It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
"I was ever so proud of the new sign I had just bought. A metal plate with a hole to accomadate a screw at each corner and bearing the following in stark black capitals:"NO SALESMEN, NO BEGGARS, NO RELIGIOUS BODIES." Yes, it might be brusque to the point of rudeness, but I considered my time at home to be my own. I screwed the plate into position, just beside the door at shoulder height - where nobody could miss it. It seemed that my days of being woken at all hours by assorted ne'er do wells and do-gooders were coming to an end.
"The very next day I was woken up by an insistant ringing of the doorbell. All my friends know I work nights at this time of year so I knew there was either some emergency (I don't trust telephones and wouldn't dream of having one of those evil things in my house - if there's a problem at work or with my parents then one of my neighbours is put to the inconvenience of taking a call - they said it was alright for me to give out their number - and preferably taking a message for me or coming and waking me up) or that somebody was rudely ignoring the sign. Bleary eyed, I trundled down the stairs and opened the door. A forty year old creature stood before me. It was wearing a crumpled, brown suit and holding a worn looking brief case. It held out an ID card. It was a salesman!
"I glared and pointed at the sign. "That's why I'm here," it said, "It appears that somebody has unscrewed what is undoubtedly a very fine sign and replaced it face down. Kids these days!" It shrugged at me, trying to give the impression that this was something that happened regularly and I was the victim of a growing sign-turning epidemic. "I have the solution to your problem. Pete's Patented imPregnable Paste! Guarunteed to keep any two surfaces bonded together until one crumbles away. Only five pound a tin." "