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Pyschotic Mind Part 0

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posted on Oct, 20 2004 @ 03:07 AM
Indigo Child... He is trying to understand his thoughts and feelings, and for the most hoping that they will go away.

Every single day, I have psychotic thoughts of harming people. Which eventually drove me to gangbanging me being a former inner city teen. Although I am away from the streets I still to this day get psychotic thoughts. On the outside I am a very nice guy who listens and I enjoy helping other people with their problems. I also think thats what I use to excape my own problems. I often dream about doing harmful things to people whom i dislike, and feel neutral too, but I know deep inside I can ever do those things. I find myself day dreaming about harming people in a the most volgar and discusting way possible, which i would never talk about in detail. But although I know I cant ignore these thoughts, I know I am not insane enough to carry them out.

Sometimes I think about putting those thoughts to use by becoming a horror movie director, as I can relate to the new scary movies I see in hollywood. But sometimes I dont think they know how real it is.

This is really embrassing for me, but i do hope it helps someone out there to just keep a positive mind, and remind yourself that you are not what your evil counterpart wants you to be

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