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War On the Solstice!

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posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:16 PM

As you all know, the secular-hedonism forces in the country are doing everything they can to attack the valuable cultural icon of the Solstice. To wit:

People are refraining from saying "joyful Solstice," replacing it with such heathen phrases as "happy holidays," "happy New Year," "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Chaunakah;"
Our traditional solstice symbols, such as the star and wreath, have been co-opted by the forces of Christmas;
Stores across the country have abandoned their stock of solstice-related merchandise. You can find Dradles, mangers and other merchandise, but nowhere can you find solstice-specific items;

Want to help end this anti-Solstice scourge? We at the Department of Pagan Enthusiasm (DOPE) have prepared a short list of tasks you can incorporate into your everyday life.

I am so SICK of our traditional Pagan roots and holidays being co-opted by these heathen Christians who think they can control everything! If you come up and say Merry Christmas to me instead of Joyful Solstice, you can expect a swift punch in the mouth.

There's a lot you can do to help:

organize letter writing campaigns: see a store that ignores our great and glorious Solstice? Write them a letter. Get your friends to do it, too. Use phrases like "merchants of the forces of hedonism" and "supporting the powers of darkness;"
picket people who refuse to say "joyful solstice." Be sure not to just picket their places of business, but their homes as well. If they object, leave sheaths of wheat on their doorstep. They'll get the message and shape up in no time;
see a tv program that doesn't sponsor any pro-Solstice activities? write them letters, too, but also focus on their advertisers. Ask the people who advertise on their show if they've ever had a bunch of angry pagans outside their offices. If that doesn't scare them, nothing will;
sabotage events supporting other holidays that exclude the Solstice: get a job as a mall Santa and eat lots of cabbage and beans before your shift. If anyone asks, blame it on the elves;
bumper sticker your car: there are some great bumper stickers available form our shop: "Remember the Solstice!" and "12-21: not just a palindrome" are two of our best sellers. But be sure to not stick to just bumper stickering your own vehicles. Be sure to bumper other peoples' cars as well. Best to do this late at night so they drive around with our message of hope and peace for hours before they find out;
there is no number six;
see a manger scene? Get a bunch of "it's a girl!" balloons and tie them to the hands of the wise men. Tie them to the crib as well and make sure to put a pink bow on the baby's head;
fight the snowmen: snowmen have been transformed from their traditional pagan status so as to no longer have their connection to traditional pagan rituals and rites. They are no longer our allies and must now be seen as our enemies. When you encounter a snowman, you may fight it through a variety of means. Hair dryers are effective, but it's difficult to find an easy to use outlet near many, so we recommend carrying a carafe of hot coffee. Its effect is similar to that of "holy" water on vampires. (vampires are neutral in this fight, so please don't make your coffee with holy water. It will be perceived as a threat by them, and the last thing we need is for them to ally with Christians);

We hope this update on the War on Solstice has been helpful. With your help, we can defeat the forces of anti-paganism and bring society into conformity with our pantheistic tree-hugging dirt worship, which everyone knows, is the One True Religion. And remember, if anyone challenges you, you're doing this for their own good. Just tell them that and everything should be fine.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:26 PM
reply to post by cetaphobic

you know i grew up with those christians who always complain about pagans trying to ruin holidays. hearing pagans complain about christians ruining their holidays sounds like the same mindless rant to me. if you don't like the storee selection, shop online, or make your own. if you really caree so much how people greet or talk to eachother then, well, your screwed. most people wont give a # about your complaints because so many from so different beliefs are all saying the same thing.

get over it.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:31 PM
reply to post by cetaphobic

I'll be damned if im putting up a solstice tree honestly...

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:32 PM
actually... Christmas is pagan. it is not the birthday of the Lord our savior Jesus Christ.

A. Roman pagans first introduced the holiday of Saturnalia, a week long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25. During this period, Roman courts were closed, and Roman law dictated that no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during the weeklong celebration. The festival began when Roman authorities chose “an enemy of the Roman people” to represent the “Lord of Misrule.” Each Roman community selected a victim whom they forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week. At the festival’s conclusion, December 25th, Roman authorities believed they were destroying the forces of darkness by brutally murdering this innocent man or woman.

B. The ancient Greek writer poet and historian Lucian (in his dialogue entitled Saturnalia) describes the festival’s observance in his time. In addition to human sacrifice, he mentions these customs: widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked; rape and other sexual license; and consuming human-shaped biscuits (still produced in some English and most German bakeries during the Christmas season).

