Why do teenagers not listen to their parents?

So why it is some teenagers don't listen to their folks?
Is it true that their frontal lobes aren't developed yet?
My 14 year old is starting to rebel, and I am getting to this point
Can't lock them in their room or spank them anymore...
OMG she is going to drive me to :w:
Any suggestions? We do family stuff and I am a single parent.:w: lol

Its what we do, just like you parents embarass us in public by trying to be "hip" and "rad".

Its the law of nature, itll work itself out in the long run.

Raging hormones, peer pressure, stress, curfews, adapting to "the real life," other people's drama...All these factors and more are coming into play at this age....it's a form of an early life crisis....the next one will come around 22,23 when they actually have to start applying all the # they stressed out over as teenagers....

Although I had a fairly non-dramatic teenage lifestyle, I had many friends who handled things horribly...and so did their parents, so things got way out of hand...which is why I included "other people's drama"...b/c when you're that age, your best friends life is as important as yours...and if things are messed up in their life, it will reflect in yours...

I think having family time is very important...eating meals together, doing something over the weekend...keep showing that you care and love them, but at the same time, give them their free time and alone-time with friends....the beauty of cell phones is that they're always just a call away...Let them know that staying out past 12:00 is not acceptable, but don't threaten them with "I'll kick you out" or "I'll stop paying your insruance"....You have to save that for if they become intolerable assholes so they know you mean business...

I dunno...to me, the key things are...don't let them see that their attitude is getting to you...that's bait in today's world.....and be firm with your descions while also being calm and respectable...

Originally posted by valkeryie
So why it is some teenagers don't listen to their folks?
Is it true that their frontal lobes aren't developed yet?

My 14 year old is starting to rebel, and I am getting to this point

Yep, our frontal lobes get fully developed only when we are in our mid-twenties, 25 i think.

Being a teenager myself I should say generation gap.

Parents want to children to live by their standards, children want to live by their standards. Result is a wrestling match.

From a conflict theorist view you could also say parents begin losing control over their children as they grow up, so they try to take back that control and the rest you know.

If you get into those troubles I would say just try to think of them as kids and not as adults, but also give them some freedom, which my parents never did.

I would say speaking to them about troubles is the best thing and spend some time with them. Sorry if I am talking too much for my age. I am just telling you what my parents did.

Surf

Thank you for all the feedback. Appreciate it.

We hate parents (I'm not overestimating that) because you are overprotective and don't think we can handle ourselves at all. We think we could rule the world flawlessly and be perfect in every way and you guys are only holding us back because you are being paranoid. That is where the struggle occurs.

Parents should let kids be themselves to an extent, just so they can learn the hard way. If they won't go to bed on time, they will have ugly dark circles under their eyes, and will definately be insulted at school. It happened to me, and I go to bed no later than 8:30 on school nights since then.

But for some things, they have to be held back. Smoking, sex, or vandalism is stuff to be punished for, but try to do so without yelling or fighting. If we yell, just keep your cool and talk in a calm manner. That's what really scares us: the ability to be tough enough not to be afraid or frightened by a violent teenager.

You said you're single? Did you divorce, or was it a death? That may be the cause of stress within your daughter. Just try to talk to her about it, and ask her what would be some fun things to do together, like the theater, amusement park, etc. Just make sure you don't say "Were going to (whatever, whenever) and you're coming with me.", ask her if she would like to join you, because the other way only makes her think she's a worthless human being forced around by her parent to do normally fun things that are now not fun, because of you.

I hope this can help, and I've had countless struggles with my parents as well, but experience is the key to success!

[Edited on 10/24/04 by diehard_democrat]