Looks are really important.

Presentation is actually a really important part of life. I'm tired of the whole idea that looks aren't important because the way you present yourself is the way other people will perceive you. People might just say that it's the thought that counts but after going through not necessarily a life-changing event but certainly a perception altering event I think otherwise.

I just recently had cellulitis on my left eye and the entire thing under my left eye looked completely red. Now it just looks like it was a bump but before it looked like I had a black eye (but I didn't). I also had a few nasty razor bumps which seem to be going away/have gone away. I also almost started to get the same thing from the left side of my face on my right eye... and that seemed to have gone away too.

Fortunately I've had all of this before my next College semester started and I was able to get all of it treated but it really made me think. I don't usually think about how I look because I don't look ugly. Ugly people think about how they look all the time because they can't stand the way they look. They can't stand looking at their faces every morning and people tell them that they should not worry about it and people will like them for the way they are and that's that.

But, when I had the thing under my left eye that looked really terrible and pink, I was getting serious depression. I thought no one was going to talk to me ever again. I was really lucky that the people that I was talking to were living away from me... talking to people on Facebook, so on and so forth. I felt super embarrassed about myself for looking the way I did. I felt like I won't be able to get a girlfriend because of the way that I look and things were awful.

Now that things on my face are looking better I am starting to feel a lot better about myself. So while looks may not mean everything to other people or not everyone else may judge you based on looks that it does matter somewhat, and it matters a whole lot to the individual person whether or not they look ok. If they feel they look fine then they don't really worry about it. If they don't feel that they look acceptable they'll feel pretty terrible.

So... I just want to challenge this perception that looks aren't important. They are. They might not be to the rest of society but for the ugly people they feel terrible about the way they look like I did when I was super ugly.

I can't agree that "only ugly people care about how they look". Most guys do not pay much attention to how they look because that is just how many guys are. Woman on the other hand, ugly or not, spend much of their lives wishing they were better looking, even if they are told all the time that they are pretty.

As far as looks being important, to some extent. It's a human's instincts to pick and choose a mate, one that is good looking to them is just one aspect. Maybe the person you think is pretty is not pretty to someone else and vise versa. Love does have something to do with how we perceive people as well. I read an article about the physiological effects on a person who loves someone. That person will automatically think who they love is better looking, even if by social standards they are not.

Be thankful that that monstrosity on your face wasn't a birth defect or permanent deformation. There are millions of people on this earth with facial defects that they can never change or make better. Even those people have friends, families, wives, husbands, and so on. Trade places with a man who was nearly blown to bits by a bomb...I bet you he wishes he just had an "eye" problem.

I think you have some vanity issues that need to be addressed.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Sayings "looks aren't important" is just like saying "skin color does not matter". Obviously, on a natural level and a level in which our society should be, these things would not matter. However, our society is so shallow that these things represent symbology.

An "ugly" person has his looks related to the other aspects of his life. If his looks are "lacking" than so is the rest of his priorities. In logic this is known as an ad hominem, and is generally considered a fallacy.

In addition, there is a difference between being considered "ugly" and being considered "sickly" which people often mistake. In the wild, an animal may or may not be left to die because it can look sick, and would bring the rest of the herd down. However, an animal would never judge another as looking "ugly".

You may throw out the argument that "birds look for an attractive looking mate, usually represented by their colors". This is, again, a confusion. A bird or animal with great colors is usually the result of a very healthy individual. So, an animal would obviously look for the healthiest mate to advances its species.

Society is ridiculous and has it back-asswards.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Hi OP

Can I ask a question... How old are you? This isn't meant as a condescending question, just a question.

I ask because I think a lot of what you are talking about is is relevant when you are young, when you are influenced by media, the tv and those awful shows aimed at the youth that are full of beautiful funny people leading amazing lives, magazines full of photoshoped soap stars and reality tv freaks, advertising, even the news, you name it! its all totally unrealistic bullsh!t that makes 99% of the population feel like sh!t.

When I was in my late teens / early twenty's I was exactly the same. If I had suddenly become 'ugly' then im sure I would have felt like my life was over, now... well I like to think I would be different, but quite honestly I dont know, but I hope so... These days I dont judge people on the way they look, what car they drive or what job they have, I dont judge them at all... well I try not to, it's a hard mind set to shift from but as people get older they hopefully loose that rubbish and see people for who they really are... I think it's just part of growing up and human nature.

Im honestly not trying to patronize you here, just sharing my thoughts on your post.

I hope your face heals up ok - and good luck with the ladies or boys, whichever floats your boat!

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Looks is important only because society makes it important.Every day we are bombarded by images of "beautiful people" and in a way we are brainwashed that is important for our lives to look like them.

I have seen people trying so hard to look beautiful,that end up like a monsters.I'm a 32 years old woman and i never cared how i look to others or what the latest trend is.By the standards of the society i am considered to be good looking.I always choose clothes that make me feel confortable,i have used make up only a few times in my life.I feel that is more important to be beautiful on the inside.

To be honest i avoid people who try too much to look good.To me it means that they try to hide who they really are.They don't even like their real self,why i should like them?

Anyway looks is as important as you make them.If you love yourself for who you are,the others will come to love you no matter how you look.

Looks are very important in our society, there is something known as sexual/erotic capital.

Sexual capital or erotic capital is a form of social worthiness granted to an individual, as a result of his or her sexual attractiveness to the majority of his or her social group. As with other forms of capital, sexual capital is convertible, and may be useful in acquiring other forms of capital, including social capital and economic capital.

en.wikipedia.org...

we all judge people on first impressions, it's a natural thing to do. As a male, I have certainly been guilty of treating attractive women better than those I consider ugly. I believe most hetro sexual males, look at a woman and within 5 seconds judge whether they would sleep with them or not. It's just nature and why our courting rituals are so complex.

reply to post by Frankidealist35


Agreed in part but.....
My partner was born with a 'strawberry' birthmark covering much of one side of his face and neck. When I met him he used to wear special make up (though you could still tell because of the skin texture). Anyhow I persuaded him that he didn't need the make up and he never looked back. I lost count of the number of people who said to me that after the initial impact when they first met him, they didn't notice it was there. That's because he and his personality rose above it.