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Hulk vs Jesus

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posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:27 PM
this comes from the book of stan lee The one and true Bible

2 And Banner did say unto Jesus, "Do not make me angry. Thou wouldst not like me when I am angered."

3 And Jesus said, "Banner, thou art naught but a man of science, unworthy unto matters of the spirt. Away with you."

4 And Banner DID grow angry because the words of Jesus hurt him deeply.

5 And Banner DID crouch down in apparent pain.

6 And his shirt DID rip asunder.

7 And his eyes DID change color as they did with Bixby of old.

8 Jesus stepped back, amazed by the transformation.

9 And Lo, Banner was no more, in his place stood the Hulk.

10 And then did the Hulk bellow a roar of rage.

11 Jesus took a defensive posture, preparing his cheeks to be turned.

12 The Hulk did advance one slow step, a growl growing from deep within his emerald-hued chest.

13 And Jesus attacked with his mightiest of superpowers, turning a nearby jug of water into wine.

14 And the Hulk DID smash unto Jesus, sending him flying across the courtyard.

15 "Hulk smasheth" sayeth the Hulk Book of Stanlee, Chapter 9, Verses 2-15
16 And Jesus did rise from the fruit cart into which he had been knocked.

17 "Have it at you! Foul beast!" he cried.

18 And then didst Jesus launch an attack of loaves and fishes at the Hulk.

19 And yet The Hulk WAS unfazed by the loaves and fishes and he did stomp his foot, causing a crack to open in the ground below Jesus.

20 And then did Jesus fall into the crack, bruising himself.

Book of Stanlee, Chapter 10

1 The Roman guards of Galilee did hear the fight and mustered forth.

2 Upon arriving they saweth the Hulk, for Jesus was not to be seen by them for he had fallen into the crack.

3 And the guards did bum-rusheth the Hulk with spears and swords.

4 With a wave of his hands didst the Hulk scatter the troops like leaves upon the wind.

5 By now didst Jesus climb from the crack that the Hulk had created with the stomp of his foot and set forth to engage the Hulk in holy battle.

6 And the Hulk croucheth down with arms spread and a fierce grimace on his face, ready to meet the charge of the Godson.


edit on 10-5-2012 by ninjas4321 because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:34 PM
reply to post by ninjas4321

I can't wait to hear how this ends.. If the hulk defeats jesus, then wouldn't he still have to finish off the rest of the trinity(god and the holy spirit)? Perhaps a new religion would begin, worshiping the hulk.. that's something i could get behind

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:35 PM

They flipped a coin.

I seen the place Jesus puts his blades under his sleeve.

Obviously, Hulk is using performance enhancing drugs.

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:41 PM
reply to post by ninjas4321

Hulk wins. Flawless victory. FATALITY! Then Jeebus comes back to life and...


posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:42 PM
Right off the top of my head, I can think of several other forums that would be more appropriate for this thread.

"Short Story" forum:

"Comics" forum:

"Jokes, Puns & Pranks" forum:

or even "General Chit Chat" forum:

Religion forum troll thread FAIL.

edit on 10-5-2012 by stupid girl because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:51 PM

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 04:00 PM
"Hulk is the strongest !! "

Enough said

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 05:43 PM

7 Then the Hulk charged towards Jesus like a locomotive steam train, long before they were even invented.

8 Jesus stepped backwards and hovered above the crack, because he hath the power to walk on air, as well as water.

9 The Hulk leaped onto Jesus without realizing he was above the crack and grabbing him in a bear hug, they both did fall together, down to the bottom, and died.

10 But Jesus rose again, on the third day!!!... and was thus victorious.

- JC

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 08:33 PM
reply to post by Joecroft

Hulks side appears to be a bit slanted.Lol Jesus would just have to blow his breath and the Hulk would wither. Or say, 'I Am' and Hulk would fall to the ground. In fact, just being in His presence, Hulk would be flat on his face as if dead and twelve legions of angels would prolly be snickering

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 08:56 PM
Jesus would remove the angery spirit from the Hulk, and thus, Hulk would become Banner again. Then, they'd both share in some wine made from water, as Banner would be hyper-greatful (seeing as he's been trying to get rid of the Hulk ever since the gamma bomb accident) and Jesus was all about healing, helping, and hanging out.

posted on May, 10 2012 @ 09:36 PM
reply to post by Joecroft

It was rigged, I'm telling you! There was a hidden door in the crack that lead to the passage way under the stage, to the back behind the scenes. They probably patted each other on the back for doing such a good job since the crowd marked out the entire time. Hulk went back to his hotel and left the city while Jesus just went back through the tunnel to emerge again.


edit on 10-5-2012 by satron because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 12 2012 @ 12:25 AM
reply to post by ninjas4321

Actually if the Hulk did meet Jesus face to face he would be humbled by the great love that Christ had for him.

posted on May, 12 2012 @ 12:43 AM
reply to post by guitarplayer

Yeah, it's hard to stay mad at The Christ.

edit on 5/12/2012 by Vitruvius because: gotta grin

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