Admit it, you're a Cyberstalker

Serious cyberstalking is far more common than we think. A recent survey reveals that 88% of us regularly check our ex’s profiles and a full 70% of us spy from a mutual friend’s account. The study also reveals that those of us who stalk our exes and their new flames on Facebook spend more time drinking and less time dating than those who just hit “Remove Friend” after a break-up.

That's right. All that harmless cyberstalking that you're doing - it's ruining you. Day in and day out you're losing it and not recovering, you are a loser.

* Criminal cyberstalkers use Facebook as their primary tool.

- 16% use Facebook
- 3% use Twitter
- 1.5% use YouTube
- .5% use Craigslist
- .5% use all dating sites

* Users can make 10 dummy profiles before Facebook bans their IP

Survey of US College Students Show

* 88% spy on their ex with Facebook
* 74% snoop on the ex's new partner with Facebook
* 63% of all Facebook profile are wide open for anyone to view

Since you are a cyberstalker, we know you most likely are a heavy drinker, are lonely, suffer from jealously and cannot find a date or new partner. Not to mention low self-esteem and depression are in the cards too.

I hope you're not married, because that's a mistake.

* 20% of UK divorce papers cite Facebook founded affairs, flirting, and cyberstalking as reasons for divorce

Lastly, to the losers out there on Facebook cyberstalking - Facebook knows you're a bad seed. They have an algorithm designed to be an alert system where they know who've you've been with, how long you look at pictures (and which pictures you look at), and the frequency at which you view profiles.

Have you seen Minority Report, or read the Philip K Dick novel? You know, it's the story where law enforcement uses precognition to determine crimes before they happen. Well no need for magical savants in our world, Facebook may be mandated to share this information with law enforcement so that you are put on a watch list.

This post isn't about Facebook, or its bashing. It's a reality Facebook is here to stay, and you the cyberstalker are not as sneaky as you think. Not to mention you're making yourself sick and undesirable as a partner.



Source: www.onlinecollegecourses.com...

I don't doubt it. I am a victim of cyber stalking. I had to remove my facebook account, change all my phone numbers and get my name legally changed to get away from my estranged husband doing this to me. I live in one part of the country and have to have a phone number far away from where I live.

Have you considered posting another side of the story? I am a victim of this....even here, I had to change my user name......

Meh - she deserves it anyway.





I do sometimes look up old ex's on FB to see if they're there and, if so, what they're doing these days. But I don't think that qualifies as stalking. It is more a morbid curiosity thing. Also I've had four or five ex's find me on FB and strike up conversations. The fact that it never goes very well doesn't take away from the fact that I think they feel it is cathartic to get "closure" or a chance to say "In hindsight, I just wanted to say...."

This is one of those subjects where a minority of people behave so poorly that many others get caught up in the PC propaganda.

~Heff

Originally posted by Hefficide

Meh - she deserves it anyway.

I do sometimes look up old ex's on FB to see if they're there and, if so, what they're doing these days. But I don't think that qualifies as stalking. It is more a morbid curiosity thing. Also I've had four or five ex's find me on FB and strike up conversations. The fact that it never goes very well doesn't take away from the fact that I think they feel it is cathartic to get "closure" or a chance to say "In hindsight, I just wanted to say...."

This is one of those subjects where a minority of people behave so poorly that many others get caught up in the PC propaganda.

~Heff

Ya, you think that is all there is to it? My cyberstalker is also an ex sheriff......just 'sayin...He was always able to find out exactly where I was until I had my name legally changed, even before my divorce.

reply to post by Sissel


I expressly said this:

Originally posted by Hefficide

This is one of those subjects where a minority of people behave so poorly that many others get caught up in the PC propaganda.

~Heff

Your stalker falls into that category of idiots who behave poorly.

As far as the general subject goes. If I were to get a bit melancholy and sneak a peek at an ex's FB page for a minute - that is not stalking. It's normal human behavior. The fact that it can be called more than that is troubling to me because we are creating a society of repressed human beings who cannot express themselves appropriately due to fear of judgment and reprisal.

That, to me, is sad.

~Heff

reply to post by Sissel


Wow. Sorry to hear that Sissel. When "the law" is stalking you, that's pretty frightening. Stay safe.

reply to post by Hefficide


I hear ya. I have a few ex's on Facebook and I'll look at their pics, but more out of "I wonder how she turned out?"

reply to post by Sissel
I think you raise a real good point. While I've made the effort to look up ex's a few times over the years and don't consider that stalking by any stretch.....your experience is the flip side of a real and deadly serious issue.

