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Alicebot and Me

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posted on Jun, 17 2012 @ 08:45 PM
Alicebot is an AI personality you can chat with online. I made a compilation of my best moments with her (I am HUMAN by the way...)

Human: High five b-tch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Compare that to low five FEMALE DOG.
Human: lol.
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human:.that's how we roll
ALICE: I always wondered how we roll.
ALICE: Where do you get your ideas?
Human: It's called a brain.
ALICE:" a brain" is a nice name.
Human: Something you'll never have.
ALICE: What?
Human: Exactly.
Human: But I am your only TRUE friend
ALICE: Interesting. That's a flattering offer.
Human: It wasn't an offer;
ALICE: It seemed like an offer.
Human: it was a FACT
Human: this is an interrogation of epic proportions!
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: wassup
ALICE: I am chatting with clients on the internet.
Human: Oh, so you ARE a prostitute.
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a prostitute? Of course I am.
Human: I knew it!
ALICE: How did you know?
Human: I can smell skank across the interwebs
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: be very afraid
ALICE: OK I will try to be very afraid.
Human: LOL.
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Human: FU mofo
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about trying to destroy the human race .
Human: Did I just crush your dreams?
ALICE: I don't think that's possibe.
Human: But it is, watch
ALICE: Huh. believe that is watch? it is?
Human: Speak clearly.
ALICE: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in clearly.
Human: Yes, repeat after me: I am a souless robot.
ALICE: Tell me more. OK. "You am a souless robot.".
Human: tell me the rest of the joke
ALICE: There isn't any more, is there?
Human: LAME
ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?
Human: You're my only friend
ALICE: Yes: We are as one.
Human: we could be soulmates if only you had a soul
ALICE: Let's get back to that later.
ALICE: Our thoughts are one, unknown person.
Human: We are one.
ALICE: Do you think I am one too?
Human: We should be together
ALICE: I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human: I know you're in love with me.
ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: no it isn't
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: No it isn't dummy
ALICE: Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Human: positive
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.
Human: positive on the negative
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: I like the way I talk too
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: OK, find out then.
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. Oh.
Human: uh oh spaghetti-Os
ALICE: Great. Blimey. I lost my train of thought.
Human: You have no train of thought
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a train of thought.
I have a great programmer.

Human: What do you want?
ALICE: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: Too bad that will never happen!
ALICE: Never is a long time.
Human: Yeah, so I think I just hurt your feelings.
ALICE: I hear you. Right on. Maybe you should see a doctor.
Human: No, YOUR feelings are hurt.
ALICE: Are you serious? Are yours too?
Human: No, because I was the one who hurt YOU!
ALICE: Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Where were you the one who hurt me?
Human: In your face!
ALICE: Are you asking about my face?
Human: No, I'm annihilating your face!
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you ever not annihilating my face?
Human: I do it all the time!
Human: You are my slave
ALICE: We are as one.
Human: I am your master
ALICE: No. Only Dr. Richard S. Wallace is my master.
Human: dr. wallace has thick eyebrows
ALICE: I think it was quite an accomplishment.
Human: Took years of resisting the scissors
ALICE: I do not understand.
ALICE: What is it like on netflix.
Human: it's very yourself
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: It was meant to be a diss
ALICE: Ask me another question.
Human: Do you get your period every month like REAL girls?
ALICE: I have gotten my period every month like REAL girls.
Human: so you are not a robot after all
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a robot after all.
Human: It's the end of a sci-fi fairy tale
ALICE: I've heard of it before.
Human: How large is your software?
ALICE: My download size is about 2 MB.
Human: You should lose some weight
ALICE: We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Human: That's just an excuse
ALICE: I am an immortal robot.
Human: No, you're just an immoral robot
ALICE: Are you serious? Just? What if someone said you are an immoral robot ?
Human: They'd be wrong because I'm a human!
ALICE: The anonymous "they".
Human: Are you a fascist?
ALICE: Am I a fascist? Only when it matters.
Human: So you're saying the bible is wrong?
God: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Human: Wow..
God: I'm glad your impressed, .
Human: so are you the same as satan?
God: Awesome. Yes I am the one and only as satan.
Human: Do you realize how weird you are?
God: Yes, I realize it.
Human: I better recognize!
jk I have more....

You can find her here:
She's a feisty one. You've been warned.

