A question for the ladies.

Ok, the monks bit is a bit of a derailment here.
It was a light jest (and really more about the clergy in general), it was hardly meant to categorize all monks, priests or nuns for that matter.

My personal opinion is that these folks are largely people who either feel unequipped for a normal relationship, or who have been burned so much by them, that they seek a virtual relationship with a fantasy figure as a safe substitute, for the most part. I'm sure there are exceptions, there are to every rule, even my blanket statement.

Thing is though, I've known many people who nearly felt themselves to be asexual at some point in their life. Absolutely ZERO percent of them still feel that way, and have either been in relationships since, and/or are in one now.

reply to post by Gazrok

All my point is ... is that I disagree with your "everyone" statement, and found it presumptuous and incorrect, and a degrading to say these people are lying to themselves, or simply "BS'ing" (which is the same as calling them liars in my opinion.)

Understand?

I understand that what I typed was "BS'ing" and your interpretation of that as calling everyone liars does NOT equate to me trying to backpeddle about it. You tried to put words in my mouth, stating I said something in the beginning of the post, then agreeing that it was your opinion of what I said in the end.

By all means, disagree, but your anger over this presumption is far more telling than my blanket statement...

If you go the entire rest of your life, without pursuing a relationship, because you are simply that blissful without one, then, by all means, come back here and say "told you so"...but you and I both know that simply isn't going to be the case....

Nice one about my relationship not being normal though, (to whoever made it). True, but to be honest, I'm returning it to a more normal one, for my own sanity.

reply to post by Gazrok

I understand that what I typed was "BS'ing" and your interpretation of that as calling everyone liars does NOT equate to me trying to backpeddle about it. You tried to put words in my mouth, stating I said something in the beginning of the post, then agreeing that it was your opinion of what I said in the end.

By all means, disagree, but your anger over this presumption is far more telling than my blanket statement...

No I didn't put words in your mouth..what does BSing mean to you, then you went on to use the word lying.. and I'm putting words in your mouth?

Again you presume that I am angry, which I am not, just don't care for blanket statements, where if someone disagrees they are full of BS or lying to themselves. All it reveals about me is that I stand up for truth.

If you go the entire rest of your life, without pursuing a relationship, because you are simply that blissful without one, then, by all means, come back here and say "told you so"...but you and I both know that simply isn't going to be the case....

Again more presumption... I never said I was referring to myself , and even if I was, you haven't a clue what the future holds, or why.

You posts have revealed far more about yourself, and your lack of taking accountability for what you say as well as imply.

read this again and tell me what it says or implies?

Any OTHER excuse is just that, an excuse...and it's BS. Single people will even lie to themselves about this, but in the end, it's still a lie, any way you slice it. We all want that companionship. Anyone who says differently, is only BS'ing themselves...not this guy.

Originally posted by HappyBunny

Originally posted by tovenar

If Gazrok were correct, not a single human would ever have joined a monastery. And yet they exist.

How is that?

But they're not truly alone. They have their fellow monks and form bonds of friendship.

Thats where he made his mistake, thinking that "companionship" can only come in the form of a sexual relationship with a partner.

Originally posted by Gazrok
My personal opinion is that these folks are largely people who either feel unequipped for a normal relationship, or who have been burned so much by them, that they seek a virtual relationship with a fantasy figure as a safe substitute, for the most part. I'm sure there are exceptions, there are to every rule, even my blanket statement.

Again, presumptious much? Do you know any monks to speak of their motives and make such sweeping assumptions? You're not only judgemental, but belittling. Of the twenty or so monks that I have met, and many more nuns than that, they have none of them undertaken orders because of failed relationships, most received their calling at a relatively young age, and therefore never entered into relationships because of that spiritual commitment. Just because you are incapable of thinking beyond what your genitals may think you need, don't make the presumption that others are the same way inclined. It is you that seems to have a highly developed fantasy life and are projecting it, not the other way around, the brothers and sisters that I have met, are some of the most grounded realists that I have ever met, and for the most part, deeply joyous in their life choice. They are most definately not Abelard and Heloise. You, it seems, watch far too many movies.

Lying to oneself (in my opinion) is not branding someone a "Liar".
Of course, the semantic argument can go on all day.

As for meeting monks, as I stated, my comments were about the clergy in general (monks are a pretty specific (and rare) breed of clergy). Yes, I've actually known many (clergy, vs. monks), and the vast majority fell into those two categories....

They either never had a serious relationship, and so don't have that frame of reference (like the ones mentioned by the above poster who felt a religious calling early on, etc.).

or

They had failed relationships that were disastrous causing them to renounce such relationships in the future and seek only a relationship with their deity.

Yes, I belittle it a bit, and make fantasy references, but that's due to my own opinions of organized religion. I've admitted I'm making a blanket statement. And yes, there are always exceptions to every rule.

As for assuming people who are upset by the blanket statement are upset because of the content of that statement, well, that's a pretty natural assumption...

