I cannot handle this

You should pray to God and thank him for sending you Jesus.....


Because he would much rather look after a family who clearly sit on their fat arses all day not trying to work than 1000's of children dying every day all over the world because they are starving.

Sorry, no sympathy from me. Stop praying to a 'God' who isnt going to help you EVER and get off your arse and try and provide which is there if you look for it.

Originally posted by mydarlia
reply to post by lonewolf19792000

 

I don't blame god..it is more of like please don't do anything else, and what the heck did my family do to deserve this, and i wish this next part was a joke but i went to check on mom and I tripped, heard my big toe crack and now i can't step on it fully.

I am going to go rest and sit with mom, I'll be back on here later, please take care.

Broken toes suck, i hit mine often stumbling around in the dark so i feel you on that one. Hit my little toe so hard a month ago i couldn't even scream, all i could do was hold onto the wall and not move.

Originally posted by pbasonuk
You should pray to God and thank him for sending you Jesus.....


Because he would much rather look after a family who clearly sit on their fat arses all day not trying to work than 1000's of children dying every day all over the world because they are starving.

Sorry, no sympathy from me. Stop praying to a 'God' who isnt going to help you EVER and get off your arse and try and provide which is there if you look for it.

The OP is doing everything he/she can to help the family. How dare you post such a cold hearted reply to a fellow member who is suffering and struggling!

Sorry for you state of affairs I can kinda of relate My father has been in the hospital for about 4 months from heart problems his diabetes took half his leg he is more or less waiting to die .

Now my mom is in the hospital not really sure why .

My brother thinks he is jesus and is in and out of jail and homeless for the last 6 years to only drop by to free load for awhile .

I work long hours I am sleep deprived with a new born and a 3 year old . My wife is a stay at home mom so at times money is really scarce especially when some thing goes wrong with the car .

That's just part of life some have an easy life some have hard lives I guess it comes down to probabilities everyone cannot receive the same side of the coin .

Chin up life is still a beautiful thing find the little things to make you smile
ETA things cannot stay bad forever . it will get better

reply to post by mydarlia


There are lessons in life we all are here to learn...they are not supposed to be easy...nothing anyone says can change these circumstances you have...it is up to you to decide how to deal with adversity...My mom recently ascended and the dynamics of the family changed immediately...it is important that you get a grip on this...Advice is varying...I do believe you need to get guidance from someone outside of your family ASAP...your Dad is grasping for solutions...illegal ones will only bring more problems...not a question of morals...consequences for actions if caught.

There are are solutions to some of your problems...they start with you taking the first step...quit feeling sorry for yourself, this is counterproductive...forget about being cursed and praying to God...take time to realize this is necessary for you to deal with for a reason. I will send you positive energy...it's up to you...in your area where you live there are programs available to assist...use them...they are not going to come to you...you have to go to them.

BAW33

To all the posters telling the OP to stop feeling sorry for themsleves...
The Op is going through a lot right now and it is normal to feel sorry for yourself or overwhelmed. It is perfectly normal and to be expected. Have some damned compassion please.

I'm in a similar position and all I can say is show your family the exact same love they've shown you.

You need a miracle.

Contrary to popular belief God has NOT gone into retirement.

If you want to learn HOW to get a miracle,. I recommend Norvel Hayes books and tapes. Start with this one.

How To Make The Devil Leave You Alone


Don't Give The Devil A Choice


Norvel Hayes - How To Receive Healing And Miracles By Faith (Audio)


How To Receive Healing And Miracles By Faith

The Gift of Working of Miracles

I've visited a lot of churches, all kinds of them across the country, and as a whole, the church knows less about the gift of the working of miracles than any other gift of the Holy Spirit. This is the gift the church is most ignorant of. To tell the truth, they're pretty ignorant of all of them. I hate to have to say that, but they are. Old line denominational churches are ignorant on all of them. God has a gift that is given to the church called the working of miracles.

What is working of miracles?

Well, there are a lot of different kinds of miracles, but it's a power gift, where power from God is sent from heaven down to earth to do something that's beyond the natural, beyond the natural thinking of a man. When this gift operates, God's power is sent to earth and manifests itself to do something that you won't understand.That's the reason it's so hard to believe.When God performs a miracle, a supernatural miracle, it's so hard for a natural human being to believe it. So the church doesn't go into it that deeply.

The average church I've been into, most pentecostal churches I mean, believe in tongues and interpretation in public assembly, but they don't know anything about miracles to speak of. As far as I know, and as far as I can see inside of the church world, the gift of working of miracles is the gift that the church is most ignorant of. Most full gospel people have a pretty good ministry in healing.

They believe in miracles for healing, where a healing requires a miracle. They can believe that pretty well. But I've got news for you my brothers and sisters. When God says He has a gift for the Church called working of miracles, He means WORKING OF MIRACLES. He'll work a miracle for you any way you need it, not just in the healing line. He'll work a miracle for you on Tuesday afternoon while you're downtown if you'll believe that. God's power will come and perform a miracle when it's impossible to do it. That kind of power is available for the believer. But you have to believe it.

