It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


Need Help Interpreting a Dream

page: 1

log in


posted on Oct, 28 2011 @ 10:59 PM
It's not a doom and gloom dream; it's personal so I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post it.
I really need someone with experience to help me interpret this dream, because it really disturbs me.

A little background first.
I have this special relationship with my dreams, I always pay attention to them, like an internal barometer. First, they usually warn me about personal issues I have. For example, I live abroad, in a country witch is not my native country. I had problems accommodating, I hated being here, but from reasons outside of my control, I had to stay. So the first 3-4 years I was dreaming constantly, at least once a week, about trying to fly back home and not succeeding. Either missing the flight, or having some malfunction at the plane, or not being allowed to pass through the airport gates, whatever reason, but never making it. When i finally understood that i have to change my attitude and accept the circumstances, my dreams changed accordingly. Suddenly I was back home, in my old neighbourhood, meeting old friends but not finding my house. Everything was the same, except that my house was always missing, and I'm wondering night after night, mostly in the dark, not finding my home. Those dreams also occurred constantly for a few years. Nothing mysterious here; just a big issue I have to work with. When I'm confused about some important decisions in my life, my dreams are dark, like night-time, or I'm swimming in muddy waters . When I'm happy I dream about dancing. Absolutely normal, I'd say, as far as the dreaming goes.

Secondly, I have these more weird dreams, happening much less frequent, but of the same importance. They are sometimes like predictions; I dream of places I never saw, then some time after that I find myself in that place, I have this flash-back, and I KNOW I saw that place in a dream. Or, for example, I dreamed once about a wonderful palace, something out of this world; and in my dream I knew this was a mandala. I woke up very confused, since for all I knew manadalas were these circular drawings made by buddhist monks,something I didn't found very exciting at the time, and I had no special knowledge of. Only years later, when I found by accident some pictures online of a 3D mandala, I starred at it in shock, since it was exactly the palace I saw in my dream.

The dream I need help with is not from this category, but i feel that it has an important message for me. I just don't know what is it.
Shortly, I've dreamed about the death of my boyfriend. In dream he died together with somebody else, who was meant to die (???); my BF was with this person by mistake, so they died together. I was told he was smashed by something; I was never saw his body, only this other person's body, which didn't impress me at all. I was deeply disturbed and crying in my dream, as I love him very much, and I knew I'll never see him again. Then, as a ray of hope, I remember that he most probably will be somewhere around me as a spirit, so I tried to feel him. I woke up with this acute pain in my heart and in my throat, as I imagine I cried a lot in my sleep. The dream happened in one of these places I never saw before, but dreamed about it before. There is also something important about number four in this dream. Woke up sure that it has something to do with number four.

By the end of the day, even if I was deeply disturbed by it, I shook it of as just a weird dream.

Now, the second night , the dream goes on from exactly where I left it. Same place, same people, same dreadful situation of his sudden death, and knowing that the only way to contact him again was as a spirit. So me and all these people who turn out to be his relatives (which I don't met so far) are preparing his funeral, while I try with all my powers to feel his presence around me. This went on like the whole night, and I woke up really worried.

I searched online for the meanings, but somehow the urgency and the strong impact of the dream doesn't fit with what I read online.
None of us have health issues, or other life threatening problems.
Maybe is worth mentioning that I had a very special dream right before meeting this guy; our relationship is bumpy but very deep. We are together for two years now. He's not very worried about this dream, just joking that we should make love now, quickly, before something will happen... men, what can I say...

If someone can give some insight into the meaning of this dream, I'll be more than grateful. I am worried and quite afraid to go to sleep again.
Thank you for your time.

posted on Oct, 29 2011 @ 12:16 AM
reply to post by WhiteHat

Dreams can be your insight to the future, as well as the past. You are very aware of that, and that is good.

Your BFs demise is not of a life or death demise, its related to your relationship with him and his friend.

If your relationship with your BF ends in the future, you will not see your BF again more than likely, but you may see his friend every now and then; which won't particularly interest you as the friend doesn't interest you in your dreams.

Your life will continue onward, you haven't found your true home yet and probably not your true BF, or you would have found both in your dreams.

Keep your chin up. You will do well.

posted on Oct, 29 2011 @ 12:33 AM
reply to post by RussianScientists

Thank you for the insight.
A lot to think about; I know you are right about my real home, and probably my real BF.
Funny that even after his death, I still wanted to help and be in touch.
I definitely must learn to let go, this I already know from some time.
Thanks again.

posted on Oct, 29 2011 @ 01:16 AM
reply to post by WhiteHat

Oh wow. We have a lot in common! I am living in a country that is not my native one too. I've been here for 20 years though. In the beginning, I wasn't planning on staying this long, I didn't speak the language here, and was pretty unhappy for a couple of years. I began to introvert a lot because, well, I just couldn't feel a part of anything around me anyway!

