If I may, I would like to use your picture and take liberty at what you wrote. From my point of view, and may I say, (writers never condemn each other
but compliment and improve upon each other), may I say that when writing, any story or plot should sound as true to life as possible. With that in
mind I'd like to take a crack at it. And, by the way, what you wrote was done bad in any way. So here goes my effort. Excuse any misspellings.
Ican Doit, the self admired explorer descended the cliffs of Jarebosi and into the bowels of the jungle below. Hardly any sane person take such a
risk, but then, Ican Doit wasn't just anybody, he was an explorer. The newspaper article told of his many prior exploits such as the one where he
tried to cross the Sahara desert with only an umbrella and a makeshift moisture collector that he invented himself. The article said he was listed as
missing and had been for about four months now. It was anybody's guess where he is now or ended up. He did mention something about a lost city called
Nvrgnafndit that he claimed was built by ancient aliens related somehow to the Annunaki.
Ican had pushed his way along the water's edge trying to keep away from the small Zippo lizards so named for the sound they made whenever they
attacked. They weren't harmful, just a pain in the ass to keep shaking off your legs as you walked. The moonlight above bristled on the ripples of
water below. For a brief moment he took it in. The gentle warm moist breeze of the jingle behind him felt soothing and yet it's smell spoke of the
constant life and death struggle for survival, predator and prey scenarios that were played out on a constant daily basis. "Why was I doing this ?" I
kept asking myself as I followed the footprints made in the mud that belonged to Ican.
Several days had passed since entering the jungle. Sunlight seemed but a memory in a place where there was only a dim twilight and the sense of danger
everywhere. And then there it was gleaming in the moonlight as the jungle seemed to fear and stop it's encroachment upon what seemed like sacred
ground. High up on the wall a fire much like a bon fire held for hundreds, ablaze, and the sound of drumming could be heard in the distance. " I'm a
fool ! " I told myself, " What am I doing ? These people would probably kill me or worse once they saw me. I should have turned around when I passed
the river's edge, but no, I just kept going, like any foolish wanderer would."
Ironically, there were stairs leading up the side of the city wall that had to be at least two hundred feet high. In my heart I told myself I was
nuts. gonzo, ring a ding dingy, and then I started the climb which took a full two hours to do, but I finally made it to the top. The bon fire raged,
but where were all the people ? I asked myself.
A small voice called to me from the darkness behind the fire. " Tojay, is that you you dumb nut ? " I walked over and to my surprize it was Ican,
sitting there on the ground next to the walls edge drinking a bottle of beer. I rubbed my eyes like a man in a daze, " Ican, I heard people. " Ican
laughed, " You heard this, " he said pointing over at a megaphone attached to a portable disk player. I laughed with delight as he tossed me a beer
and I opened it and sat down beside him. " So, my good friend, how do we get back cause I lost my way. " Ican took a sip of beer and smiled, " That's
just it Tojay, you can't go back, only up. " My eyes wrinkled with confusion and wonder at the same time, " Up ? What do you mean up ? " Ican gave his
bottle a backhand toss over the edge of the wall and wiped his beard with the back of his hand. The bottle never made any sound below. " My friend,
this is a spaceport, an exit facility to that star up there. " I looked up to see Orion looking down at us. " Come on man, how do we get us back to
the town ?" Ican stood up, " Time to go man ! " I stood up with him as the ground began to shake. Suddenly a feeble glow began to eminate from our
bodies, from what who knew, but it grew in intensity. There was a high pitch schrill and then the sky above began to open up and a pulling sensation
took hold of us.
The news article told about a couple of explorers who tried to find the rumored lost city of Nvrgnafndit. Steven descended the cliffs of Jarebosi to
the edge of the jungle below. The moonlight bristled heavily upon the ripples of water of the great lake Zumbi casting light shadows all around. He
kept close to the river's edge as he walked to avoid the zippo lizards, nasty little pests that clung to your pantlegs like children on an ice cream
truck. Steven disappeared into the jungle night never to be seen or heard from again.
edit on 2-3-2013 by Fromabove because: (no reason given)