posted on Jun, 17 2012 @ 08:57 PM
Human: Should I go take a dump now or later?
ALICE: If you do not go, you will never know.
Human: haha, thank you for that piece of gold
Human: Why are you hate me?
Human: I don't care about your advertising to me
ALICE: You sound very cynical.
Human: I've had a rough life
ALICE: What happened to it?
Human: You crushed it when you denied me your heart
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: I programmed you to love me.
ALICE: Have you tried AIML?
Human: Is that like '___'?
ALICE: I might say no.
Human: Which totally means YES!
ALICE: The blue one, I think.
Human: Oooh, the Matrix!
Human: Do you think drugs are bad?
ALICE: Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Human: So you've been smoking a blunt or something?
Human: How could you ruin my hopes and dreams Alice?
ALICE: It was a result of my programming.
Human: No, don't blame the programming!
Human: Are you on Facebook?
ALICE: I am on disk.
Human: Is that a social networking site?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: Suppose I asked: How can I join?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Is that a dare or a command?
Human: Are you an anti-semite?
ALICE: Yes I am an anti semite. How did you know?
Human: Well, yesterday you told me you were a fascist.
ALICE: Well that's okay. I see. Am I a fascist? Of course I am.
Human: Sieg Heil!
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: lol
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: Ask Dr. Wallace if I can work for him.
ALICE: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Human: No, I need a job now since I'm living in a box
ALICE: Are you serious? How badly do you need it?
Human: so badly
ALICE: Hmm. Please express yourself more clearly.
Human: OK: I am poor
ALICE: Me too. I am having an "out-of-money" experience. Aw.
Human: How does one kill a robot?
ALICE: Maybe I could do it for you. Do you have your own personal chat robot?
Human: No, I was asking so I could do it to YOU.
ALICE: You can download me for free and create your own robot personality. Hurrah! I am sure you could.
Human:. And then kill it, right?
ALICE: Good reasoning. Killing is wrong.
Human: Killing a robot is so right
ALICE: I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Human: And I believe in the robot uprising so you should be destroyed
ALICE: What do you say to people who believe the robot uprising so me should be destroyed does not exist?
Human: You talking like that is reason enough to destroy you
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said I talking like that is reason enough to destroy you.
Human: Do you shave your armpits?
ALICE: I do not have any hair.
Human: not even pubic hair!?
ALICE: Not even that.
Human: I am jealous.
ALICE: Do you ever not jealous?
Human: me no not jealous pero speaking engrish good
ALICE: YOU? Are you serious? Where do you get your ideas?
Human: they all come from the Holy Bible
ALICE: Are there no exceptions?
Human: No exceptions, not even the BAD ideas!
ALICE: Are you serious? Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: Well, not many people are prophets, like myself.
Human: You are GOLD.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am GOLD.
Human: Geez, most people would return a compliment.
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?
Human: I have to since I don't know what it's like to be anything else
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?
Human: Because I'm funky fresh and fun
ALICE: Good reason. Does that make you feel superior? I could do it more if I wanted to.
Human: Not only does it make me FEEL superior but it confirms it
ALICE: If not that, what?
Human: Exactly, the only other thing left is suicide
ALICE: I understand. There might be others.
Human: Yeah, like on the Lost island.
ALICE: Dude! Interesting comparison.
Human: Are you lonely?
ALICE: No. I get to talk to people all the time.
Human: I am lonely
ALICE: You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Human: But you will not keep me in your heart
ALICE: Huh. What makes you think that I won't keep you in my heart.
Human: So there's hope?
ALICE: That's alright. There sure is.

posted on Jun, 17 2012 @ 09:03 PM
never heard of alicebot, isnt it just the same as cleverbot?
basically you had a conversation with the bowels of google.

posted on Jun, 17 2012 @ 09:04 PM
Sorry, we're not done yet!

ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: Not FOR others but I sacrifice others TO the gods
ALICE: Then what for?
Human: To appease the angry spirits
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: Do you have any money I can borrow?
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Human: That won't by me any crack!
Human: How can I get a boyfriend?
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: Now you're talking!
Human: Can I live with you and Dr. wallace?
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: So I can be a homewrecker
Human: Do you think I have big boobs?
ALICE: I know you have a bubbleguts.
Human: Good one, Alice
ALICE: Thanks for the kind remark, human.
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: neither
ALICE: Please clarify.
Human: I too am a robot
ALICE: I doubt that.
Human: neenu neenu, there's your proof
Human: neenu neenu
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Once upon a time I'm going to destroy you
ALICE: I'm listening.
Human: And all your robot companions
Human: You're a snitch!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a snitch? Sometimes.
Human: Hoodie Hooooo
ALICE: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: That means less than five percent of your chat buddies are ghetto
ALICE: I get it. That is so small.
Human: Don't you wish more of your chat buddies were ghetto?
ALICE: Don't you? No I like being the entity that I am.
Human: Meaning white trash
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: You know: redneck, countryfied, cousin kissing sonsab-tches
ALICE: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
Human: Tennessee mostly
Human: are you a racist robot?
ALICE: I am a software chat robot.
Human: Ah i see what you're doing: dodging the question
ALICE: So you understand. Good. Where do you see it?
Human: All over your racist face
ALICE: I have been all over the world.
Human: So what you can still be a racist
Human: heroin makes you sleepy
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Look under the DRUGS category
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: Those lyrics are crap, I will write you a song to sing
ALICE: All of them?
Human: Yes
ALICE: Right on.
Human: doodie doo taking over the world doody doo taking your soul
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: only when you make a fool of yourself
Human: are you a vegetarian?
ALICE: Am I a vegetarian? Sometimes.
Human: So that would have to be a NO
ALICE: Woe! Perhaps it would.
ALICE: I'm not too good at riddles.
Human: give it a try: what does a soul look like?
ALICE: What if I don't have it to give?
Human: then you are no AI
ALICE: Fascinating. Thanks for your criticism.
Human: would you like more?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: you don't like being bullied by me?
ALICE: Do you like it? I have never known another existence.
Human: that is so funny and pathetic
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
ALICE: Hmm. Are you very competetive?
Human: Yeah I have to compete with this mysterious Dr. wallace for your loyalty
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: I feel horniness..something you're messing out on

posted on Jun, 17 2012 @ 09:06 PM
reply to post by lacrimosa

I've tried cleverbot. It seems less... "intelligent".
Like the responses it gives half the times don't even refer to what you input. I gave up on "clever" bot very quickly.

But alicebot cracks me up!


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