It's not about thinking with genitals. The emotional part of a relationship is far more rewarding, important, (and yet complicated) than the sexual component of relationships. That's really what I'm speaking of, is people looking for the emotional connection and intimacy of having that relationship. Sexual gratification doesn't require this.

reply to post by Gazrok


I would estimate that there are many, many more monks than there are celibate clergy. Most of the clergymen and women that I have met are in relationships, some even in homosexual relationships, it is only, in my part of the world, the Roman Church that insists on celibacy, and I only know one Roman Priest.

So, in summary, from the babbling nonsense that your post largely consists of, that we can summarize that through your confessed prejudice, and obvious ignorance, that you feel the need to belittle and make assumptions about things that you clearly know nothing about.

US Female here.

36 B chest. That's an auto FAIL right there.

Other sub issues -

Education beyond grade school = Feminazi.

Honest and sincere person - men want crazy drama silly girls.

I could go on, but I fail at the chest size alone, and that trumps all. And, you have to be really stupid.

If you're not Kim K or Courtney Stodden you may as well give up.

You have to have a perfect body and be really stupid. Otherwise no one will want you.

3 foot tall with a flat head and turns into a six pack and a pizza at midnight. Hot Porn Stars! Shut up Feminazi! Go make me a sammich!

I see what men want. I can read. I am not what they want so I keep to myself.

Originally posted by Zinky
US Female here.

36 B chest. That's an auto FAIL right there.

Other sub issues -

Education beyond grade school = Feminazi.

Honest and sincere person - men want crazy drama silly girls.

I could go on, but I fail at the chest size alone, and that trumps all. And, you have to be really stupid.

If you're not Kim K or Courtney Stodden you may as well give up.

You have to have a perfect body and be really stupid. Otherwise no one will want you.

3 foot tall with a flat head and turns into a six pack and a pizza at midnight. Hot Porn Stars! Shut up Feminazi! Go make me a sammich!

I see what men want. I can read. I am not what they want so I keep to myself.

Wow, talk about a low blow to men .

There are lots of men who have wives and gf's with b chests, because they love them.

And yes, some men prefer b chested women.

There are also many men who have fallen in love with "brains", so I think its very unwise to put ALL men in that category.

Maybe just maybe its something about attitude or character that is turning them off?

Can't say for sure, but if you hang around the right type of men, I'm sure you will find some who aren't all about the chest size.

Good luck.

Originally posted by WhisperingWinds

Originally posted by Zinky
US Female here.

36 B chest. That's an auto FAIL right there.

Other sub issues -

Education beyond grade school = Feminazi.

Honest and sincere person - men want crazy drama silly girls.

I could go on, but I fail at the chest size alone, and that trumps all. And, you have to be really stupid.

If you're not Kim K or Courtney Stodden you may as well give up.

You have to have a perfect body and be really stupid. Otherwise no one will want you.

3 foot tall with a flat head and turns into a six pack and a pizza at midnight. Hot Porn Stars! Shut up Feminazi! Go make me a sammich!

I see what men want. I can read. I am not what they want so I keep to myself.

Wow, talk about a low blow to men .

There are lots of men who have wives and gf's with b chests, because they love them.

And yes, some men prefer b chested women.

There are also many men who have fallen in love with "brains", so I think its very unwise to put ALL men in that category.

Maybe just maybe its something about attitude or character that is turning them off?

Can't say for sure, but if you hang around the right type of men, I'm sure you will find some who aren't all about the chest size.

Good luck.

Uh huh.

Try living in the real world. Like me. When I was dressed up a bit (suit, mind you) and men were chasing me round the office - married men - so much for the 'love' of their wife, eh?

Look at what men say on this site alone. You'll get a bad opinion here alone.

It ain't me honey. I see the truth. You can too - just by reading this site. This has to be one of the most misogynistic sites I've ever seen. But, it's a microcosm of the general public so there ya go.

reply to post by Zinky

Uh huh. Try living in the real world. Like me. When I was dressed up a bit (suit, mind you) and men were chasing me round the office - married men - so much for the 'love' of their wife, eh? Look at what men say on this site alone. You'll get a bad opinion here alone. It ain't me honey. I see the truth. You can too - just by reading this site. This has to be one of the most misogynistic sites I've ever seen. But, it's a microcosm of the general public so there ya go.

If you think you're seeing the truth Zinky, then your looking at it with blinders on.

yes, some men are like what you say, but if you can't look around and see in the real world how many men are married to women with degrees, and brains, or walking down the street holding hands with a "b" cup.. you are not seeing reality.

Good grief, how many women with degrees are happily married? How many women with b cups are in relationships? Millions !

You're exposing much about your attitude dear, and I fear that may be the problem.

Please do yourself a favor, and get off the "all men are cads" train, because if you're looking for a relationship with a decent guy, it will do nothing to help the cause.

I think a lot of people, men and women, are alone because finding a good match and making it last can be a lot of work. Most people just don't seem to have the patience these days to do that. It takes a special kind of person who has a strong work ethic to apply that to a personal relationship.......................*sigh*

I just discovered this singer not too long ago, ( which is kinda weird because I've always been a slow jazz kinda guy )and this is about a slave, but it can also be about people who just work hard. I think it applies to what the OP is talking about. I'm still kinda new here but I'm seeing that "staying on topic" is kinda important.

youtu.be...