C. In the 4th century CE, Christianity imported the Saturnalia festival hoping to take the pagan masses in with it. Christian leaders succeeded in converting to Christianity large numbers of pagans by promising them that they could continue to celebrate the Saturnalia as Christians.[2]

D. The problem was that there was nothing intrinsically Christian about Saturnalia. To remedy this, these Christian leaders named Saturnalia’s concluding day, December 25th, to be Jesus’ birthday.

another instance of self acclaimed Christians conforming to society, just so they wont be condemned and persecuted. and wolves in sheep's clothing taking advantage of fear.
edit on 25-11-2011 by DelayedChristmas because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:34 PM
reply to post by DelayedChristmas

im not christian or pagan. religion and beliefs such as those stifle the self.
your complaining about selections and used phrases. you want to force your way on others. you are a fool.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:37 PM

Originally posted by 85303
reply to post by DelayedChristmas

im not christian or pagan. religion and beliefs such as those stifle the self.
your complaining about selections and used phrases. you want to force your way on others. you are a fool.

are you talking to me?
and what issue are you addressing?

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 12:42 PM
reply to post by cetaphobic

I am so SICK of our traditional Pagan roots and holidays being co-opted by these heathen Christians who think they can control everything!

Eh? They have been at it for nearly 2000 years and you only just noticed?

There is plenty of room for people to celebrate the Solstice or Christmas, or both if you feel so inclined. The very term Pagan defines many non-Abrahamic groups and is not a 'specific' religion. The name came from the countryside. You can only be a pagan in the sense that you are not a Christian/Moslem/Jew etc, but the term pagan does not define what you are.

It could refer to Druids, or even to Atheists. Most of the so called pagan 'religions' of the modern day are religions that attempt to recapture the original Druidic and similar roots but actually have no direct links back to these lost religions.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 01:06 PM
reply to post by cetaphobic

Well, golly gee whiz, aren't we wound up tighter than an 8 day clock?!

If I say "Merry Christmas" to you out of ignorance of your beliefs, and you give me a swift punch in the mouth, not only would you be displaying behavior worthy of a lunatic, but it would be ON, missy, and you would get popped back so fast you would miss this solstice all together.

The best way to get your message across is not through threats and nastiness, but through patient education. Most people are open to learning about these things. Understand that most people go with what they grew up with, and I personally didn't know any pagans.

Teach with respect, and your cause will be noble. Teach with anger and pissiness, and your message will be buried under an avalanche of hate.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 01:08 PM
reply to post by 85303

You seem to have an issue with reading comprehension, as this was all very playful and is being used to point out how stupid it is to say there's a war on Christmas.

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 01:19 PM
reply to post by cetaphobic

Well thank you for explaining that.

I can't honestly say that is how it came across!

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 03:21 PM
easy girl! this is what they want! (how come you can get away with posting this and i get kicked off!!!:lol

our strength is our understanding,and the truth about this holiday(holy day).
teach & preach the real meaning. i'm attending a church function tomorrow for 'christmas' and i'm gonna try my hardest to be good!!!

don't be like them,share love & respect.we didn't kill a million or so witches,show them we have love. not malice.
just shed some light on people,'rome wasn't built in a day',as they say. and the godess always shines on us when we know where to look!
peace be with you,and blessed be
hoping you will have a nice solstice,and a great yule!!!

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 03:44 PM
i would like to know why it is so easy to jump on someones back when they are trying to post something they are passionate about,especially their beliefs. our pagan beliefs are well founded,and its proven that this is the is the truth!not your fake religions. i have very little proof of your alien theory,or your haarp theory,but i can see the effects of our planet,wind earth sky and water!!
you people who bitch about this are the people who will suffer in your 2012 self deasay what ye will,it makes no matter. i guess i can say see you in hell,but i'm not a christian!
i hope every one has a safe holiday season
and for the people out shopping on this black friday,,i'll see you in hell
jesus wants a new xbox for his birthday

posted on Nov, 25 2011 @ 04:30 PM
My home city celebrates both in style... anything to dress up and parade around the city by torch light then burn something big and enjoy some fireworks... no matter what it is that's how it always ends up
(I swear the locals have a fetish for dressing up and burning things

posted on Nov, 26 2011 @ 01:38 AM
reply to post by cetaphobic

Satire noted and very appreciated.

I don't get how people have no sense of irony...

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