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Tried fusing a little bit of RnB and rock. This is the first draft of many. CRITIQUES PLZ!

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posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 12:13 AM
Hey guys,

I've been writing a LOT of songs as of late. Lots of creative juices flowing and I'm making the most of it!

This one's called Impact.

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 12:20 AM
reply to post by Ptenjakin

You know what, I actually really liked this. RnB is not really my deal, but you have a lovely soft voice (wayyy better than most of the garbage auto-tuned bs out there) and this has a gentle, sweet feel to it. Keep up the good work, and really hope your stuff gets out there.

So I was curious and looked up some of your other work. I like the covers you do as well, Such Great Heights

edit on 3-3-2013 by RooskiZombi because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 12:23 AM
reply to post by RooskiZombi

Thank you so much!!! I avoid using auto tune. I don't even have auto tune haha. I've only used it a few times as a cool effect.

Thanks for listening and for the support as well!! I'm just experimenting with different sounds and still trying to find my niche.

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 01:03 AM
reply to post by Ptenjakin

Ok you asked for a critique so I will give you an honest one.

The chorus is wonderful as well as the bridge. However you have to much clutter in the song, too many weird sounds that don't fit so you should clean it up.

I kept waiting for the cowbell to come at any moment. It doesn't flow nicely. Especially the beginning, is that a guitar, ??????

Lose it and stay with the nice piano. It distracts from the pleasant voice.

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 01:09 AM
Listened to it some more and I really think it has potential, especially the way you hit the chorus, the song comes alive at that point.

Instead of that monotone drumming of the piano though maybe you should try something like this. Just listen to the beginning of this song. The piano is a little busier, now add your voice to it and you would increase the attractability of the song at least to me.

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 09:35 AM
reply to post by Ptenjakin
Not really my cup of tea but I thought it was nice. The song could do without the random sounds that pop up as they detract from the song. Good luck!

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 06:47 PM
Awesome! You have a terrific voice and when you double your vocal line with harmonies like that it really tickles my ears in the most pleasing way. I'm not much in to soft rock of any kind but this is really, really good stuff.

I agree the drum line is too overdone. Might try brushes on a jazz kit for a more subtle touch. Then again as it is it's oriented more towards modern tastes. Anyways, I think you have real talent and I'll be happy to listen to whatever you do.

posted on Mar, 3 2013 @ 09:17 PM
I don't hear well, so I couldn't make out the lyrics much -- (not your fault)......... however the harmonies and the general weavings of the melody were really pleasing. Your voice really rocks. No kidding. I would've liked to see a really divergent bridge in the middle of this song, but dang, it had me head-bobbin' after the first six measures.

Good tune.
I suspect if I could hear the lyrics, I'd like it more. You have a gift. Use it.

posted on Mar, 4 2013 @ 01:30 PM
Wow!!! This one attracted the moderators...

Thanks you guys for all the feedback. It's still very much a rough draft and I will take all of this into consideration. I was definitely struggling with the drum line while writing the song. Maybe more simple is how I should keep it.

Thank you so much everyone!

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