The Gift of Working of Miracles

Norvel Hayes Video Playlist

reply to post by mydarlia
That's to bad your having all those problems.
There is a substance that cures and or reliefives the pain of cancer, it's called Cesium chloride, it all over the internet if you look, some health food store sell it it should not cost that much.
For you brother you need to have him throw away all his aluminum pots and pans for one. There are lots of things you can do to get remission of MS. Again lots of info on the internet.

There are all kinds of cures for cancer here at ATS, believe it or not but the work, in this day and age there is no reason for someone to be die of cancer. I know you don't have the money but that DR. Brzezinski in Texas, is curing cancer all day long, problem there is you have to go there.

You can ask for help a bunch of different groups , savation army, welfare will give you a bunch to call.

As for you washer I get tvs , washers, dryers, refrigerators, out of the garbage of others, we live in a very wastful society, half the stuff thrown out still works most of the other half can be fixed very cheap, as you can take a part off another washer or dryer to fix the broken one, most of it is generic. I have even taken a part off a washer to fix a dryer then sold it cheap to a young couple that needed it.
I have a 2000 dollar frig that cost me 12 buck to fix, needed a new starter, and it wasn't even a hard start starer.

You need to get out of rut you are in, all that doom and gloom is not good, you need to manifest a better life, there is much here at ATS about such. The universe gives you what you ask for.

I know, I know, my brother had diagnosis of cancer biopsy, when they cut him open the Doctor couldn't find the cancer, I ask him the Doctor where it went, he didn't know.

My wife had excess eye pressure, they couldn't cure it, God bless Vitamin C . The eye Doctor thinks he did it, I told my wife not to tell him as it would just be waste of time.

reply to post by Pladuim


The job listing are good but oil fields are not a possible thing for the brothers right now, I don't even know if after mom passes if we will even be around as a family, i am thinking we will all break apart and go different ways.

reply to post by reject


for a split second I was wondering why i would want to talk to homeland security, sorry for the late delay, I have been digging in the garage looking for things to sell, found a few things that might make it a little easier.

reply to post by sugarcookie1


It seems like a wonderful company to help people, I will ask my mom if I can take her picture without her wig, She hates being without it except when we are not all around, but lately she has been getting used to it a little bit.

reply to post by pbasonuk


I understand your position, but I AM doing everything I possibly can, I don't just sit here i take care of my mom and protect her and give her pills each 2 hours of the day because she cannot remember taking them because she gets groggy and forgets.

I check her blood pressure hourly and make certain her blood sugar is not high due to her diabetes, please do not tell me I am sitting on my tail being lazy.

I watch for any changes in her behavior because the doctor said it could happen and I do my best with what little we have.

So please before you condemn me, read first and understand, it is not as easy as you think it is.

For everyone who is trying to give me ideas, I thank you so very much, I don't want to get ahead so much that i have no needs, just get a little bit ahead and be able to not worry about things as much.

Today I decided that I am going to make a webpage/journal to put all these ideas on and then i can post which ones help me, that way others can perhaps benefit from things i am going through.

Your life, and all that is important to you is on the line.
The stakes are high. Your motivation is there. You're asking for help. You've been given some.

Let's take all that, then put a plan in place.

From what you've described, you've got two potential breadwinners right now.
A chief concern is money, so your goals should be aligned with getting those people jobs, or increasing the number of potential breadwinners. Your constraints - this must be done while satisfying all your needs, chiefly, the care of your mother.

It is your life, so it is not my place to tell you what to do. So please, take this plan as a suggestion, a starting point, and modify appropriately.

1. Get yourself more time for earning money.
2. Get your 'deadbeat' brother aligned with your goals, or removed from the picture.
3. Get your dad working, anywhere.
4. Find your going-blind brother some state-sponsored help to find a disability appropriate job.
5. Restructure what a day in the life of your mom looks like so that it is filled with more love and enjoyment.

I know - each of these items is easier said than done. You will need to grow to achieve these things. But I promise you, each is achievable.

1. You're currently taking care of a lot of vital functions. Some very inexpensive tools and processes could do the same thing, freeing up your time to earn some money. "Mom, I bought this $0.99 pill container from Walgreens, and labelled the top of each. 8AM, 10AM, Noon, etc. I need you to check the time, and if it is past the time that still has pills in it, you need to take them. At the same time, check your blood pressure. If it is higher than this number that I've written up here, you need to call immediately." Think about how you can automate these tasks. Do some research. You've not been dealing with these demands for years, but a lot of people can. Work smarter, not harder.

2. Your first job here is self work. You need to know forwards and back what you do want to achieve with this conversation, and what you don't want to achieve. You're not getting revenge, putting him in his place, or anything else that could be viewed as offensive. You are framing a very crucial life circumstance in a way that he can understand. "Brother, we love you. And we all want you to remain a part of it. But this family, right now, is dying. Our needs outweigh what we have. We've got two choices - start reducing costs, or start bringing in more money. Families stick together, and help each other out. If you're willing to find some ways to do that, you can help save us all. If not, then hard as it may be, we are going to have to let you go. Because I am not willing to let our whole family go under when we could cut out one member and still survive." (This is hastily constructed. The book "Crucial Conversations" would be a great resource, if you were not already under the gun.