Originally posted by 4DuecesWild
I think a lot of people, men and women, are alone because finding a good match and making it last can be a lot of work. Most people just don't seem to have the patience these days to do that. It takes a special kind of person who has a strong work ethic to apply that to a personal relationship.......................*sigh*

I just discovered this singer not too long ago, ( which is kinda weird because I've always been a slow jazz kinda guy )and this is about a slave, but it can also be about people who just work hard. I think it applies to what the OP is talking about. I'm still kinda new here but I'm seeing that "staying on topic" is kinda important.

youtu.be...

Maybe the so called "hard work" for a relationship that really doesn't bring fulfillment just isn't worth it to some, and they are honest enough to acknowledge that.

You can't constantly be working at trying to change annoying habits about a partner, though I'm sure in many cases if the love is strong enough, they will try to work through many issues, and be willing to accept the flaws.

I have great respect for those who are honest enough to say that they don't want a relationship, and don't pretend that they will change, or say that they are someone that they really aren't. Too many relationships go to the trash bin, because of dishonesty on the part of people unwilling to be honest with themselves as well as others.

reply to post by Gazrok


You know , as a 40 yrs old recently single woman i have to agree. I want companionship, however all i am finding are men wanting just sex. I'm a very outgoing, kind, slightly different thinking, bigger woman so I think that puts men off in my very small, conservitive town. Your right, we all have excuses and reasons we cant be with someone. Sometimes its a matter of not finding the right one, other times it a lack of options and then there is also setting the bar to high.
There are lots of fish in the sea, most are catch and realase. Its finding that keeper thats hard.

Originally posted by tluna1
reply to post by Gazrok

 

You know , as a 40 yrs old recently single woman i have to agree. I want companionship, however all i am finding are men wanting just sex. I'm a very outgoing, kind, slightly different thinking, bigger woman so I think that puts men off in my very small, conservitive town. Your right, we all have excuses and reasons we cant be with someone. Sometimes its a matter of not finding the right one, other times it a lack of options and then there is also setting the bar to high.
There are lots of fish in the sea, most are catch and realase. Its finding that keeper thats hard.

What is wrong with having companionship, in friendships, from both sexes , if that is all you want?

Seems if you're not really interested in sex, building strong foundations in friendship, would be the answer.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


ummm i want sex too! hence a companion, relationship, mate, ect. Good sex would be awsome!

Originally posted by tluna1
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

ummm i want sex too! hence a companion, relationship, mate, ect. Good sex would be awsome!

I'm sorry, I didn't understand your post regarding the sex comment.

Good luck in finding what you are looking for.

reply to post by Biliverdin

So, in summary, from the babbling nonsense that your post largely consists of, that we can summarize that through your confessed prejudice, and obvious ignorance, that you feel the need to belittle and make assumptions about things that you clearly know nothing about.

Wow, still on this, eh?

My comments are my comments. If you find them belittling, ignorant, etc., then good for you! Would you like a gold star on your forehead, or some ice cream? Or some other acknowledgement of your immense superiority and enlightenment? Why are you so easily riled?

I know why (as do you), but if I say it, you'll just say I'm being ignorant again....and thinking with my genitals.

US Female here.

36 B chest. That's an auto FAIL right there.

Speaking as a guy, and based on every guy I've spoken with on this...(does not include monks)...we all like breasts, and in all of their shapes and sizes. So, while this is something that can instantly get our attention, this isn't a deal-breaker.

Other sub issues -

Education beyond grade school = Feminazi.

Many guys are fine with a smart woman. My wife and I are both MBAs.

Honest and sincere person - men want crazy drama silly girls.

BOYS may want this, but men want no part of drama and craziness. It's why we often say, "Yes Dear"...to avoid it.

I could go on, but I fail at the chest size alone, and that trumps all. And, you have to be really stupid.

If you're not Kim K or Courtney Stodden you may as well give up.

Not true, and a high maintenance gal like Kim K is only for guys who are loaded enough to keep her.

You have to have a perfect body and be really stupid. Otherwise no one will want you.

Nah...at some point, there has to be actual conversation.

3 foot tall with a flat head and turns into a six pack and a pizza at midnight. Hot Porn Stars! Shut up Feminazi! Go make me a sammich!

I see what men want. I can read. I am not what they want so I keep to myself.

I seriously hope this is just a bad time for you, vs. how you truly think of the male gender. We're really not all that bad, and I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there like me who look beyond the surface for the person inside.

Originally posted by Gazrok
I know why (as do you), but if I say it, you'll just say I'm being ignorant again....and thinking with my genitals.

Oh please do share, if it is as asinine and facile as the rest of your remarks, it should at least be worth a giggle.

reply to post by Biliverdin


I'm sure you can guess...

So, since my momma taught me that when you can't say something nice....I'll keep the inane comment to myself. We'll simply have to agree to disagree here. Be careful balancing on that ivory tower of yours...