Verbally Abused by a Ranting Mad Man - then not taken seriously by the police when incident reported

Today I was yelled at and abused by a ranting lunatic – he sprayed his spittle all over me and eyeballed me with his lumpy jaundiced eyes. Up close and terrifying.



This was all over a parking space I have been using perfectly legally for 20 years on and off. He, new to the neighbourhood has decided that there is not enough space to get his car past my car. He asked me to move my car – I did so without protest and without a problem.

Thus he was able to move his car past, in actual fact I would have been able to manoeuvre a Sherman tank past, but he is clearly a useless driver [I may be a woman but I used to drive for my job].

Next thing I know he has leapt out of his car without provocation and is stormin’ normin’ towards me! Teeth bared, jaws clenched and frontal lobe throbbing!!!

He was shouting, his voice was loud, his arms were being waved around and he was practically spitting in my face with his anger and venom. This felt very, very uncomfortable – I was terrified. He said something along the lines that he was ‘’ very angry’’ ‘’ he had had enough’’ ‘’ I don’t like you’’ and continued in a verbal tirade of abuse for approximately several minutes.

BTW he does not know me – I have never spoken to him before.

This is from WW2 a govt campaign and is good advice:



I hate to admit this but I am actually very English and I hate shouting and scenes... so I stood my ground, did not back away as he shoved his face into mine and politely in a very measured voice said to him:

‘’ do not speak to me in such an aggressive and rude manner please’’

Well this enraged him and he went on and on in a fit of rage – his face looked like it was going to burst in a red blob of anger.

I was actually frightened and felt he was going to hit me, but I refused to back away and I refused to move and I spoke to him calmly and asked him to stop shouting.

Anyway – after a further tirade of abuse he left and I was left feeling very shaken and thought, I am going to report him to the police. Why? I think he might be a dangerous man, and he frightened me.

All though I had miraculously managed to maintain my demeanour I was actually shocked by his vitriol and the violence of his outbursts.

At the police station – the PC was very unhelpful, she spoke to me only through the plastic barrier, and in front of other waiting people – so no privacy there.

She also told me that it was my word against his, so if the police did agree to ‘talk’ to him they would have to ‘talk’ to me also.

I explained that he was a big man and as she could see I was a small woman and I was the victim of scary abuse, she said, yes but maybe he will say he was scared by your abuse. I could not believe it !!

Then she told me – we don’t deal with these complaints you have to go to another police station and anyway that is the way society is these days.

I pointed out that I have lived in this society for 40 odd years and never in my life have I been subjected to such verbal abuse. She just shrugged her shoulders and said –

‘well that is the way it is these days’.

Essentially, the police are meant to be there to protect us and I was made to feel as if I had done something wrong by complaining.

When did the police become such political pawns, such un empathetic thugs who parade around in day glo / high vis jackets and barely listen to a word you say? paramilitarary political enforcers.



In the England I grew up in – the police were more like this:

Why did he shout at you?

You didn't seem to include the whole story.

reply to post by nomnom


I was parked in a parking space and he did not think he could get his car past, he asked my sister if I could move my car, so I immediately got in my car and moved it - then he drove past. It was outside her house. He as stated moved his car without a problem and then stopped his car got out and exploded.

I was parked legally, same place I have been using for 20 years, and others use.

He is new to the area and does not think that this particular spot should be used to park cars. Parking is at a premium and if I am not parked there someone else is.

That was it !!

I want to know why the police allow such abuse and refuse to do anything ? Why do some men explode in this irrational and aggressive way ? I can only think they hate women and are aggressive bullies or dangerous violent men.

I did not look at him or engage him - I just did as I was asked and was walking away when attacked.

Same thing hand to me a few years ago. A woman who works in a local shop went crazy at me for parking my car directly in front of he shop because my brother in law lives next door and I was visiting him.
They don't get on and haven't for years for reasons I won't bother you with, but anyway, I had just opened the car door and she was shouting and swearing abuse at me. I had,never ever met this person in my life although I had heard about her from my brother in law.
She was inches from my face and I got spittle as well from her roaring and screaming because of where I had parked.
My wife who was with me was wondering what was going on and we just left and headed to where we were going .
When the crazy woman saw we were not going to get involved in a slagging match , saw red nd said she was going to smash my car up.
At this, I drove into the driveway of my brother in laws house and phones the police because she said I was drunk and spat at me.
Police came and charged her for spitting and disturbing the piece and was taken away in the police van.
She was up in court next day after spending the night in the cells and fined £200 plus to keep the piece for a year.
Never seen her since!


Dog and star to show not all men drivers are as bad as the one you met....

reply to post by HelenConway


It's not against the law to yell at someone, or be angry, or show it.

