The Meaning of SEX

OK...I know...you are all like and this may not even make it to debate as it is a rather touchy subject...but guess what?? It's just as normal as religion and people so...here goes

I would like to know what YOU think the meaning of sex is..whether we do it for pleasure, need, balance, life whatever...I want to know your personal feelings towards it and how it "affects" you with or without it, basically what it's importance is to you. And please ummm E-non lol let's keep it clean here..we are adults and I feel I can discuss it with maturity as I hope everyone else can and WILL..
So here's my feelings about it...
I personally think that, before I had sex for the first time..I was curious and wondered about it-you know you hear everyone else talking about it as though it's the greatest feeling and all..well then I finally "did it" and it was a HUGE let down, I was very confused as to why people said it feels so good because...well it was far from feeling good. Infact it wasn't until my late 20's that I understood what everyone meant by it feeling good. I kept "waiting" for that day to come and finally it did. I did it for enjoyment and pleasure and continue to do so(well not anymore) but, it became a big part of my life and even when friends were over the discussions always found there way to talking about "sex"
It's as if us, even as adults do not really understand it..we just "do it" and it feels good, or sometimes we expect it to, and it doesn't? So what causes this? What makes it so pleasurable at times and then other times it just feels so BLAH...Do you think it adds balance to us as human beings? And mental, I know plays a major factor in it...for me anyway, but why? I have many more things I'll add later after you guys/gals comment on it and share your thoughts and feelings about it...but for starters let's start here...and enjoy!!
Magestica

...I'm sorry, I lived a traumatism experience when I was really young that destroyed my sentimental and sexual life .
I'd rather have sex experience with girls because they are sweet and bot "hairy" like men. But it's rare and it happen only with persons I know since a long time.
I know that sex is a need, and when I was younger I even '"forced" myself. But I grew up and actually, sex is not a problem for me. Men are often really surprise when they try to seduce me or touch me, because I have really violent reactions... I often tell them that my preference are in BDSM

PS : magestica, you have really strange ideas sometimes...

[Edited on 30-4-2003 by Nans DESMICHELS]

I think sex takes balance away, it can substitute but not as solidly as like a soulmate...but then when you find that "soulmate" what do you think you'll be doing all the time?

What a confusing world we live in

I know that reproduction is a trait everything on this planet in inclined to. But only two species that I know of have that kind of interaction for the sheer pleasure of it, and people are one, dolphins are the other. Amazingly both are mammals, or is it. Both dolphins and us are sposed to be the smartest creatures on the planet. So what it boils down to is, that sex has grown past just reproduction, it now has an air of fun to it. Who knows maybe the dolphins have been listening to our radios and said "Hey the humies are doing it why not us?"
Now personally, I feel that sex should be between two people who have committed them selves to each other. I'm not for casual or "f-ck buddies", thats insulting to me. I have found that many people will try to build self esteem by being exuse my vulgarity here but loose or easy. In essence they are only loseing their self image. Others because they feel they are filling a void, but all around they only hurt them selves and others. To me being intimate is just that, being close to one person, and that person only. Like marriage it should be more sacred, but even marriage has lost its value these days. Crazy, but there are more divorces now than ever. Stds are another threat, they are more common now than ever before. Even preteens have contracted them?! Majestica perhaps this should be moved to the debate thread, at least thats where I find it heading.

And please ummm E-non lol let's keep it clean here..

Magestica,

I love you for thinking of me! LOL

My thought's on sex ... I do it for pleasure. Especially after I've already done it for having kid's. Kinda sux though ... I don't get to enjoy it as much after having kid's and getting married.

Antici...










...Pation

[Edited on 30-4-2003 by kegs]

Do it to have some fun and pleasure.

Good thing is....i have my own authentic outfit from work and i can get hold of things!

My man has never complained yet!

Originally posted by kegs
Antici...

...Pation

[Edited on 30-4-2003 by kegs]

Are you a girl, a boy, a pupet, a cookie ?
(I like your signature... So many cheeses, so less time...)

Originally posted by kegs
Antici...