I took up hiking by myself, meditating in nature, and basically just became very very tuned to my interior. My dreams and visions all began to get very important to me, and a lot of strange phenomena began to happen.
One of them was that my dreams, or visions I'd have when meditating, would start to show me things before they happened. -Like I saw the death of one of my parents, and it upset me for days, until I got a call from my stepfather to tell me my mother had died unexpectedly.
Now, I don't want to suggest that in this case, your dream predicts a real future event, I get the feeling it is not.

But what I think happened to me in time is that my previous ego broke down progressively, being in an environment which was so totally different, in which my ideas, values and beliefs no longer applied, and no one else was with me to sustain them. I began to lose myself and my perception of my place in the world.

I now see that as a phase which was beneficial to me in the long run- if you really want to be a self made person, you'd have to be stripped down of all your previosu education, down past the subconscious conditioning you recieved as a child, to start again choosing your values, views and ideas consciously. But that stripping down is scary. I think it was Carl Jung that described this process- in order to be sane, you have to first go insane. Because that transition means you lose all the barriers that protect your mind and are open then to all kinds of energy in the collective consciousness.

That is all hard to explain, and I haven't foudn a clear and easy way of decribing it yet. But to get to my guess at your dream, I propose this-

Your boyfriend is the man whom you project upon your inner masculine side, your animus.
One way to look at the masculine side of yourself is to consider it the ego. The consciousness of self that focuses intent and goals into the future. We can have that part of us change a few times in life, depending upon how we are projecting our our future, and therefore the meanings of everything we do in the present in accordance to that future.

In other words, our ego can die, when our vision of our future become unclear or changes drastically. When that happens, a new ego, a new vision of future, goals, and intents is born and slowly develops, and because of that, our self concept changes.

You may have your previous view of your future undergoign a drastic change, in which all your previous projections of future possibility are being let go, and perhaps in favor of searching a new vision of future, and your place in the world, and how and what you will do in it.

This may not be telling you about the passing away of your boyfriend, but telling you of the passing away of your previous ego, your self concept. The one that was supposed to die, could actually be a symbol of that, and you might have some fear that if you were to radically change- become no longer what you were- would you also lose your boyfriend??? He fell in love with a specific kind of person..... if that person became different.....maybe his love would go with too?

That is just my guess and I am just throwing it out there on the table, only you can ultimately figure out what it really meant. But like I said, I am (was) in a similar situation. When I did begin to let my new personality and new intents start to take place, I got very scared that I would loose my husband (especially since I was very dependant upon him, being in his country!) The new me that was emerging was very different than what he had originally fallen in love with.

But ultimately, I had no choice. I could not stop the growth, no more than a caterpillar can avoid becoming a butterfly. I can tell you this though- my change was into a woman more powerful, more dynamic, more wise, more exciting! Not only did he not stop loving me, his love for me grew stronger!

I eventually had to accept that I was never going home, and that unless I wanted to stay depressed about that for the rest of my life, I had to let go of the past and start investing myself completely in this environment. It was good a decision for me, and opened a whole new world of opportunity. Be here now, and don't be afraid of your boyfriend being overwhelmed by the butterfly that might emerge! Growth in such circumstance is unavoidable- your mind is being expanded by your experiences, and at some point it just has to shed it's barriers to form larger ones to contain it..

posted on Oct, 29 2011 @ 01:39 AM
I am rather interested in your dreams, obviously! LOL! Just because I can relate so much.....

I had a dream in that transition time, in which I was in a big old rambling house, it had parts that were very old, and parts that had been more recently added on to. But it had low ceilings, and was fairly dark inside. Later my dream house changed to be a really beautiful palace, with high ceilings and light, and fancy staircase. With time it has changed and is now just as big, but made of more modern materials, in a more more modern style, of wood and glass, and with an excellent view. It is said that houses in dream signify the mind.
You may be looking to change your mind!

edit on 29-10-2011 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 29 2011 @ 08:31 AM
reply to post by Bluesma

Wow indeed!
There are so many things in your reply that I can identify with, it's amazing!

But what I think happened to me in time is that my previous ego broke down progressively, being in an environment which was so totally different, in which my ideas, values and beliefs no longer applied, and no one else was with me to sustain them. I began to lose myself and my perception of my place in the world.

