Under the Bus

Ok, we are all human. We don't love everbody all the time. We all hate each other enough at times to toss somebody under the bus, or we vent in doing so.

With all the crap about how appropriate it is to forgive, admitt it, there are times it doesn't work. It's actually therapuetic not to forgive at times for your own self healing.

While we all read how wonderful it is to forgive, you don't need to.

Spew! This is a thread you would like to vent about unforgivable things, and to let them go.

God, I hate it when sombody tells me to forgive something I haven't even been able to express....so here ya go.

Venting therapy!

reply to post by supine


I do not really believe in the forgiving idea.
Sometimes it is nice to just choke slam someone who desperately needs it.
Vengeance is mine sayeth the ...blah blah blah.
You wronged me and I'ma comin for ya is my idea of therapy.

A confidentiality pledge:

Anything you say here, stays here....

Assuming it's a screen name...have at it.

I dont like humans
plain and simple... u just cant trust them

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by supine

 

I do not really believe in the forgiving idea.
Sometimes it is nice to just choke slam someone who desperately needs it.
Vengeance is mine sayeth the ...blah blah blah

.


LOl, I have a counselor who tells me that to fantasize in so many ways is normal, as long as you would never do it....

A letting go sort of thing....really I wish nobody harm while wanting to see them at their worst. This is all about that...what you wish but really don't mean.

Like a journal you keep. Words written but never to send.

reply to post by supine


Agreed. So many have been convinced to believe that by saying "I forgive you" it’s over and done. Hold on a minute. Those words do not remove the scar of the event that will live with the person that was harmed. Oh sure, they might get to the point where they'll eventually forget "what it was about" but not always. The emotional scar like a physical one will leave a mark and depending on the type of harm done that mark can hurt from time to time.

I was sold that "package" of saying "I forgive you,” until I realized that it simply let the other person off the hook and I was left hurting from what was done. And while we are spending our energies "forgiving,” the culprits continue to repeat their actions on others. So what have they learned? Nothing.

I'd just rather forget what was done and let the other live with their conscience, if they ever had one.

Only by forgiving, can we ourselves be set free, free to love ourselves and others, which is nice.

That said, there is appropriate and righteous anger, but the eternal harboring of resentments and fear and loathing and hatred and the desire for vengeance and to get even only locks us up within a prison of our own making, and one from which we won't get out of for a very long time until we do forgive.

There are a lot of assholes in the world, for sure, but that doesn't mean we need to become assholes ourselves..

But I agree that someone TELLING you that you must forgive, they don't really have that right, and after all, there's also a very fine line between holiness and assholiness!

So please forgive ME for the post above..

Originally posted by proof-would-be-good
reply to post by supine

 

Agreed. So many have been convinced to believe that by saying "I forgive you" it’s over and done. Hold on a minute. Those words do not remove the scar of the event that will live with the person that was harmed. Oh sure, they might get to the point where they'll eventually forget "what it was about" but not always. The emotional scar like a physical one will leave a mark and depending on the type of harm done that mark can hurt from time to time.

I was sold that "package" of saying "I forgive you,” until I realized that it simply let the other person off the hook and I was left hurting from what was done. And while we are spending our energies "forgiving,” the culprits continue to repeat their actions on others. So what have they learned? Nothing.


This is how I like to deal with being tossed under the bus:

I'd just rather forget what was done and let the other live with their conscience, if they ever had one.

reply to post by supine


Dear supine,

I understand this in the rant section so this is not a criticism, merely a response. Having almost died a few times, I know how I want to go out and it is not with baggage. Whoever hurt me is forgiven because I wish to go out without harboring hate or anger. They are forgiven, not because what they did was right; but, because I choose to be free of hate. Stumble, sure I get angry; but, actually promote anger or hate, nope, I don't have the time nor inclination to do so. Peace.

reply to post by supine


for giving is about giving up urself rights, as a choice, never about giving others anything

it is what i say and like what i do, what is right mean first truth and what mean truth know that the sense of being cant b but through superiority, so it knows how to give its own self right to objective superior right,
give up, give what is objectively higher, get up
when u give what is objectively higher by ur own self freedom then what lower touched u as being above u is screwed

a word has no significance at all but from truth perspective that realized it in positive absolute result, which is the principal value of truth, freedom at one side and positive always objectively since true

reply to post by AQuestion



This isn't a rant. We all deal with people day to day. Some toss you under the bus, even those who love you, if it's a benefit to do so.