...Pation

[Edited on 30-4-2003 by kegs]

Thank you Dr. Frankenfurter

I have to say it is for all the reasons Majestica mentioned.

I think the meaning of sex changes as we grow older.
when we first reach sexual maturation we want sex just out of curiousity. When we reach our late tenns and earliy twenties (I am speaking from a male perspective here) it is for sheer pleasure but with the underlying instinct to place ourselves as powerful creatures in our society and to attempt to procreate often. I think once we settle down, however, and find the one person we want to be with (and not everyone does find this person) sex becomes warmer, emotionally, as we are trying to connect with this person in a different way. Once I reached this point sex became more fun. I was not Wilt Chamberlain or anything (for our European friends this was a pro basketball player who claims to have slept with over 10,000 women) but I did get around a little and I have to say that once I got married the sex was better than ever.

I do Rocky once a year (Halloween) at a local (and old-style) theatre....

Personally, I think we're talking about two different things here....Sex, and then Making Love. We all have the "drive" to reproduce...it's an essential part of our nature. We also all like to have fun. Yet, we also have emotional needs as well. Sex is sex. It's fooling around for the sole purpose of having fun (at least for me), with no emotional attachment... Something I practiced when I was "single", and I was quite the "freak", hehe....(what Rocky person isn't....never that gay route though....just not my bag...and I was never a fishnet wearing character )

Making Love on the other hand....is what I do with my fiance', and it's more than just sex, it's totally melding with the other person....and much more enjoyable than just sex....the emotional component just transforms it into something wonderful.

I really feel for those who have stated that they simply don't enjoy sex. I really hope it's just a matter of finding the right partner. Maybe your past lovers were just concerned with themselves? Personally, I make sure she climaxes first, or at the same time (though that's tricky), so I haven't gotten any complaints...

Originally posted by Gazrok
I do Rocky once a year (Halloween) at a local (and old-style) theatre....

...and I was never a fishnet wearing character

)

I was, once, for halloween. Fishnets, heels, bustiere, wig, the whole shebang. Almost felt.... good So I don't wear that outfit for halloween anymore.. just to places like the grocery LOL (ok, not really)

I feel for you NANS...I really do. Whatever happened to you must have been very bad to have such a lasting affect on you. I don't blame you for being into women thou..I have no problem with same sex relationships at all!

HKoT~You are SO right!!

Lurker~ You said it well too, sex is meaningless when two people at the least- don't care about one another..but sometimes we take that "leap" before we learn to care for the other..maybe we just "know" that we will and that's why..I don't know

E-non~ Thank you for remaining "civil" but I don't understand why you don't enjoy sex even more now that you've had kids? Seems to me it would be for sheer pleasure now since the kids are already "made"? Maybe the stress of dealing with the kids and working and every day reality of life has held you back? Or maybe you are just bored? Do tell...

Kegs~ ummm...I don't know what to say about this one..except lol??

Gryffen~I really don't understand here...what "outfit"??

And Observer~ I agree as we get older, sex becomes more meaningful and also in my case..I "think" about it alot more and I'm more open then I was when I was younger. Also as adults, like I said up there...we tend to want to talk about it more..maybe to learn more? Or maybe just talking about it helps us to feel more open..this is what I don't understand, why do we always talk about it?

And now...I'll tell you a little more about how I feel about it. Yes, I think about it alot. I wonder about it alot..and NO I'm no pervert..I just wonder and have many questions about it. I haven't been with very many men and maybe that's why?
I feel that it is VERY important thou..and I do feel it balances out the relationship you are in, if you both enjoy it and want it the same amount as the other...and if you are both willing to try new things, not just the same place and same err err well...position all the time..
someone always needs to find a way to "spice" it up every now and then.
But ultimately...I'm sure when two people love eachother unconditionally, sex HAS to be the most awesome incredible experience of a lifetime! I just can't wait to ever find this to be true...
Magestica




[Edited on 4/30/03 by magestica]

The meaning of sex?

its like asking.........what the meaning of life is really!

