's mercy/care?

Some people just say "Thank You!" and they think about THEIR happiness. The happiness THEY have from this thing given to THEM. It is based on self.

The highest form of "Thank You!" is "I am sorry!".

I am sorry that you had to help me in my time of need.

I am sorry that I wasn't at my happiest and you gave me this to make me happy.

I am sorry that you had to waste your precious time in order to help me...


If I want to say "Thank you for taking the time to read this thread!" I can say in a more humble way "I am sorry for taking your time for all that I've wrote. I really hope that it is to your benefit".

reply to post by arpgme


I am sorry I can only give you one flag and one star for the precious time you spent on writing this post

reply to post by arpgme


I'm sorry that there is so much tragedy and pain in this world.

If someone continuously apologizes to me, I do not feel appreciated. I feel guilty for causing them to feel like they've done something wrong. Continuous apologizing would lead me to think they're afraid or convinced I'm easy to anger and might hurt them, emotionally or physically. It also places the burden on me to forgive them. Not to mention that for the person apologizing, it creates a tendency to find the negative things in a situation in order to apologize for them, which can lead to guilt and even self-loathing.

I also don't see how "I'm sorry" has anything less to do with self than "thank you." Maybe when YOU have said thank you in the past you only focused on your own happiness, but when I say thank you, I focus on my appreciation for the person. However, when I say I'm sorry, I focus on my own regret. It has far more to do with self.

I would feel much more appreciated if someone simply said "thank you." If you feel you have wronged someone, by all means, apologize, but I don't see the value in apologizing to express appreciation to someone.

I agree with Damsel.

Further, I don't think the suggestion for apologizing is a natural one. What do children say when they receive a special present? I'm sorry? Why should we eliminate from our emotional toolbox the spontaneous expression of happiness and thanks?

It doesn't seem sound psychologically either. We are receiving things every minute of the day. Must we say, at least mentally, "I'm sorry," every minute of the day? That can't be healthy.

I do agree that we have to keep God and His standards in mind and not ignore it when we need forgiveness, but when I see a robin in late March, saying "I'm sorry" seems to be an entirely inappropriate response.

I sense what you mean Arpgme.

Try this once in a while, to give an effect to the situation when you said I am sorry. I know I have complications with it. When I said I am sorry of something I kind of lock. Becoming insufficient, not usefull anymore. I shut down. Sometimes I can't explain why I am what I am.

Life becomes kind of balanced for me, i'm in a process of calibration. It's very exciting, gives me a good feeling about myself. :up;

Anything can be over used, or under used, I guess.

Thank you or I am sorry are both ways of expressing your affection and care for someone (at least for me they are).

If I hurt someone, it feels right to say I am sorry because I am.
That is, I did not enjoy hurting them, I wish that had not been a result or effect of my actions.

It doesn't always mean I wouldn't do the same act if I had the chance to go back in time- it is possible that the act had other reasons for being beyond it's effect upon that person, but the apology is just to express sorrow and care for the person.

You probably just shouldn't say it if you don't feel that already. Saying it just to challenge your ego or whatever isn't real communication with other.

reply to post by arpgme


I do not agree AT ALL with what you´re saying.

First of all, being thankful and being apologetic are two very different things and should not be confused.

And I do not really think a second point is necessary.

Originally posted by arpgme

True appreciation is REPENTANCE (Saying "I'm sorry") what The Ego Hates...

For me, the title of this thread doesn't make any sense. What does 'true appreciation' have to do with repentance?

True appreciation of what?

You mention the ego in the title, but you didn't explain...What does the ego hate? Why does it hate?

Originally posted by arpgme

In French the word for "Thank you" is "Merci". What greater form of thank you can there be than to understand that you were given from a person's mercy/care?

Are you just pointing out a funny coincidence, or do you really believe that the word "Merci" was derived from the word "Mercy" and that it proves your point?

Originally posted by arpgme

The highest form of "Thank You!" is "I am sorry!".

I don't happen to agree...how did you come to this conclusion?

What would be the lowest form of thank you? For me, 'thank you' is 'thank you', either the person saying it really means it and appreciates what has been done or said or they don't, what purpose would feeling sorry fulfill?

Sure, you can say sorry instead of thank you when somebody opens a door for you, but would you genuinely feel sorry?

I am just trying to see where you are coming from, or what you are trying to say....

What is it that you are trying to teach people here?

So is politeness used to make yourself feel better? I've known quite a few people who use the word 'sorry' all the time, it just makes them feel less guilty about doing something they blantantly aren't sorry about.

reply to post by arpgme


I don't subscribe to this myself.

If I help someone, I'm doing it both out of self and because the other person needs the help. After I help them, I already have my reward - seeing the person do better than they were. I do not need or want anyone to tell me they are sorry for me having to step in to help them - it had been my pleasure. It's the " He's not heavy, he's my brother" or the "no need to say your sorry" thing.