You could have walked away, but YOU chose to stand there and take it.

There is nothing for police to do here.

I suggest you grow thicker skin and learn to walk away from crazy people in the future.

Again, the man by your own account didn't do anything illegal or unlawful. If an officer was present, he could of asked him to leave...

[I'm in no way justifying his bad behavior. It's just not against the law. Also, sometimes people need to be yelled at. This being your side of the story, I'm sure it didn't go exactly how you tell it.]

Originally posted by Laykilla
reply to post by HelenConway

 

It's not against the law to yell at someone, or be angry, or show it.

You could have walked away, but YOU chose to stand there and take it.

There is nothing for police to do here.

I suggest you grow thicker skin and learn to walk away from crazy people in the future.

Again, the man by your own account didn't do anything illegal or unlawful. If an officer was present, he could of asked him to leave...

It's called disturbing the piece here and you can be charged for it if you make enough noise....

Disturbing the peace is a crime generally defined as the unsettling of proper order in a public space through one's actions. This can include creating loud noise by fighting or challenging to fight, disturbing others by loud and unreasonable noise (including loud music), or using offensive words. Disturbing the peace is typically considered a misdemeanor or an infraction depending on the jurisdiction and is often punishable by either a fine or a brief term in jail. On other rare occasions it is considered an ordinance violation, the lowest level of offence. In most Commonwealth jurisdictions, a person held in breach of the peace will not have a criminal record entered against their name[citation needed], which record could otherwise hurt the person's employment prospects (often seriously) and could adversely affect how he or she is viewed and treated by law-enforcement authorities, e.g., what if any bond he or she is granted if arrested in the future.

reply to post by scotsdavy1


wow - at least the police took you seriously.
I physically drove to the police station and relayed my story and as stated the police office who was a hard faced woman said that it wa smy word against his, and if they ' spoke' to him they would also have to ' speak' to me - even though I have done nothing wrong.

The way the police handled thus far it disgusts me. She was almost threatening me for reporting him.

reply to post by HelenConway


As nomnom said, there are two sides to every story, so I won't comment on the issue.

The thing I will say though is that the police shouldn't be treating you like that. It's not their fault, they're being systematically decimated from the ground up by the politicians that are traditionally their friends, they are being asked to work harder and longer for less pay in less safe conditions in a society that is increasingly marginalising them, so obviously some of them will become disillusioned and depressed, but even so they should maintain the standards of professionalism which we've always been so proud of in decades gone by.

I'm not going to advise you to complain about the individual officer, because that will serve nothing but your emotions. The officer will be reprimanded by an inspector who doesn't care which will make the officer feel further distanced from the public, widening the chasm between us and them. What I would suggest is that you find out who your local community officer (not PCSO/plazzy plod, the real officer in charge of your area) and go to the next meeting with him/her and discuss the issue of how you were treated in the station and how it made you feel.

Hopefully if you approach the outreach officer in a friendly manner, he or she will have a quiet word with the rest of the station and the officer in question will have an epiphany about her demeanour towards you and the public in general.

I wonder if I'm just being naive, but the next time I see a real officer walking the street I'm going to let them know that I appreciate them and their work. Maybe if everyone did that, the police would start to feel like a part of the public again.

Edit: in your later post you talk about the officer trying to discourage you from making an official complaint about the man - that's probably true. As I said, the police are being worked harder while being cut. They have dozens of active cases per officer at any given moment and they have targets to meet which have officially been abolished, but they'll still be sacked for not meeting them. They would get no detections out of this case, while it would take up a good 12 hours of working time to complete the back and forth, and all the forms in triplicate etc. For a better insight in to policing modern Britain, have a read of Inspector Gadget's blog - if you read from a few years ago to now, the situation looks bleak - this particular inspector regularly runs night shifts, and I think his division has been cut from 18 officers to 6 over the last 5 years.

Originally posted by Laykilla
reply to post by HelenConway

 

It's not against the law to yell at someone, or be angry, or show it.

You could have walked away, but YOU chose to stand there and take it.

There is nothing for police to do here.

I suggest you grow thicker skin and learn to walk away from crazy people in the future.

Again, the man by your own account didn't do anything illegal or unlawful. If an officer was present, he could of asked him to leave...

Disagree - it is illegal to verbally harrass someone and make them feel threatened and unsafe.

It is not acceptable too. I had to stand there otherwise he would think he could just bully me willy nilly.
i am NOT having it. I will NOT be treated like dirt by some scum bag - so don't stick up for him and don't tell me it is not against the law - IT IS.

See above post re woman getting arrested.