some can live with it, and some without it, when your young (teen - oap and beyond) you cant get enough of it, sleep with anything going when your drunk (or sober)

but as said before thers 2 meanings to sex

sex ...... quick shag etc

making love ........ taking ones time to explore each others bodies

personally i was young when i first discover sex, sends shivers down my spine now. wasnt romantic or loving never saw him again (didnt want to either). it was short quick and over with in minutes. didnt like it all, i thought to myself that i had waited all this time to find out what everyone was going on about, and that was it, couldnt see what the fuss was about.

it wasnt till i was older in my late teens that i discover the art of Making Love, and to my very much pleasure that it was totally different to just a shag, that lasted 10 mins, if that (cant remember now, it was that bad)

its the sexual chemistry between 2 people that pulls them together, it could just be lust, wanting a shag and nothing more. but if you stop to study each others body, finding there little spots, that they like to be touched.

not everyones the same though, (as we all know already) some people can go wks or even months without any sort of sexual contacted (not always through there own choice either) and then some people have to have some sort of sexual contacted daily, or they have problems.

being someone who has been married 3 times and now on her 4th, (and still only in her 30's) i can honestly say that sex is not the answer to everything (but thats another story)



blackwidow

OK... so where to begin???
Ok I think we can look at sex on four different levels.

The first is biological...The need to procreate is implanted in us, just as the need to eat, sleep, etc. However that need can begin to overtake us if we are not careful.

The second is recreational...I'll admit it, I enjoy sex. It is great to do it for no reason besides to have fun.

The third is emotional...We (human beings) have this very strong need to feel and be loved. The more we get, the more we need, that is where emotional sex comes in. When you are "with" a woman (or man, depending upon your preference) you feel her, you hear her breathing, its like for a period of time you are as one. There has to be a lot of love for this level of sex to be reached.

And the fourth is spiritual...Yes I think sex can help put you on a spiritual plane. Trust me, when you have such a strong release you are for a split second, not aware of your surroundings. I know the faces that I make and sounds during climax, if I were to do either in public, someone would probably rush over to do C.P.R.


_____________________________________________
Be Cool
K_OS

[Edited on 28-6-2003 by K_OS]

I take my sex the way I take my coffee, anyway I can get it. haha, I kid. It's for pure pleasure, unless you are in "love" but love is a funny thing until you've found the "one" I suppose, but sometimes the one isnt the one for you aren't the one for her/him. We like it because it feels good, it feels good to encourage us to mate, I would guess.

[Edited on 30-4-2003 by Lysergic]

Thank you..I loved the part here:
The third is emotional...We (human beings) have this very strong need to feel and be loved. The more we get, the more we need, that is where emotional sex comes in. When you are "with" a woman (or man, depending upon your preference) you feel her, you hear her breathing, its like for a period of time you are as one. There has to be a lot of love for this level of sex to be reached
That was just beautiful!..I really envy you to have felt this way..but at the same time I'm glad someone get's to..did that make sense?
I also think you are right that there are different levels to it...and with age, time, and love...the ultimate love that is...we will reach that final level of sex and clearly it would probably be overwhelming at all times.
Also, I was wondering why when we argue it stimulates us sexually? Or am I the only one?
I'm probably going to get soooo banned for this posts! But oh well...just don't forget me when I'm gone...he he!
Magestica

Blackwidow~ thank you as well for sharing..and I suppose I shouldn't feel bad then, that I'm on my 2nd divorce
It is tough to be married nowadays, when divorcing is so common anymore...we are all in search of that one perfect person who just "fits" and with all the illusions or fronts people put up..it's hard to know they are it/or not...til it's too late.

Lys~ I like mine like my coffee to strong, dark and sweet ohh wait! that was men I was talking about lol..thank you for your imput too

[Edited on 4/30/03 by magestica]

Also, I was wondering why when we argue it stimulates us sexually? Or am I the only one?
I'm probably going to get soooo banned for this posts!

But oh well...just don't forget me when I'm gone...he he!
Magestica

I believe that there may be a psychological link to sex and violence and arguing, or at least it was mentioned on the movie Demolition Man.

I'll probably be right there with ya, sorry all re-read the terms and am aware that I was in violation.

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Be Cool
K_OS