Just act less gay

www.thisislondon.co.uk...

This link goes to a site that talked about teachers "advice" towards people being bullied if they are gay or not. This got me thinking. What is it that these people consider looking or acting gay?
Does walking up to a guy and hugging him allow others to bully you, because no one bothers me when i hug my friends.
Apparently the advice the teachers gave was to act less gay, and that will stop these peoples. I laugh at that.
Mostly I'm asking you to post about your opinion on if that act less gay idea makes sense, if it doesn't, and if it doesn't what do you suggest is done.

My advice is for the person being bullied to find a group of friends that actually matter, and ignore the others. I also say that if this doesn't work, teachers do their job and stop the bullying completely.

reply to post by locololo


Well how gay are they acting? If it the flouncing about, waving hands in the air and cooing to everyone (stereotypical "poofter") then it may be good advice.

Before i get shot at, i am not saying there is anything wrong with being gay. I am merely pointing out that some may garner attention thus making them more likely to be become a target.

Peoples' sexuality is there own prerogative and no one else's. You can however minimise chances of becoming a victim of a bully

Act less gay? What the heck?
I agree with you about friends that matter.
Are teachers not wanting to do their job anymore?

Agreed, what is the definition for 'acting gay'?

Schools just need to erase bullying full stop.
I knew kids who were called 'geeks' or 'nerds' or 'know it alls'
Should they stop 'acting' smart to avoid getting bullied?

Education system is f*****. There's too many useless teachers!

Anyway, what's up with the dudes who bully gays?
How tough do they think that makes them, beating up a helpless homosexual?
edit on 2-11-2011 by Realm52 because: (no reason given)

Well i am still establishing my view on the issue. My belief is that people are born homosexual. Man or Woman. But at the same time i also know that a man and/or a woman, are born with a man/woman voice box. So anything else altered or augmented is acting. I have gay cousins and friends who talk with their regular voice and agree that overly flamey men make the choice to be all high pitched or "gay" if you will.

What im saying is its natural to be gay, but your choice to augment your voice.

Act less gay? That's their advice to stop Bullying?
Why not advise the Bullies to act less like assholes?

[forgive me, Mods]

Why do the victims need to be the ones to change their ways? I think this sort of solution is doubly insulting. In a way it condones the actions of the bullies, and reinforces the idea that it's okay to assault homosexuals. Pathetic.


~FugitiveSoul

Gay or not, if you are getting bullied, stand up to the bully and let them think you are crazy, and they will back off.

I was like 90lbs soaked and wet in high school, my bully was about 375lbs, 6' 3"... he could have turned me into a Picasso sculpture, but I stood up to him, got right in his face with that crazy look in my eyes, and he backed off and left me alone.

A bully gets off on feeling power over others, but there isn't a bully out there that wants even 1 punch to the face. If they believe you aren't going down without a fight, they will generally back off.

reply to post by FugitiveSoul


You hit the nail on the head. Makes me wonder how these teachers or schools are allowed to get away with this advice.

Solve the problem, Suspend, or Expel those whom who are doing the bullying, do not victimize the victim even more, that could lead to that victim committing suicide. Which has happened alot.

Sad days, that this sort of Ignorance from schools is still happening,.

sure, makes perfect sense to me. i know older couples who are gay and you could barely tell they are gay. It's very discreet, which is how it was back in the day. If you wanted to be gay it was something taboo and it would be discreet. Now these kids have this trend of oh i wanna be like this chad guy on TV and just do a gender 360, it's dumb. Of course you're gonna get bullied. society is a bitch but, that's the way it is. Avoid problems that's what i say, if i know acting like a woman when i am a man is going to get me bullied then i would just avoid doing it. This kids get what's coming to them sometimes. Idk. I knew some gay kids in high school and honestly they were never bullied or anything they were actually quite popular. Not sure what these other gay kids are doing..

reply to post by locololo


First off, it isn't like they are "acting" gay...they are just being themselves...some gays are flamboyant, some aren't. My brother is gay, so I've met more than my share, and I've seen many of his friends who you could never even tell outwardly.

What is it that these people consider looking or acting gay?

Simple answers there though. (for guys)

1. High voice with near valley girl inflection...the kind of voice that just screams "Flamer!"
2. Exaggerated hand and arm movements when talking (and you aren't Italian)
3. Non mainstream clothing, especially using accessories
4. Walking like a girl
5. Reacting dramatically to EVERYTHING

For girls, it's really more all about appearance...dressing like a guy, short hair, and listening to Lilith Fair artists. Add driving a convertible that isn't a sports car, or a truck, and you're solidly in lesbo land.

