posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 06:54 PM
reply to post by monkofmimir
Hang in there mate. I recently broke up with the love of my life who I wanted to marry. Was totally my fault because when I met her I was in a dark
place and really just going of the rails a bit and she never really could trust me after she found out how much I was partying n also using drugs.
Even though I totally changed my life around the damage was done, I even offered to not join the paratroopers which has been a dream of mine all my
life I decided to go for. She left me and she was my best friend as well as my gf, we were guna stay friends but she wont even talk to me know because
its too hard for her.
When this happened I really duno how I kept it together, luckily I didn't resort back to bad past habits. I had drifted away from my mates as well as
I lived away from my place while I was at uni so I was very very alone and it was awful. I had been struggling with depression months earlier as well
so this was a real crisis for me and I was very tempted to just go back to my old lifestyle. Instead I started hitting the gym hard and that helped me
so much. It makes you feel so good about yourself, the endorphins alone just make you feel so good and I look a lot better. When I bumped into my x
recently she was really impressed how I looked which I thought meant she wanted to get back together maybe as I wouldn't have thought she would
compliment me so much like she did. She actually didn't speak to me after that! I've kept at it though and got out there. Recently after a lot of
rubbish dates I met a fantastic girl n life has finally really sweet again.
Just don't give up. Take care of your body, that helped me loads and actually lifted me out of depression. Just 30/45 mins of exercise every other
day, lifting weights did this for me. Use ATS and online based places to talk to people as well if you feel alone, it's much easier to find people
who get what your going through because people are more open online I find. Give online dating a go. I would never have admitted to it before but when
I tried it I met so many good (and very very hot girls) when I gave this a try because I couldn't find any like minded girls, even though I met my gf
through a friend and not on there. It helps loads to meet people and stay in touch with them, it was just fun for me to go on dates with interesting
people. I found dating sites are full of very jerky kinda guys and a nice, genuine, confident guy is pretty rare. I tried it for a month n had a lot
of dates from it and it was great fun and more interesting than pulling wrecked girls out in a club. Those sites are full of great girls who are sick
of guys who are jerks so its great for meeting girls. I went from thinking I don't want anyone to know to recommending it to all my single mates, I
even took one with me on double dates and it was a right laugh.
Most important is just try stay positive and make things happen. Don't mope about, get out there n go to the gym/other physical activities in groups
to meet people, talk online to vent and to have some social contact to keep yourself happy because that's important for your mood to stay socially
active. Give those things a go mate and don't worry what people think too much. Exercise is so important to being mentally healthy as well as
physically healthy and is a great way to meet people, give it a go and stick with it, dont start then stop after a couple weeks liuke most people do.
Being single is great as well! I loved the dating after my relationship, even tho I was really upset about it all. Enjoy meeting people and dating.
I've been where you are and I was at rock bottom, now I'm the opposite and I feel great. If you want advice or just to talk with someone who gets
where you're coming from don't hesitate to PM me, I'd have given anything for a sympathetic ear when I was there n I really don't mind if you ever
wana talk to someone mate, anything for a fellow ATSer!