posted on Oct, 25 2004 @ 05:20 AM
This is absolutely hilarious! I'm sorry that I pasted the whole thing and disn't offer a link, but I couldn't find one. I found this copied at
anotrher site. If anyone knows where I might get a link to this, please reply so that I might not face the wrath of someone this witty!!
Voters express fury at US election débâcle
Millions ineligible to vote, despite assurances
by Flash Gorman
A tsunami-sized wave of disappointment has swept over the UK as the population begins to realise — despite clear indications to the contrary — that it
cannot vote in the upcoming American presidential election. Blanket coverage of the contest in the UK media has whipped British voters into a frenzy
and led many to believe that they would be able to participate.
Local councils have been inundated with angry people asking why they have not yet received their polling cards and little old ladies have been ringing
both the Democrat and Republican head offices in America, demanding to know when they will be sending a car to take them to the polling station.
We spoke to Dave from Guildford who voiced the sentiments of millions when he said: “If we can’t vote then why is it on the fuc*king telly or the time
then? I’d got all excited about it as it seems a lot more glamorous than the UK election and now I find out its just for Americans. What a rip-off”.
A spokesman for the BBC was quick to point out that as A Public Service it has a legal obligation to include some news about stuff that happens in
other countries. “Normally we just chuck a few earthquakes and famines into the mix but we thought that the America election would interest the
British viewer — especially with all those balloons and ticker-tape they go in for.”
The spokesman was also keen to point out they had also given coverage to other foreign elections such as that in Algeria (one minute on Radio 4) and
the recent nominations for “Warlord of the Year” in Afghanistan (caption contest on Have I Got News for You).
There is a ray of hope, however, for frustrated trans-Atlantic voters. President Bush has recently expressed an interest in extending the Florida
electoral roll — following the locals’ poor performance in the last election. Mr Bush may allow voters from other countries to take up some of the
Floridian slack, provided they are capable of putting a cross next to his name.