I agree that people shouldn't be bullied for any reason. However, in reality that is just pie in the sky dreaming. Reality tends to be more brutal and in your face and certainly not utopian.

I think all the teachers are trying to say (badly) is try not to attract attention. I may be wrong on this but that is how i am reading it.

I suppose this idiot teacher would tell the female students to act less feminine.
Nerds: Act like you don't wear glasses or like science.
Fat kids: Act like you're thin!
Skinny kids: Act like you're 'normal'.
Poor kids: Act like you're rich and everyone will love you!
Have an accent? Pretend like English is your first language!
Jocks: Oh, never mind...

This is the stupidest thing! ALL people have different personalities, traits, gestures and vocal inflections. If the "people acting gay" offend you, look the other way and plug your ears. They are who they are. I happen to LOVE the gay affectations. Just like I LOVE little girls who are tomboys.

People really need to get a life of their very own and stay out of others' business.

I think that many teachers just wish they could stick to teaching the subjects and subjects they have signed up to teach.

It's hard enough to actually get students interested and participating in your classes..and actually learning , it must be difficult to have to babysit, and constantly be dealing with the emotional and social issues the students are dealing with.

We expect so much wisdom from our teachers...psychological guidance for the bullied..admonishment for the bullies.

There are guidance counselors at the schools for these types of situations, and to go to for advice.

Lets not expect teachers to be perfect human beings ,and be able to teach, handle personal problems.. give great advice all of the time.

Yes..I agree they do need to be of a higher standard , and be good role models....but is anyone in this world always full of insight and wisdom , and know exactly how to handle each situation of crisis that may arise?

Also if a gay student is constantly making sexual remarks to other students, is acting flamboyant and trying to attract attention, it stands to reason he will anger a few of the other students, especially guys..if he is making suggestive remarks around them.

reply to post by Gazrok

For girls, it's really more all about appearance...dressing like a guy, short hair, and listening to Lilith Fair artists. Add driving a convertible that isn't a sports car, or a truck, and you're solidly in lesbo land.

excuse me..but I like the some of the artists from Lilith fair...and a lot of women dress casually in t shirts and jeans..and also look very good in short hairdo's.

I can't believe you would stereo type so badly...and you are totally wrong.

I have been hit on by lesbians when out in a club.. they were wearing high heals and short skirts, and showing a lot of cleavage...and no..they weren't bi..they were lesbian.

Just like all gay men don't fit into stereo type..the same can be said for gay women.


oh ..I need to add when I was hit on..I was wearing a skirt, high boots, and had my long hair tied back with a band that had flowers in it.

Not all gays are openly flamboyant, many are the straight talking, straight acting variety

reply to post by gabby2011


I should have clarified that the things I mentioned are stereotypical, and so yes, will lead to stereotypical conclusions. I should have added lack of using makeup, as that's another big one.

Yes, there are plenty of lipstick lesbians too, and just as there are many gay guys who you'd never guess, there are gay gals who you'd never guess. This thread is about "acting" gay, and that means acting like the stereotype for each.

I did not mean to assume that all gays act a particular way, just that society perceives certain behaviors as gay.

reply to post by Gazrok


Thanks for clarifying.. stereotyping can lead to confusion...and mistakes.

Just to bring up two lesbians who wear makeup.. Portia deRossi and Ellen DeGeneres .

Also need to add that I know quite a few women who don't wear makeup.. happily married women.. with children.

Actually most of the women I know that don't wear makeup are married, and most of the younger ones I see who don't just can't stand the feeling of it, or think its a waste of money...and they are NOT gay..

reply to post by gabby2011


Well, I don't think anyone would guess wrong on Ellen... Portia though...yep, classic lipstick variety...

My wife and most of her girlfriends are bi to a degree, and most of them are very much girlie girl types, so I get where you are coming from though...

reply to post by gabby2011


Pastoral care drove me out of teaching. im not a social worker, im a teacher! (or was)

Originally posted by Flavian
reply to post by gabby2011

 

Pastoral care drove me out of teaching. im not a social worker, im a teacher! (or was)

I totally understand .. and thank you for adding that to the point I was trying to make.