You title is off.. Repentance does not mean your sorry - it means you will turn away from that thing you did and will never do it again. It's an ongoing display of positive action, not an apology for your old actions.

reply to post by Gnobody

Originally posted by Gnobody
For me, the title of this thread doesn't make any sense. What does 'true appreciation' have to do with repentance?

This is explained in the original post:

What greater form of thank you can there be than to understand that you were given from a person's mercy/care?

If I want to say "Thank you for taking the time to read this thread!" I can say in a more humble way "I am sorry for taking your time for all that I've wrote. I really hope that it is to your benefit".

your next responses:

Originally posted by Gnobody
True appreciation of what?

Or whatever is being appreciated.

Originally posted by Gnobody
Are you just pointing out a funny coincidence, or do you really believe that the word "Merci" was derived from the word "Mercy" and that it proves your point?

Online Etymology
mercy (n.)
late 12c., "God's forgiveness of his creatures' offenses," from Old French mercit, merci (9c.)
...

Meaning "disposition to forgive or show compassion" is attested from early 13c. As an interjection, attested from mid-13c. In French largely superseded by miséricorde except as a word of thanks.

your other responses:

Originally posted by Gnobody
What would be the lowest form of thank you?

The one that is least humble (respectful /honorable / polite). Saying sorry for taking someone's time so that they can help you is more humble because it takes concern for the sacrifice(s) the person had to make to help you.

Originally posted by Gnobody
Sure, you can say sorry instead of thank you when somebody opens a door for you, but would you genuinely feel sorry?

Only if I understand that I am no privileged and they chose with their own free will and use of time to wait for me to walk through the door. Then yes, I can actually feel thankful for how they held the door open for me and understand (feel sorry) about how they had to be patient in oder to wait for me to walk through.

Originally posted by Gnobody
Originally posted by Gnobody

I am just trying to see where you are coming from, or what you are trying to say....

What is it that you are trying to teach people here?

I'm sorry for this misunderstanding. It's my fault as I should have been clearer.

By "repentance" I mean it in a general term "feeling sorry". By "thankful" I mean being happy that someone did something for you , and by "sorry" I mean understanding the sacrifices made in order for that person to help you.

I realized that some may just be saying "thank you" as a form of trained manners ,or because they are "happy" without fully understanding the sacrifices made and how each second of the other person's time was given to them.

Another person mentioned something like "If I see a beautiful bird out side am I supposed to say 'thank you' instead of just taking in the beauty of nature?"

My response to that is this. I'm not saying "sorry" in the simple term. I'm saying "sorry" in the sense of understanding what a person had to go through for you.

In the case of nature, we are LUCKY that nature appears to be beautiful to us and we are LUCKY that we even have eyes to witness such beauty. it is something that did not 'had' to be. It is something that we should be grateful for.

We should be feel LUCKY that someone chose to waste their precious moments to wait for us to walk through that door. We should feel LUCKY that someone is willing to waste their time, effort, and money, to buy us something.

Maybe there is a better word and I couldn't find it.

reply to post by arpgme


1 understands the Compassion behind the words but many may not arpgme and feel saying sorry is related to them doing something wrong instead of them saying thank you not for the deed done to them by another but saying thank you for taking time to assist or help. Again 1 can feel the compassion in the share but some may feel its like saying sorry for some wrong doing. For when most say sorry in a genuine meaning they are repenting for doing something bad to another and feel wrong either immediate or in future and so wish to show repentance or recognition for their deeds done wrong to another as to allow the who was wronged to ACCEPT and transmit back an OK I forgive you lets move ahead and advance, if that's the transmitted response. For some may not even accept the sorry if they feel the wrong deed done was to harsh to be forgiven for.

NAMASTE*******

So 1 thanks you for taking time to write and present this thread to assist others in better understanding the different ways communications can be transmitted and understood.

reply to post by arpgme


Many thanks (I'm not apologising ) for taking the time to explain arpgme, I personally still don't agree with what you are saying or agree with your theories here but I think I understand where you are coming from.


I still find it hard to believe that you would genuinely feel sorry for somebody that had opened a door for you (for example), that you would feel remorse or feel bad that this kind act was performed for you.

Hope to talk to you again soon.

Regards

Gnobody

reply to post by Gnobody


Not feeling "bad". Like I said before, I think the wrong word was used. Ophichus is right, with "sorry" people will associate it with doing something "wrong".


I mean it in the sense of understanding the sacrifice made for the person to help you (even if it is just their time and effort).

Maybe I should have said feeling "lucky" that the person was willing to do such for you, instead.

When people say "thank you" it shows that they are happy with what they got, but I mean being AWARE of what the person did/went through in order TO make you happy.

Emotions are always right, they are the only thing to trust in the dark. When your emotions are under attack you may act to prevent a murder upon yourself. Sometimes others are amazed of the punishment of the devil, but the devil keeps on deceiving them. How narrowminded those who follow Satan. They are less than the light. When they don't flee they are set to hurt. Satan's waging war all over the world, selfrighteouss as he is. Selfrighteousness has no ground although they ground themselves. They don't see us.