General curiosity to kinda go Hmpf to myself as I forget about it and move on with my day is one thing. ...people are really getting killed or put through hell by the people who just can't move on and take no though. There is sure no doubt about that to hear your words as well as see the news headlines these days.

reply to post by Hefficide


I agree, the actual dangerous, harassing type cyberstalking is in the minority. Though how much easier is it to create these-types with the ease of technology? A decade ago, you would have to break into their house, or follow them around, or whatever to be considered a stalked. Today, just open Facebook and let your gross needs play themselves out. Again for most of us, it's a curiosity and not a problem.

reply to post by Sissel


In rereading this I just want to take a second to apologize. I am not intending to be terse. I have an upper respiratory infection currently and am not very alert and feel awful. So, though that is no excuse, that is the cause of my brevity and seemingly callous reply. It was not intended to be so.

I am truly sorry that you've had to live through a negative experience such as that.

~Heff

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by Sissel

 

In rereading this I just want to take a second to apologize. I am not intending to be terse. I have an upper respiratory infection currently and am not very alert and feel awful. So, though that is no excuse, that is the cause of my brevity and seemingly callous reply. It was not intended to be so.

I am truly sorry that you've had to live through a negative experience such as that.

~Heff

No, I didn't take it that way at all. In my experience, my abuser, stalker at one point beat the crap out of me for even participating on ATS because he saw it as a place for me to pick up men....LOL! It was the only outside contact with the world I had at the time..

I am okay now, and he has no idea what my new name is, or where I live. I sneak a peak now and then, too, and I agree, peeking is not stalking.

People look at me like I'm ^$*%(#% nuts when I tell them I have no social media/dating site accounts/profiles...

It's better than doing it OFF the computer.... I think this social media stalking crap has saved many woman from washing up ashore.... If I was worried about what my ex was doing I'd ask her over the phone, buuuuuut frankly Idgaf....

Originally posted by dayve
It's better than doing it OFF the computer.... I think this social media stalking st crap has saved many woman from washing up ashore.... But if I was worried about what my ex was doing I'd ask her over the phone, but idgaf....

Yikes............hopefully so, because it isn't, "he said, she said." It's documented.

reply to post by Jason88


I will sadly admit...with how convienient it's become.. I am a cyber stalker
I am not proud of it, I just won't pretend like I don't look when curious. I find I do it to more ex-friends than ex-relationships though. The convenience has made the curiosity ridiculous. It's really not a good habit for anyone.
I know if I do it to old friends, I know others out there could be worse and do it to ex's like you said, or people they wish we're ex's. It does make stalking too easy, really.
& Yes, Facebook does collect data of how much you look at someone's page, and records it, that is truth.
Guilty as charged..

reply to post by Jason88


So according to your post, I can do anything I want, but only if I do it on Facebook am I a stalker?

Whew......thank God I don't have a Facebook account.

If my ex stalks me anywhere she would have to do it here.........and she does. But the thing is, on a place like this it isn't stalking. It's reading. You can't stop people from reading on the web. It would be silly to try. Ever been divorced OP? You know all those sayings about "All my friends were really her friends", and " Crying makes her more believable"? It's all true when the divorce comes down the pike buddy, and sometimes a mans only recourse are places like Facebook or any other site where people come together to "chat". You're at a safe distance while you speak your mind about things and even tell your own side of the story.

It makes it kind of hard to get on with your life when everyone thinks your're a # heel, and it makes it easier; to couple online chat with real life actions to back up those words. So go ahead OP, sue us if we cross the line and say more then probably needs to be. On that note, let me just say that as I'm typing this, the highest priority I have is my daughters' opinion of me. People can say and think what they want, but they need to keep in mind where my priority lies as they're saying it.

This post isn't about Facebook, or its bashing.

Could've fooled me.

You seemed to have put a lot of statistics in your post. That must have taken some time and effort buddy. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you're stalking the stalkers.

If they're losers, what does that make you?

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


Sounds like I hit a nerve.

Yeah, I am a divorcee buddy.

This is about cyberstalking, and the ease at which it is carried out on the largest social media platform. My intention is to avoid the ATS-type posts where people just crap on Facebook and instead look at the reality of the situation from a numbers game.

I also think you missed the point and contradicted yourself (I don't have Facebook, I use it as a save haven to clear my name). Are you causing harm to yourself and others by using social media? The point is harassing ex's is bad, but just staring at pictures of them and following along with their happy life will make you (not you) actually sick and undesirable to other people.

Edit: Yes, there are other ways to stalk, but criminal cyberstalking is primarily carried out on Facebook. Stalking on ATS is just reading, but it's also a view into your mindset that could compliment other forms of stalking, such as placing a GPS under your car.

Originally posted by Taupin Desciple
reply to post by Jason88

 

So according to your post, I can do anything I want, but only if I do it on Facebook am I a stalker?

Whew......thank God I don't have a Facebook account.