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by scotsdavy1

 

wow - at least the police took you seriously.
I physically drove to the police station and relayed my story and as stated the police office who was a hard faced woman said that it wa smy word against his, and if they ' spoke' to him they would also have to ' speak' to me - even though I have done nothing wrong.

The way the police handled thus far it disgusts me. She was almost threatening me for reporting him.

She was a total nut job and I would never hit a woman but didn't want my wife to hit her and get charged for assault.

reply to post by Dispo


There are NOT two sides to this story,
I have clearly explained what happened.
I am telling the truth and nom nom did not say that - he asked me to explain the details again.

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by Laykilla
reply to post by HelenConway

 

It's not against the law to yell at someone, or be angry, or show it.

You could have walked away, but YOU chose to stand there and take it.

There is nothing for police to do here.

I suggest you grow thicker skin and learn to walk away from crazy people in the future.

Again, the man by your own account didn't do anything illegal or unlawful. If an officer was present, he could of asked him to leave...

It's called disturbing the piece here and you can be charged for it if you make enough noise....

Disturbing the peace can only be enforced in the presence of an officer. I.E. The officer would have had to bear witness himself. Also, you would be asked to vacate first.

99.9999% of the time. If you are drunk and just completely incoherent and causing a massive scene, you could be arrested.

Telling someone off is not illegal. Telling someone off for 20 minutes and challenging them to a fight, and throwing things around and being disorderly and disruptive to numerous people in a public space is a different story.

Me thinks you haven't a clue how "Disturbing the peace" works at all.

Originally posted by Dispo
reply to post by HelenConway

 

. What I would suggest is that you find out who your local community officer (not PCSO/plazzy plod, the real officer in charge of your area) and go to the next meeting with him/her and discuss the issue of how you were treated in the station and how it made you feel.

.

I have sent an email to the local officer. That is not the point though - police officers are meant to protect and serve. That is the public. Not their own agenda,

Originally posted by HelenConway
he asked me to explain the details again.

You didn't seem to include the whole story.

And also said that there are two sides to every story.

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by Dispo

 

There are NOT two sides to this story,
I have clearly explained what happened.
I am telling the truth and nom nom did not say that - he asked me to explain the details again.

I believe you, I have met people like that as I explained above. He probably got more madder because there was no reaction from you.
Good for you to stand your ground

Originally posted by Laykilla

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by Laykilla
reply to post by HelenConway

 

It's not against the law to yell at someone, or be angry, or show it.

You could have walked away, but YOU chose to stand there and take it.

There is nothing for police to do here.

I suggest you grow thicker skin and learn to walk away from crazy people in the future.

Again, the man by your own account didn't do anything illegal or unlawful. If an officer was present, he could of asked him to leave...

It's called disturbing the piece here and you can be charged for it if you make enough noise....

Disturbing the peace can only be enforced in the presence of an officer. I.E. The officer would have had to bear witness himself. Also, you would be asked to vacate first.

99.9999% of the time. If you are drunk and just completely incoherent and causing a massive scene, you could be arrested.

Telling someone off is not illegal. Telling someone off for 20 minutes and challenging them to a fight, and throwing things around and being disorderly and disruptive to numerous people in a public space is a different story.

Me thinks you haven't a clue how "Disturbing the peace" works at all.

No one was drunk - just a man threatening me. It is illegal I assure you.

reply to post by HelenConway


It's not the officer's fault. As I said, they're being crushed by politics and the public. They're people, not robots.

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by Dispo

 

There are NOT two sides to this story,
I have clearly explained what happened.
I am telling the truth and nom nom did not say that - he asked me to explain the details again.

I believe you, I have met people like that as I explained above. He probably got more madder because there was no reaction from you.
Good for you to stand your ground

thank you.

yes my sister who was watching said that was what happened.

I did not cry or move away and he kept walking away from me and then coming right up to my face again, at least 3 times. I thought he was going to hit me.

BUT I was NOT going to move,

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by Dispo

 

There are NOT two sides to this story,
I have clearly explained what happened.
I am telling the truth and nom nom did not say that - he asked me to explain the details again.

There are ALWAYS TWO sides to a story.

His account is 100% going to differ from yours. I'm banking that you're consistently inconveniencing this man and you were unaware of it.

Just because you don't know him, doesn't mean he doesn't know you. Maybe you're just oblivious to him, but you're on his radar because you park like a child and think you don't.

Just by saying there isn't two sides of the story proves to me that your version cannot be trusted.

I do know what disturbing the piece means, you can troll on to someone else's post if you want because you seem to want an argument here. Maybe you are the guy she is talking about?


Think you will find shouting is included here :