3. There's this weird thing guys do when they get unemployed that girls don't do. They refuse to take "inferior" jobs, and keep on holding out for a job that is just like the one they lost. Women don't do this. They lose their job, and the next week, they're signed up as a waitress, a bartender, whatever. (Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but this correlation has been demonstrated.) You need to find a way to help your dad understand this. Every dollar helps. Walk down the road, and get a job at McDonald's. Or, have him donate his plasma twice a week while he job hunts. Set a deadline with him. You can look until XXX date, then you will take whatever job you can find. $8/hr does beat $0/hr.

4. I don't have the specific information you need here, but the information exists. Start with City Hall, or a State Department. "I have a brother going blind, employment options are limited, and his employment is vital to the keeping of your home. Could you direct me to the appropriate person or department that could help me evaluate what options he has available to him?" Once connected, you could also ask about any potential grants or programs for individuals with newly onset conditions.

5. I'm no cancer expert, but I've been around a few dear friends that suffered from it. Mindset and attitude are everything. Right now, I imagine your mom's is about as bad as it could be. "Mom, your only job right now is to focus on your health. If you worry about anything else, that just makes our job harder. We're doing everything we can. Here is our plan. Here's what we're doing. Now youuuu...we need to start getting some joy back in your life." Direct her towards things she loves. Looking at old photos. Journaling. Looking at whatever she finds beautiful online. Research a few cancer forums, find one that is well aligned with her, sign her up, then show her how to participate. Tell her you love her every day. Have your family do the same.

You have a mountain to do...yesterday. Stay focused, plan your actions, and never stop.
Good luck, friend

reply to post by mydarlia


Hi, I was scrolling through ATS, noticed your post and decided to create an account in order to reply. Hang in there please, things should get better. I understand just how you feel, and have a website that might be of use to you.
It's called www.gofundme.com... Check it out, write out your situation and set a goal there. You'll be surprised how many people are willing to help out a person in need. Hope things get better for you and your family as well.

reply to post by Skarr


I just made a few donation posts on ebay, I am hoping with a few donations, i will then be able to cover their seller fees to sell an old bracelet, and watch, that i found in the garage,

My brother who is lazy told me that he is going to start applying for a job and that he is filling out a 52 page application..I hope that is not a lie, the page count seems quite a bit but i could be wrong.

Dad needs help to cope with moms illness, he sleeps all day and is turning into a vegetable/zombie, not trying to make fun of him, just saying how it is.

My two younger brothers are asking their job if they can work some overtime, it's the holiday season so they are hoping they can.

Was also thinking of selling some old polished rocks I have on ebay, I mean i know people don't like giving things for nothing so at least they can have a rock?

My friend used to do tarot readings on Fiverr, i thought about asking her if maybe she would split the profits if I do the advertising for her, I know again it isn't much but each dollar helps me regain a foothold on things.

And today my younger brother busted his glasses, thankfully he can still see to work without them, just can't watch tv with us too well, one thing at a time though, and Thankfully in like 3 months he gets insurance that will cover most of the cost of his glasses.

I read a few of the replies, not all. I actually read the OP this morning, amy hours ago, and I've been thinking about it off and on all day. I've been wondering what I could possibly do to make it better. There are people who will say, "Sorry," and insofar as that is helpful, OK. There are people who will say to get counseling, do this, do that, it's all part of the Plan, and the bottom line is tha tthose kinds of statements don't actually DO much. I'm always struck by replies in newspaper articles about a "bad thing" where other posters try to dictate what people ought to say. Having been through a rather traumatic and public family death, I can say I know somewhat the situation. All I could do is put my head down and keep going. And that's what you have to do, of course, but that still is not enough.

But I thought of one thing, and if it helps, OK, and if it doesn't, well, I tried, and if it rubs you the wrong way, well, I really hope it doesn't, and it is this:

I think you need to figure out just what your own responsibility is in this mess. It doesn't sound to me like it's any of your fault, so you need to establish the paramaters of your responsibility, perform them to that limit, and let the rest go. And maybe the rest of your family has to understand this, too. Here's how much you can contribute. Beyond that, you can't be responsible for holding the whole thing together. If "the family" wants anything more, they're going to have to step up to the plate, particularly your parents, who really should not be letting you take the brunt of this.

In other words, it ain't your fault nor is it your responsibility. Do what you feel you can. I truly hope this helps.

reply to post by mydarlia


Man is designed to survive, not roll over and die. Doing 'illegal' things may be a last resort but it should be an option. I guess your definition of 'illegal' can range from anything... but why be opposed to say... selling some herbal to get a bill paid? Bangin a car to get some food on the table. Sometimes you have to play the hand you were dealt not hope for an ace on the river.

Know its a hard pill to swallow for some but personally I would do what needed to be done to get it goin. Nothing trumps MY family.


Don't worry about anything though. Obama was elected again. He will work it out...