You toss people under the bus, too, and if you don't admit to it, you're lying.

So, with that said, carry on.....

Originally posted by absolutely
reply to post by supine

 

for giving is about giving up urself rights, as a choice, never about giving others anything

Sometimes we are wrong. I guess it depends on the situation. Being bull headed has it's place.

it is what i say and like what i do, what is right mean first truth and what mean truth know that the sense of being cant b but through superiority, so it knows how to give its own self right to objective superior right,
give up, give what is objectively higher, get up
when u give what is objectively higher by ur own self freedom then what lower touched u as being above u is screwed

a word has no significance at all but from truth perspective that realized it in positive absolute result, which is the principal value of truth, freedom at one side and positive always objectively since true

Sometimes it's ok to admit you are wrong, even if you have beliefs otherwise. We can all be humbled.

Originally posted by supine
reply to post by AQuestion

 

This isn't a rant. We all deal with people day to day. Some toss you under the bus, even those who love you, if it's a benefit to do so.

You toss people under the bus, too, and if you don't admit to it, you're lying.

So, with that said, carry on.....

Dear supine,

Actually, I feel no need to toss anyone under the bus. If I admitted to tossing people under the bus I would be lying. Sorry you say that you do. We need to worry less about being right and more about making things better. I have very little to say about my ex-wife, she did me wrong; but, when she needed my help I gave it even though it did not benefit me. I would have helped her even if harming her would have benefited me and she knew it, which is why she asked for my help. There are enough liars and angry people in the world, there is no shortage, we don't all have to be that way.

We all get under the bus sometimes by our own actions or those of others.

How do we pick ourselves up, and brush it off is the theme of this thread.

Is it self pride that picks you up, or doing the right thing, which sometimes means eating humble pie.

This is us, humanity at this point and how we view each other and oursleves in the scheme of things.

Originally posted by AQuestion
Dear supine,

Actually, I feel no need to toss anyone under the bus. If I admitted to tossing people under the bus I would be lying. Sorry you say that you do.

But, you do, and will do. Suppose the bus was heading towards yourself or somebody you love. There is your answer.
We need to worry less about being right and more about making things better.

Somtimes the bus runs right over you for doing the right thing when you are making things better. I discern you making a sacrificial lamb to the bus for making things better.

I have very little to say about my ex-wife, she did me wrong; but, when she needed my help I gave it even though it did not benefit me. I would have helped her even if harming her would have benefited me and she knew it, which is why she asked for my help. There are enough liars and angry people in the world, there is no shortage, we don't all have to be that way.

You don't have to be angry if you do the right thing which is awesome if it isn't out of anger.

I have had some horrible, torturous, criminal things done to me, both emotionally and physically. At first, you are angry, so very angry, and wanting to give out the pain you have endured. Next, at least for me, I wondered what I could have done to either have deserved that or inspired that hatred in the person who did such to me. But ultimately, I found holding onto both the pain of what I endured and the anger at the one or ones who did that to me was only destroying my own integrity, sense of worth in myself and just the experience of being alive and how I perceived and experienced that on a moment by moment, day to day level. Could not drink enough, nor kill the pain enough in any other way, until I began to empathize again, and that involved forgiving. I don't think there is any other true way of healing. Without that, I believe, you are destined to only find relief in giving someone else the same pain. So, it is once again, how will you react, and what will you let that make of you?
Do you become what you have suffered, and like who has tortured you, or do you transcend that.....

I'm so dissapointed with you all.

Rip their guts out, scratch their eyeballs out, in your dreams, and while meditating (yup it isn't all deep breaths and light visions)

How do you let it go when you toss somebody under the bus, or when you feel like you have been?

Vent!!!

We all have these fantasies on how to cope, and if you say you don't, your lying!

reply to post by supine


Dear supine,

But, you do, and will do. Suppose the bus was heading towards yourself or somebody you love. There is your answer.

I know this answer, I became a pacifist,it is a trick, the answer is neither.

Originally posted by tetra50
. Without that, I believe, you are destined to only find relief in giving someone else the same pain. So, it is once again, how will you react, and what will you let that make of you?
Do you become what you have suffered, and like who has tortured you, or do you transcend that.....

edit on 3-12-2011 by tetra50 because

Thank you so much for sharing how you coped with being under the bus and how you dealt with it...first honest reply in the bunch.

Blessings to you. extra DIV