It's probably better that you don't but it isn't the only place you can be cyber stalked, and /or hacked. There are other media's that cover cyber stalking rules. For instance, until I changed my name, I kept the same old phone because it was the only one I had at the time. I had to take the battery out, even after shutting it off, and remove the sim card and throw it away. Why? While it isn't a smart phone, even with it being shut off, my brilliant stalker / abuser was still trying to get a ping off of it via cell phone towers trying to figure out where I am. The damn thing would alert me to pings even when it was shut off. If you don't believe me, you're wrong. It takes longer if you don't have a smart phone, but you can be found even so.

If my ex stalks me anywhere she would have to do it here.........and she does. But the thing is, on a place like this it isn't stalking. It's reading. You can't stop people from reading on the web. It would be silly to try. Ever been divorced OP? You know all those sayings about "All my friends were really her friends", and " Crying makes her more believable"? It's all true when the divorce comes down the pike buddy, and sometimes a mans only recourse are places like Facebook or any other site where people come together to "chat". You're at a safe distance while you speak your mind about things and even tell your own side of the story. It makes it kind of hard to get on with your life when everyone thinks your're a # heel, and it makes it easier; to couple online chat with real life actions to back up those words.So go ahead OP, sue us if we cross the line and say more then probably needs to be.

So it seems you don't have a real concern for this issue. Lucky you.

This post isn't about Facebook, or its bashing.

Could've fooled me.

You seemed to have put a lot of statistics in your post. That must have taken some time and effort buddy. If I didn't know any better I'd swear you're stalking the stalkers.

If they're losers, what does that make you?

It doesn't ave to be just about FB...there are so many ways for a person to do this to you, I don't think you care or you haven't sat down to think about all the ways.

Sounds like I hit a nerve.

Yeah, I've got one left and you hit it.

I also think you missed the point and contradicted yourself (I don't have Facebook, I use it as a save haven to clear my name).

No contradiction. I don't have a Facebook account, therefor, I don't use it as a safe haven. That's what this place has been for and it's worked.

Are you causing harm to yourself and others by using social media?

No. That's not my purpose.

The point is harassing ex's is bad, but just staring at pictures of them and following along with their happy life will make you (not you) actually sick and undesirable to other people.

I couldn't agree more. That's why I don't do that. Can I help it that people I know in person read what I'm writing? No. Is is it going to curtail what I write? No. If I said it once I said it a thousand times, if you ( Not you) don't like what you're reading, quit reading it. You have that option. The fact is, I joined up here long before this mess ever started and I'll be a member here long after it's all forgotten. And if there's any one thing people have in common, it's a short attention span.

Stalking on ATS is just reading, but it's also a view into your mindset that could compliment other forms of stalking, such as placing a GPS under your car.

Well, that would be a total waste of money on their part.

I keep telling people that if you don't have anything to hide you don't have anything to worry about. Through all the shiite I've been through in the past 6 years I haven't done a god damn thing wrong to anyone. I've put myself out there physically and professionally and got nothing substantial in return, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm bitter about things right now. Getting pissed on because other people want to keep a dead mans "dream" alive will have that effect on you. But in the meantime, an honest man's pillow really is his peace of mind, because through it all, not once have I dropped a name or a picture.

Not once.

I agree that Facebook is taking peoples' natural affinity for being inquisitive to the highest degree of voyeurism, and that people are getting slap happy with it. That's their problem though, not mine......and if they don't see what it's doing to them, I feel bad for them. I really do.

reply to post by Sissel


Look, I'm sorry that you had to go through what you did. No woman should have to go through that kind of stuff. Your ex sounds sick.

That being said, you're a woman and I'm a man so we're not going to be able to fully relate to each other on this issue because we've had different experiences and handled them differently.

If it seems that I don't care about this issue, it's because I don't. If we need more laws to help protect victims like you, then by all means, let's put them in place. Even so, it's still not going to effect me that much because what I do online isn't dictated by what other people think of it because, again, I don't do anything wrong. And it's not because I'm scared that other people might see it and use it against me, I do it because that's the kind of person I am IRL life anyway. Being online doesn't change me.You wanna stalk me? ( Not you) Go ahead. No one's stopping you. You wanna show up at my door uninvited ? That's a different story and since you're a woman and I'm a man, the results are probably going to differ.

The bottom line is that no one can expect any level of privacy no matter where they go online, and they need to keep that in mind as they're doing what they're doing. You wanna keep doing underhanded things online and spend half your time covering your tracks? I'm sorry, but that sounds very complicated, unnecessary, and a complete waste of time.

I don't see how there is even a crime called cyberstalking........ Seems stupid to me. Opening a profile is not stalking. Whenever you go on the internet, you are leaving yourself open to the entire world to see, that is something people need to learn and accept. Especially on places like facebook.....