What is your funniest, or strangest holiday experience?

I was chatting with another lovely ATSer about funny things that have happend during the holidays.
I am sure people wiill have loads of stories, and I would love to hear them.

Me: we had this very white fluffly cat. And we had a microwave on a nice stand, with a candle on it. The cat jumped onto the microwave to get attention, her tail landed on top of the candle, and caught fire.

A smoking cat went flying out of the room faster then you could blink.

Two hours later, the stupid cat jumped up on the microwave, her tail went over the candleflame...AGAIN!

So we had a cat with half the hair missing on its tail, and the smell of burnt fur for 2 hours on Christmas eve, right before company was coming over.

.


Happy Holidays everyone!

reply to post by nixie_nox


The year was 1987. I was 15 and my entire family came to my parents house for Christmas and I was tasked with video taping all of the holiday cheer. It was an amazing Christmas, we had such a wonderful time. Presents were exchanged, great food, Christmas carols, ect...I sent everyone in my family home with a copy, I was so proud of my little Christmas movie I had made! The thing is, I didn't actually watch it until the day after everyone left for home with their own copy. It was great for the first hour, then right in the middle of my family sitting around my living room singing Deck the Halls.......the screen went blank. You hear 2 kids choking and laughing hysterically, then one says "sh*& take the lens cap off bwahahahahaha!" then you see me and the neighbor girl butt naked in a cloud of smoke just goin' at it like only 15 year old kids can do. A few minutes later it blips back to my family singing Christmas songs again. I had accidentally taped over a drug fueled porn we had made a week earlier. My entire family had a copy. I still hear about it to this day.

We have a few funny ones, coming from a rather large family... but the latest was on Thanksgiving when we were showing old family movies and one my nephew took of the past Christmas... he was 13 when he took the video. Half of it was close ups of folks butts as he walked around.. zooming in on their rear ends. His embarrassment as we were watching it was the BEST part.

My great grandmother had parkinsons disease. She also had a BAD habit of peeking at her own presents the night before xmas while we were all asleep. We get up and there are all of these mangled presents. All had her name on them. She shook so bad with the parkinsons that she was unable to retape the presents properly.... and then DENIED it was her who did it. Not as in really denied it.. it was all in fun and she was joking. BUT.. she DID in fact HAVE to peek....

When my brother in law was home for xmas from being deployed for quite some time.. and shipping out quickly again after Christmas... he brought home some presents. They were all wrapped in the same paper. He handed his presents out and my mother in law ( his elderly mother) opened hers.. and to her surprise it was a very lifelike rubber penis. Seems that my BIL had , he claims as a joke, his penis molded in plaster and in one of those mail order things.. a wonderfully detailed latex form of his own weenie made for his wife. As a joke... again, so he says. Unfortunately his mom opened it. We have it all on film. My MIL is a stricly religious Wesleyan... and if I could grab the frame of the look on her face to post here.... you'd choke in laughter. I swear, she has triple checked the gift tag to what is given to her ever xmas since.

Merry Christmas!!!

When I was a kid, "Santa" would set up some of our bigger toys and set them in front of the wrapped gifts. This was Santas way of keeping my sister and I occupied, should we wake up before our parents.

Being "me" - that was usually sometime around one or two in the morning.

One particular year, probably 1973 or 1974, Santa brought me a TON of GI Joe figures, and accessories - if memory serves several "Joes" and a tank or assault vehicle of some sort. Bear in mind, back then GI Joe wasn't an inch and a half tall. He was a bit taller than Barbie, and had hair! ( and a cool scar on his cheek! )

Santa brought my sister a three story tall Barbie townhouse.

Santa had set up the Barbie Townhouse, for my sister, and had created this really awesome and ingenious sort of "war zone" that contained all of my GI Joes and accessories. I remember that there was actually a zip-line set up, going across the room, with a bar that would allow my GI Joes, and their patented "Kung Fu grip" to hold onto, and to soar across the room. It was really freaking cool!

I awoke, as normal, in the middle of the night and rushed downstairs. in the dark, to see what Santa had brought me!

By the time that the rest of the family woke up... GI Joe has gone a bit "Cheney Doctrine" on poor Barbie and her sovereign townhouse. The carnage was unspeakable. Barbie bodies littered the floor around the Christmas tree. I am positive that war crimes and atrocities were committed - even if I was too young to understand the actual definition.

GI Joe had used his zip line to invade the townhouse and, in the grips of the red fever of war, he had done things. It was tragic.

Barbie and her beloved townhouse were nearly a total loss.

Me, being about 7 or 8 years old, couldn't quite grasp just why my sister was in tears, or why my father had set his coffee down and was drinking Seagram's Seven at that hour - glaring at me the entire time. Nor could I understand why my mother was doing that bizarre talking to herself thing that she sometimes did, moving frantically, looking at nobody in particular at all, and saying things like "I did not survive this many years just to let Christmas fall apart. OH NO. We're gonna fix this. We'll just have breakfast and go for a drive. It's going to be a perfect day and NOBODY is going to change that. DO YOU HEAR ME? NOBODY!!!"

From my child's POV all I could think was "What is wrong with you people??? THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME CHRISTMAS EVAH!!!!"

That was 37 or 38 years ago now. That was the last time Santa ever brought me anything other than tube socks, underwear, and maybe a new coat or nice shirt. The GI Invasion still gets mentioned every single year, on Christmas day, at our family gathering. The two years that I lived across country from my family, my sister actually called just to remind me that no formal peace treaty was ever signed between GI Joe and Barbie - and that there is no statute of limitations upon war crimes.

I am 46 years old now - a father to children old enough that they'll likely make me a grandfather very soon. And, you know what? I still think it was the coolest Christmas ever.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


Heff... if I buy the barbie an joe stuff... will you do a reenactment?? I bet that was PRICELESS!!

reply to post by billy197300


OMG!

that is hilarious and horrifying at the same time!

did anyone say anything?

reply to post by Advantage


That is hysterical!

Great funny gift on your bil part. I would have never thought of that.

Keep em coming folks. These are great.

Hell, i wish I had better stories.

One year it was just me, my dad, and my brother, and I had the flu. My dad was trying to set up the tree, and I got sick. I remember my poor father, on the floor, holding up this huge tree with both hands, trying to get it in the stand, when I threw up on the floor.

He was like: for crying out loud! He couldn't do anything. lol

When I was very small- around four years old, my paternal side of the family went out to a very ritzy, authentic Eastern food restaurant on Christmas Eve. My brother and I were terrified since it looked scary and we had never even seen food like that.

Anyways, I don't know the name of the specific cuisine but he was eating this little miniature sandwich looking thing that had an edible handle on it. I'm not sure how to even describe it- imagine two mini sized 'bread skillets' with filling (someone may know what I'm talking about- to this day I don't know what it is).

So we're sitting there and whatever was supposed to be inside of it... crawled out still alive. My brother went into hysterics, following by me as soon as I realized what happened. I remember my mom being livid with us thinking we were just being bratty kids throwing a fit over scary food. But my brother pointed to it and said something like 'Mom! It's still alive!'

It was just horrible at the time but it's hilarious to me now.