Exactly what I felt for such a long time! I remember when someone from back home asked me how I'm doing in my new country, I've told them that I feel like a piece of meat going through a meat processor and coming out at the other side like this minced meat, made of very small particles, a lot of very small pieces of myself.
I felt like I'm unable to put myself back together. I also found refuge in meditating, reading, walking at the beach...alone, always alone.
When I came to the part where I realized that I must let go all my previous self, I guess I did it, but I let go of all my hopes also. I didn't filled the empty space with nothing from this country. My relationships with people are at the extreme minimum, even at work, I avoid as much as I can to even read in this language. I've lost my old identity and didn't get a new one, if you know what I mean. I gave up everything.

Lately I realized that I become more and more isolated and depressed, and if I don't change something soon, I will probably develop one of those social phobia and be a freak for the rest of my life. The problem is I don't even know where to start to. After so many years of rejecting this place and its people, I don't even remember if I don't want to be here because I don't like them, or I don't like them because I don't want to be here lol. And now it's too late to leave, since I have two kids who are born and grew up here, and they don't see nothing wrong with this country.
The houses from my dreams are always dark, small, twisted, with unfinished parts and very old, like the house from the Great Expectations by Dickens. I sometimes dream of beautiful hotels, with clear pools, exotic plants and waterfalls, and a lot of light, but is never MY house.

I will think about everything you've told me, and how to change my situation, other than dreaming how to escape this place. At least I feel encouraged that someone else did it, so it is possible. I'm quite sick and tired of my self right now.

Now on topic: I guess that I probably used the relationship with my BF to replace all the other things that are missing from my life, and sooner or later I will find out that is not enough and it will not solve my problems. And I guess that a change in my attitude will also bring a reevaluation of our relationship.

Anyway, thank you for your replies, and for the time you invested in them; it's so rare to find someone who can really understand this situation and give a helpful advice.
All my best to you, my friend.
edit on 29-10-2011 by WhiteHat because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 30 2011 @ 04:15 AM
reply to post by WhiteHat

BOY do I understand what you are saying!! I was in exactly the same place (mentally). I had three kids here, and at one point was actually thinking about divorce (despite my love for my husband) because I just couldn't handle staying here. But I couldn't justify doing that to my kids. I felt trapped.

I am in France, and spent so much time rolling my eyes and putting down the french in general, in my attempt to hold on to who I was, nobody much liked me anyway, understandably. It took me TEN years to finally break down and get the double nationality. Ten years also, to stop driving illegally and get a french drivers license (I was obligated to take ten hours of driving lessons like the kids, which was utterly humiliating).

I still feel like I was obligated to regress into a childlike state to start over, in order to avoid depression. My self esteem plummetted, I went from being a strong willed outgoing and confident person to a shy, unsure and socially retarded one. And it has been a long and hard trip to gain back any sense of confidence.

For me the thing that really triggered some growth up and out was finding an old childhood passion and undertaking it. If you are going to start over, might as well use the opportunity to do thigns you wish you had earlier! My husband found out I had been crazy about horses when young, and he bought me a horse! Not only that, a young horse. I had to learn to ride, and to train, and had to get into lessons, and interact with others, which was HELL at first. I had become unable to do team work, and the french concepts of authority are completely different, so I'd balk at most instructors. I was in the ER often with all the injuries I got, and often cried at night afraid of getting up on that horse tomorrow.

But that dream was the thing that made my blood flow and I wanted it bad enough to live through all this anyway. It beame my first path of entry into the community and re-learning to socialize, and even my inspiration to force me to get down the language better.

A few years of that, and soon I was getting a job, then I saved my money to buy my own business, which became the social center of our town! The biggest part of my job was talking to people (I had a grocery store and bakery, and the french get fresh hot bread before each meal, so I saw everyone a few times a day). I got to know everyone, everyone knew me, and was the local shrink for many). Ten years ago I couldn't imagine that possible for me, not here.

I remember after I got that horse, and the rising passion, ambition, drive, and will I felt, I seriously thought it would destroy my marriage. Our relationship was going to undergo huge changes, I knew. I was going back to my tomboy strong self, and frankly I felt afraid it would overwhelm him and he'd find it repulsive. There were some difficulties adapting at first, but we made it through.

Just because this was my experience, I would suggest, as a result, that finding some sort of hobby or dream that makes your heart sing might help to crawl out of this. Find something you always wished you had done as a kid, and get into it. After the equestrian world, I am now finding out I have tons of things I want to learn and experience! I am doing scuba diving now. I also want to go back to school and study all kinds of things, and though doing that in french will be a huge challenge, I want it bad enough that I am willing to make that effort.

Good luck to you! I hope you can find a way to feel more fulfilled! I so know the difficulty and feel lots of compassion!

top topics


log in